Men-Women jokes

You've been married to the women for 20 years.
She don't use nothing but Dial soap. Her mama uses Dial soap. All seven of her sisters use Dial soap in their seven respective homes. You can go through purse, pocketbook, and find Dial coupons any given time of the day or night. Dамn you if you come home smelling like Zest!

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Men vs Women Jokes

A couple at an art gallery see a picture of a nакеd woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on, but the huband keeps looking.
She asks, "What are you waiting for?"
He replies, "Autumn."

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Men vs Women Jokes Military Jokes

Q: Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony?
A: The guy who can carry a cup of coffee and a dozen donuts. Q: Who is the most popular girl at a nudist colony?
A: The girl who can eat the last donut.

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Men vs Women Jokes Coffee Jokes

A young woman goes to her doctor and finds out that she is pregnant.She says, "I can't be! The only men I've been around are nudists from my colony, and we only practice sеx with our eyes."
The doctor replies, "Someone in that colony must be cockeyed."

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Men vs Women Jokes

Q: What's a 68?
A: You do me and I owe you!

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Men vs Women Jokes Sex Jokes

A nun tells other nuns about how she was attacked the night before. She explains her escape, "I stopped and pulled my dress up."
Shocked, the other nuns ask, "And then what?"
"He pulled his pants down," the nun replies, "And then I ran. A nun with her dress up can run much faster than a man with his pants down."

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Men vs Women Jokes

A nun comes to her Mother Superior and asks her to hear a confession.
"Today Father Goodwin told me I had the gates of Heaven between my legs, and that he had the Key to Heaven. Then opened my gates with his key."
"That ваsтаrd!" says Mother Superior. "He told me it was Gabriel's trumpet, and I've been blowing it."

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Men vs Women Jokes American Presidents Humor

Q: Why does a blonde nurse carry around a red pen?
A: To draw blood.

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Men vs Women Jokes Nurse jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: What's green and eats nuts?
A: Syphilis.

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Men vs Women Jokes Gross Jokes Boycott Jokes

Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: "I want to hold your hand. Er, hands."

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Men vs Women Jokes Animal Jokes

Ladies, what's the first thing we do when they put us in the room and tell us to get undressed?
Look around and say, 'Now where am I gonna hide my раnтiеs?' Don't you roll them up and stick them in your purse? Or you tuck them down in your shoe? I hid mine so well the other day, I still can't find them.

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Men vs Women Jokes

A birch and a beech tree grow up side by side in the forest.
One day, a sapling grows between them, and each swears that it's not their son. The beech thinks it's a son-of-a-birch, and the birch thinks it's a son-of-a-beech. To settle it, they enlist the help of a woodpecker, who checks it out.
"You are both wrong," he says when he comes back up. "That's the best piece of ash I've ever had my рескеr in."

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Men vs Women Jokes

An old man and an old woman were sitting together on their front porch.
"You used to sit closer to me," said the woman. So the man moved closer.
"You used to put your arm around me." So the man put his arm around her.
"You used to nibble on my ear."
"Let me get my teeth."

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Men vs Women Jokes

While the teacher was conducting her class, Little Johnny yells out, "Teacher, teacher, I have to take a рiss."
The teacher, shocked, replies "No, Johnny you may not because you did not raise your hand. And I will speak to your mother for using that word."
So Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, teacher, I have to рее!" The teacher turns and says to Little Johnny, the word is 'urinate' and you may not go to the bathroom right now. Little Johnny gets up to leave the room and says, "Teacher, teacher, urinate, but if you have вiggеr тiтs you'd be a ten."

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Men vs Women Jokes School Jokes Boob Jokes

Did you hear about the man that was born with both sexes?
He had a diск and a brain!

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Men vs Women Jokes

Q: What's the difference between light and hard?
A: You can go to sleep with the light on.

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Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes

How can you tell a blond has been working at a computer?
There is white out all over the screen.

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Men vs Women Jokes

Three friends had a good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist.
At every bad situation he would always say “It could have been worse.”
His friends hated that quality about him, so they came up with a story so horrible that not even Joe could come up with a bright side.
So the next day, only two of his friends showed up for a golf date. Joe asked, “Where’s Gary?”
One of his friends said, “Didn’t you hear? Yesterday, Gary found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned the gun on himself.”
Joe says, ”Well it could have been worse.”
Both his friends said, “How in hеll could it be worse? Your best friend just killed himself!”
Joe says, “If it had happened two days ago, I’d be dead now!”

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Men vs Women Jokes

God came to Adam and said, "I've got some good news and some bad news."
"Well, give me the good news first," Adam replied.
"I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have wonderful conversations with Eve. The other оrgаn I have for you is called a реnis. It will allow you to reproduce your new intelligent life form and populate this planet."
Adam exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"
"The bad news is I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time."

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Men vs Women Jokes Religion jokes News and Politics Jokes God Jokes

Q: What does a woman do with her a**hole when she's having a оrgаsм?
A: She leaves him at home with the kids.

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Men vs Women Jokes