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Life Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
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One-Liner Jokes Life Jokes
I'm actually glad that 2 Chainz mentions his name at the begin of every song.
It gives me time to change the radio station.
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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Music and Musician Jokes Life Jokes
Как се казва "интелигентен човек в САЩ"? Wie nennt man einen intelligenten Menschen in Österreich? Tourist. I. Cum se cheama un barbat inteligent in America? R. Turist.
What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.
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USA Jokes Men jokes Life Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes
A Russian captain is trying to explain to his comrades the effects of atomic bombs:
"Now, imagine 20 no, 40, no... a 100 cases of vоdка and noone to drink them!"
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Russian Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Life Jokes Military Jokes
Mexicans cross the border 1...2... And 4 at one time, never 3. why?
Because the sign says - no tres passing.
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Life Jokes Mexican jokes
Yo mama so sтuрid that when I was drowning I yelled out to her that I needed a life saver and she said "Cherry or grape?"
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Yo Momma Jokes Life Jokes Stupid Jokes
There’s one good thing about life.
It’s only temporary.
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Life Jokes
What has four legs but can't walk?
A chair.
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Life Jokes
The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day.
Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.
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Religion jokes Political Jokes Life Jokes
The organizers of the concert complain to the conductor of a choir:
You were supposed to bring a mixed choir, but I can see only men here.
But it is a mixed choir – half of them know how to sing, and the other half- do not.
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Life Jokes Men jokes
Why can't cinderella get in the basketball team?
Because she keeps running away from the ball.
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Life Jokes
You WILL be a winner today.
Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
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Life Jokes
Life’s a вiтсh, and then you’re reincarnated.
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Life Jokes
The fastest dialog in the world:
(WC door is opening)
Man inside: Heyyy!
Man outside: Sorryyy!
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Men jokes Life Jokes
A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun.
"Your money or your life!" says the mugger.
"I'm sorry," the social worker answers, "I am a social worker, so I have no money and no life."
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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Life Jokes
Life is an open door.
It can be closed at any time, so don’t complain about the draught.
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Life Jokes
Are you free on Sunday?
The director asks his secretary.
Yes, sir.
Then, please, use this day to rest a bit, so you won’t be late at work on Monday.
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Office and Work Jokes Life Jokes Secretary Jokes
Another one was: Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'.
He said:
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.
'It's not unusual' he replied.
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Life Jokes
A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing.
Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his day’s work.
After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant.
Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation.
His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message:
"Debits in the column toward the file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window. Prefer Wraps and females who think realistically pick Wholemeal.”
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Office and Work Jokes Life Jokes
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
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Life Jokes Military Jokes
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