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Insult Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Bully: Hey loser your diск belongs in your pants not your personality.
Others: HAHAHA.
Me: At least I have one.
Me: Are you talking about the one in your вuтт?.
Others: OOH.
Me: Nope im talking about the one in your mom.
Others: DAAAM.
Bully: You are as gаy as your grandpas роrn episodes.
Others: WOOOOOOW DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM.
Me: I am straighter the pole your mom dances on.
Others: WOOOOOOOW ОМG DAMM THIS IS SERIOUS.
Bully: Fuск you.
Me: Just like I f*cked you and your sister in a тhrееsоме.
Others: IT NEVER ENDS.
Bully: I f*cked your mom with my peppermint stick diск after I was done with her she was shooting out peppermints.
Others:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Me: Boy the closest you will ever get to a рussy is a cat.
Others: WHEN WILL THIS EVER ENNDDDDD.
Bully: Ugly little b*tch.
Me: Im not a mirror.
Others: OOOOOOOH.
Bully: Boy you are a gross ugly f*ck.
"Friend comes over."
Friend: Whats are you talking about?
Bully: Something you dont have.
Others: OOOOOOH.
Bully: Rekt.
Friend: Just like yourself, diск, and life.
Others:OMGUHSKBJHVDJVDHVGCVDJCVHHJDSVCJSDVCJHD
Bully: ...
Me: Give your аss some attention its probably jealous of all of the shiт coming out your mouth.
Others: BOOOOOOOM.
"I walk away with pride."

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Gross Jokes Insult Jokes Friendship Jokes

Bully: Hey nerd, your gay
Me: That's why there was loud noise complaints, saying it was coming from your moms bedroom

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Insult Jokes

There are too many weird Olympic events now, like that one where the gymnasts prance around the mat swirling a piece of ribbon. It's called 'rhythmic gymnastics' -- unless you're five, then it's called 'playing.'

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Insult Jokes

Bully: Why do you have a small mouth?
Girl: To make your diск look big.

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Insult Jokes

I may love to shop but I'm not buying your вullshiт.

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Insult Jokes

Bully-if you look up sтuрid in the dictionary their will be a picture of you.
Me-well i don't have to look up sтuрid in the dictionary.
Bully-*speachless
Me-also my dictionary doesnt have pictures

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Insult Jokes

*Somebody insults you* Well next time we have an argument ill buy you a соndом so you can prepare before you go fuск yourself

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Insult Jokes

Comeback: You are an inspiration for birth control

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Insult Jokes

George Bush speaks Spanish. That's why they love him in Miami -- 'cause he speaks Spanish and 'cause he hates Castro. Won't even refer to Castro as 'president.' It's always, 'Mr. Castro.' And Castro refers to Bush as 'El Реndеjо Junior.'

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Insult Jokes

Shock me, say something intelligent.

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Insult Jokes

Guy: Who's your daddy?
Girl: He's a cop that arrests perverts like you
Guy: ....

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Insult Jokes

I don't care how funny you are, if I don't like you, I won't laugh.

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Insult Jokes

If someone on the web replies "no one cares" to you, say-
"You care considering you took the time to click the reply button, type your response and click the post button."
And if he/she is the only one to respond, insert "the most" between "care" and "considering".

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Insult Jokes

Your so bad when you were eating alphabet soup you choked on the D because you Suскеd it to hard!

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Insult Jokes

You were probably born on the expressway... Thats where all the accidents happen

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Insult Jokes

Mom:
"Eat your vegetables."
Kid:
"I hate vegetables!"
Mom:
"But they like you."
Kid:
"That's because I don't eat them!"

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

“Am I allowed to call a police officer a сunт?”
“No, sir, you are not. That would be an insult.”
“Would it be OK if I called a сunт ‘Officer’?”
“Yes, sir. That would be weird, but allowed.”
“Good night, Officer.”

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Office and Work Jokes Insult Jokes Police Officer Jokes

Diскhеаd: Hey jеrк, How's you're cousin after last nights session?HAHAHA.
Guy: She's fine. How's your sister after I wrecked her and your mum last night in a тhrееsоме?
Dickhead: Say it again!
Guy: How's your sister after I wrecked her and your mum last night in a тhrееsоме?
Dickhead: You аsshоlе, I'm gonna make you eat those words!
Guy: What like how I ate your sister out last night?
Dickhead: You suск!
Guy: Just how your mum suскеd me off last night?
Dickhead: My dad was at home you do know so it can't have happened.
Guy: You're dad was at work. Oh and tell your mum that I left some money for her in the bedside table and that she should call me if she wants another mouthful.

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Insult Jokes Dad Jokes

Dad hates that I'm a stand-up comic, but it's his fault. He did the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life: did the splits getting out of the shower. Let that sink in. Fат man, wet floor -- people, I can't write a joke better than that.

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Insult Jokes Men jokes Dad Jokes Fat Jokes

Every gym, the water fountain situation -- always the same. There's always one water fountain everybody uses, then there's one three feet below it, next to it, no one touches. Who's it for? What little мidgет treasure trolls at your gym?

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Insult Jokes