Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

A plane is about to crash and on it there is a Blonde, Micheal Jackson, a school-boy and the pilot. There are only 3 parachutes. MJ takes one a screams i'm too famous to die, and jumps. then goes the blonde who says she's too pretty to die, and then the pilot says,
"Its ok, you can live you life" to the school-boy, but then the kid says "it's ok, the blonde took my school-bag"

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Guy: Open your eyes.
Asian Kid : No, cuz then i will see your face.

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

I don't even know what they do, really. I think they make a lot of signs out of glitter and glue. There's a lot of eyeliner and puffy paint. It's like a slutty kindergarten.

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Kids Jokes

I'm scared of sеx. You can get something terminal -- like a kid.

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

When you're a kid, man, you just started doing something -- it was fun... Remember you'd be in the other room, bored, complete burnout time:
'Man, I'm bored, man.' You just make something up. It was just great. 'Alright, I'm gonna run in the kitchen, touch the refrigerator and come back!'

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Kids Jokes Men jokes

A young hotshot gets a job with the IRS. His first assignment is to audit an old rabbi.
He thinks he’ll have a little fun with the old rabbi, so he says, “Rabbi, what do you do with the drippings from the candles?”
The rabbi says, “We send them to the candle factory, and every once in a while they send us a free candle.”
The kid says, “And what do you do with the crumbs from your table?”
The rabbi says, “We send them to the matzo ball factory, and every once in a while they send us a free box of matzo ваlls.”
The kid says, “And what do you do with the foreskins from your circumcisions?”
The rabbi says, “We send them to the IRS, and every once in a while they send us a little diск like you.”

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Kids Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

What does a little kid crying sound like? Asian porn

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Kids Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

One cold winter day a boy was standing out side a shoe store praying to God for some socks or some shoes. Just them a lady walks up to him and says,
"Is there something that I can help you with?" He looks down at his feet,and says "well, I would like some shoes."
She grabs his hand and takes him in to the shoe store. She asks for a dozen pair of socks and a pair of shoes. They sit down; get the socks and shoes on. As the woman is getting up to leave, the boy says thank you, and she tells him that if he ever needs anything else, to not to be afraid to ask. So he asks, "Are you Gods wife?"

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Jokes about Women Kids Jokes God Jokes

It's always been a dream of mine to get the minivan. I don't know about you guys, but when I was in a high school, my bedroom wall was covered in minivan posters. I had that popular one, where the pregnant woman is leaning against the hood, surrounded by 14 kids; the husband's in the back with a rifle in his mouth; the mother-in-law standing next to him -- 'You can do it.'

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Jokes about Women School Jokes Kids Jokes

The three friends were walking home from school. “What shall we do this afternoon?” said one. “I know,” said the second, let’s spin a coin. If it comes down heads let’s go skating, and if it comes down tails let’s go swimming.” “And if it comes down on its edge,” said the third, “let’s stay in and do our homework!”

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Friendship Jokes

All parents are proud of overachieving children, and one father was no exception...
The bumper sticker on his car read "My Kid Made Your License Plate".

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes

I love little children, but they are like pinatas full of urinе.

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Kids Jokes

Teacher: Get off your phone.
Kid: I'm not on my phone.
Teacher: Yes, you are. Seriously, nobody just stares down at their crotch and smiles.

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

A Tourist was driving down a country road in Kentucky when he saw a little boy walking down the road with only one shoe on.
He stopped and said,
"What's the matter son? Did you lose a shoe?"
The boy says,
"Nope! Just found one."

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Kids Jokes

Teacher: What does your father do for a living?
Student: He is a magician.
Teacher: what is his favorite event.
Student: He cuts people in two.
Teacher: How many brothers and sisters do you have?
Student: One half-brother and one half-sister....

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Kids Jokes

A young girl was very much interested in the progress of her mother’s pregnancy. Finally the day of birth drew near and the girl overheard arrangements being made for her mother to go to the hospital. She looked at her mother with great puzzlement and said,
“Mom, I don’t understand. If they’re going to deliver the baby, why do you have to go to the hospital?”

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Kids Jokes

I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.

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Kids Jokes

A kid asked his mother, “Mom, can you buy me those two toys that we had seen at the store the other day?”
His mother replied, “I will buy you one of them. One is enough to keep you busy at playtime.”
Later that day, the kid started doing his homework. The mother said, “Remember that you have two activities as homework today.”
The kid replied, “I will do one of them. One is enough to keep me busy at study time.”

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Kids Jokes

Why are black women so bad at cooking???????? The easiest answer is just look at every one of their kids, all overcooked and burnt............... HD24

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Jokes about Women Kids Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

A first grade teacher was looking at her students as they were trying out their desk computers. One boy was staring at the screen, looking dumbstruck and confused. The teacher came and read what was on the screen and in her most reassuring voice said, “The computer wants to know what your name is."
The boy then leaned over and whispered, “My name is David."

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Kids Jokes