Insurance jokes

The barn at Larry and Susan's farm burned down, and Susan called the insurance company.
Susan:
"We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money."
Agent:
"Wait just a minute, Susan... it doesn't work quite like that. We will determine the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth."
Susan, after a pause:
"I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."

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Chocolate rain
Some stay dry and others feel the pain
Chocolate rain
A baby born will die before the sin
Chocolate rain
The school books say it can’t be here again
Chocolate rain
The prisons make you wonder where it went
Chocolate rain
Build a tent and say the world is dry
Chocolate rain
Zoom the camera out and see the lie
Chocolate rain
Forecast to be falling yesterday
Chocolate rain
Only in the past is what they say
Chocolate rain
Raised your neighborhood insurance rates
Chocolate rain
Makes us happy ‘livin in a gate
Chocolate rain
Made me cross the street the other day
Chocolate rain
Made you turn your head the other way
Chocolate rain
History quickly crashing through your veins
Chocolate rain
Using you to fall back down again
Chocolate rain
History quickly crashing through your veins
Chocolate rain
Using you to fall back down again
Chocolate rain
Seldom mentioned on the radio
Chocolate rain
It’s the fear your leaders call control
Chocolate rain
Worse than swearing worse than calling names
Chocolate rain
Say it publicly and you’re insane
Chocolate rain
No one wants to hear about it now
Chocolate rain
Wish real hard it goes away somehow
Chocolate rain
Makes the best of friends begin to fight
Chocolate rain
But did they know each other in the light?
Chocolate rain
Every February washed away
Chocolate rain
Stays behind as colors celebrate
Chocolate rain
The same сriме has a higher price to pay
Chocolate rain
The judge and jury swear it’s not the face
Chocolate rain
History quickly crashing through your veins
Chocolate rain
Using you to fall back down again
Chocolate rain
History quickly crashing through your veins
Chocolate rain
Using you to fall back down again
Chocolate rain
Dirty secrets of economy
Chocolate rain
Turns that body into GDP
Chocolate rain
The веll curve blames the baby’s DNA
Chocolate rain
But test scores are how much the parents make
Chocolate rain
Flippin’ cars in France the other night
Chocolate rain
Cleans the sewers out beneath Mumbai
Chocolate rain
’Cross the world and back it’s all the same
Chocolate rain
Angels cry and shake their heads in shame
Chocolate rain
Lifts the ark of paradise in sin
Chocolate rain
Which part do you think you’re livin’ in?
Chocolate rain
More than marchin’, more than passing law
Chocolate rain
Remake how we got to where we are
Chocolate rain
History quickly crashing through your veins
Chocolate rain
Using you to fall back down again
Chocolate rain
History quickly crashing through your veins
Chocolate rain
Using you to fall back down again

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School Jokes Criminal Jokes Insurance Comedy

My Dear Sirs;

In reply to your request to send a check, I wish to inform you that the present condition of my bank account makes it almost impossible. My shattered financial condition is due to federal laws, state laws, county laws, city laws, corporation laws, liquor laws, mother-in-laws, brother-in-laws, sister-in-laws, outlaws, and blue laws.

Through these laws I am compelled to pay a business tax, amusement tax, head tax, school tax, gas tax, light tax, sales tax, liquor tax, carpet tax, income tax, food tax, furniture tax, and excise tax, even my brains are taxed.

I am required to get a business license, car license, hunting and fishing license, truck license, not to mention a marriage license, and a dog license.

I am also required to contribute to every society and organization which the genius of man is capable to bringing to life. To the women’s relief, unemployed relief, and gold diggers relief; also to every hospital and charitable institution in the city including the black cross, the blue cross, the purple cross, and the double cross.

For my own safety I am required to carry a life insurance, property insurance, liability insurance, burglar insurance, accident insurance, business insurance, earthquake insurance, tornado insurance, unemployment insurance, old age and fire insurance.

My business is so governed that it is no easy matter for me to find out who owns it. I am inspected, suspected, disrespected, rejected, dejected, examined, informed, required, summoned, commanded, and compelled, until I’ve provided an in-exhaustible supply of money for every known need of the human race.

Simply because I refuse to donate to something-or other I am boycotted, talked about, lied about, held up, held down, and robbed until I am almost ruined. I can tell you honestly that except for the miracle that happened I could not enclose this check. The wolf that comes to many doors these days just had pups in my kitchen. I sold them and … here is your money!

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Jokes about Women School Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Men jokes Banker Jokes Boycott Jokes Dog jokes Insurance Comedy

Do you have pet insurance?? Because I’m going to destroy your рussy.

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Pick-Up Lines Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Insurance Comedy

A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in for coronary surgery. The operation went well, and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy waiting by his bed.
“Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,” the nun said while patting his hand. “We do have to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?”
“No, I’m not,” the man whispered hoarsely. “Can you pay in cash?”
“I’m afraid I can’t, Sister.”
“Do you have any close relatives, then?”
“Just my sister in New Mexico,” replied, “but she’s a spinster nun.”
“Nuns are not spinsters, Mr. Smith,” the nun replied. “They are married to God.”
“Okay,” the man said with a smile, “then bill my brother-in-law.”

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Nun jokes Insurance Comedy

Healthcare in America is too expensive, ain't it? It's too expensive for the average person. What if you below average with no insurance? You might as well call Dr. Kevorkian.

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Dark Humor Jokes USA Jokes Insurance Comedy