Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

When she was pregnant, she would get these cravings in the middle of the night. She would get these cravings for other men.

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I'm not saying I'm addicted but I've cut more lines than a crippled kid at Disney Land.

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Kids Jokes

Billy walks into class late. His teacher says, “Billy, do not walk into class late again." The next day Billy crawls into class late once again. His teacher says, “Billy, I thought I told you not to come into class late." Billy responds, "No, you told me I couldn't walk in class late.

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Kids Jokes

Chuck Norris once high-fived a kid on Halloween. The kid's name was Neil Armstrong. He landed on the moon.

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Kids Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Halloween Jokes

My mom says to me all the time, she goes, 'Tami, you haven't met the right guy yet because you don't wear enough lipstick or rouge.' Rouge! I'm not sure if you guys know, but this isn't even a product on the market anymore.

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Kids Jokes

(Kangaroo peeks into a mans pants) "WOW your kid is so small!"

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

Newly Married
A newly-married couple came home from their honeymoon and moved into the upstairs apartment they’d rented from the groom’s parents.
That night, the father of the groom was awakened from his sleep by his wife.
“Tony, listen!” she whispered. He listened. Upstairs, the bed was creaking in rhythm.
The wife said, “Come on, Tony! Let’s make love!”
So Tony climbed on top of his wife, and they ‘did’ it.
As he was trying to fall back asleep 15 minutes later, the bed upstairs started creaking in rhythm again.
“Come on, Tony!” said the wife. “Let’s make love again!”
Once again, Tony climbed on top of his wife and ‘did’ it again.
As he was trying to fall back asleep 15 minutes later, the bed upstairs started creaking in rhythm again.
“Come on, Tony!” said the wife. “Let’s do it again!”
So Tony grabbed a broom and pounded on the ceiling as he shouted, “Hey, kids, cut it out!
You’re killing your old man down here!”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes

Teacher: Hey kiddo, stop playing with you're glasses. Geez, you would look so nice without glasses.
Kid: Yeah, and we would be so smart and not bored if we had a teacher who's actually smart and funny/

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

An asylum seeker is at the side of the road eating grass.
A man pulls up in his car and says, “Hey! Don’t eat that. Come home with me and I’ll feed you.”
The asylum seeker replies, “I have four wives and twelve kids, can they come too?”
The man says, “Fсuк off, I’ve only got a small lawn!”

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Kids Jokes Men jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

Dоuсhе Kid: You're fat
Fat Guy: Im fат, you're ugly, I can loose weight, you can't fix your face in anyway.
Douche Kid: (silence)

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes Fat Jokes

My friend: you where a mistake your parents didn't want a kid like you!
Me: well at least I wasn't born on a interstate where accidents happen!!!!!
Other friends: OHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIT!

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team. But then I learned they don't cross the country and are back home in a few hours.

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Kids Jokes

I named my kids after the place they were conceived.
Although I’m almost 100 percent sure Intheass isn’t mine.

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Kids Jokes Sex Jokes

I could never, ever raise a child to whom I gave birth because a newborn is about the size of a basketball. And if I had to expel a basketball from my body via a very restricted passageway, I would never want to see that basketball again -- not even on weekends.

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Kids Jokes

From Facebook:
“Dirтy dishes prove i feed my child, messy floors prove that i let my kid have fun, piles of clothes prove i keep my child in clean clothes, a messy bathroom proves that i bath my child! So next time you walk into my house and see a mess, think twice before you judge!!! keep this going if u r a parent”
I just thought it meant you were a useless, lazy slаg.
What do I know.

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Kids Jokes Facebook Jokes Internet Jokes

A kid was a very good painter. Once a neighbor broker her nails while trying to pick-up a $100 bill lying on the ground because it looked so real.
She called the kid’s father and complained about the kid. The father said, “That’s nothing. My son drew a switch on the power socket yesterday and now I am in the hospital.”

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Kids Jokes

Teacher: Guess what?
Class: WHAT?!
Teacher: I'm going to have a baby!
Class: How?!
Kid: She had SЕX!
Class:What's that?
Kid: Where the doorknob goes into the рussy cat.
Class: Oooh.
Teacher: That's enough!

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Teacher:
"Lean, how old were you on your very last birthday?"
Lean:
"Seven."
Teacher:
"Then how old will you be on your next birthday?"
Lean:
"Nine."
Teacher:
"That's impossible!"
Lean:
"No, teacher, I'm 8 today!"

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Kids Jokes

Visiting his parents’ retirement village in Florida, my middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk.
Tim struck up a conversation with the only other person in the pool, a five-year-old boy. After a while, Tim’s father returned from his walk and called out, "I’m ready to leave."
Tim then turned to his new friend and announced that he had to leave because his father was calling. Astonished, the wide-eyed little boy cried, "You’re a kid?"

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Kids Jokes Old People Jokes Friendship Jokes

A man and his wife had gotten into the habit of referring to making love as “doing the laundry” so their kid’s wouldn’t know what was up.
One day the man came home from work and said to his wife, “Honey, let’s do some laundry.”
“Not now,” she said, “I’ve had a hard day and I just wanna watch a little t. V.”
“OK,” he says, “I’m gonna go take a nap.”
Time passed and the missus decided that a little whoopee might be just the thing so she joined her hubby in the bedroom.”I’ve changed my mind, let’s do some laundry ” she said.
“Sorry,” said the husband, “but I just had a small load, so I did it by hand.”

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Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes