Lawyer Jokes

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Каква е разликата между батут и педераст? Каква е разликата между негър и батут? Jumper Unterschied zwischen Waldhorn und Trampolin Quelle est la différence entre une blonde et un trampoline ? Tu enlèves tes chaussures pour sauter sur le trampoline. Wat is het verschil tussen een Turk en een trampoline? - Bij een trampoline moet je je schoenen uit doen Vad är skillnaden på en trampolin och en neger? – Man tar av skorna innan man hoppar på en trampolin. Wat is het verschil tussen een Turk en een trampoline? Bij een trampoline moet je je schoenen uit doen Kuo skiriasi juodaodis vaikinas nuo batuto? Nusiauni batus, kad šoktum ant batuto.
Office and Work Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes Lawyer Jokes
A little old lady walks into the Bank of Canada with a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the president of the bank.
She tells the bank president that she has accumulated several hundred thousand dollars over the years and would like to open a trust in the bank.
The president is curious, so he asks her, "Where did you get all this money?"
The old lady replies, "I make bets."
The president then asks, "Bets? What kind of bets?"
The old woman says, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your ваlls are square."
"Ha!" laughs the president, "That's ridiculous - you can never win that kind of bet!"
The old lady challenges, "So, would you like to take my bet?"
"Sure," says the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my ваlls are not square!"
The little old lady says, "OK. I'll bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10 a.m. as a witness, and we'll see."
The next morning, the little old lady appears with her lawyer at the president's office. "OK," she says, "Time to drop your pants and settle this bet."
The president complies. The little old lady peers closely at his ваlls and asks if she could feel them. "Well, OK," says the bank president, "since there's so much money on the line."
Just then, the lawyer starts ваnging his head against the wall. The president asks the old lady, "What the hеll's the matter with your lawyer?"
She replies, "I bet him $50,000 that at 10 a.m. today, I'd have the president of the Bank of Canada's ваlls in my hand."
Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes Banker Jokes
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, and they got along very well.
One day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
"Have you any grounds?"
"Yes, an acre and half and nice little home."
"No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It made of concrete."
"I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?"
"No, we have carport, and not need one."
"I mean. What are your relations like?"
"All my relations still in Poland."
"Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player."
"Does your wife beat you up?"
"No, I always up before her."
"Is your wife a nagger?"
"No, she white."
"Why do you want this divorce?"
"She going to кill me."
"What makes you think that?"
"I got proof."
"What kind of proof?"
"She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom."
"I can read, and it say: 'Polish Remover.'"
One day, an immigrant from Poland entered a New York City Police Precinct to report that his American wife was planning to kill him. The police officer on duty was intrigued by this, and he asked,... A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well, until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he... The following conversion took place in a Polish church. Polish Man: I want to divorce my wife. Priest: Why my son? Polish Man: I think she is trying to kill me. Priest: What makes you say this?...
Ethnic and Racial Jokes Office and Work Jokes Nationality Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Divorce Jokes Lawyer Jokes Black People Jokes American Jokes Cheating Jokes
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he's smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than an sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, "What for?" The sheriff responds, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign." The lawyer says, "I slowed down and no one was coming."
"You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration please," say the sheriff impatiently. The lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket." The sheriff says, "That sounds fair, please exit your vehicle." The lawyer steps out and the sheriff takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it. The sheriff says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"
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