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New year jokes

Newest jokes in this category

On New Year's Eve, a woman stood up at a local pub and said it was time to get ready for the midnight countdown. At the sтrоке of midnight, she wanted every husband to stand next to the one person who made his life worth living. As the clock struck midnight, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Jokes about Women Bar and Bartender Jokes Relationship Jokes New year jokes

I had a quiet New Year’s Eve. Nothing to drink, TV switched off by 8.00pm, then bed with a long sеx session to end the night.
I hate prison.

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Sex Jokes New year jokes

My New Year’s Resolution was to stop making innuendo jokes about my sеxuаl stamina.
Day two and so far so good.
I just hope I can keep it up.

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New year jokes

Holiday Revelers, just remember: …. …..
1) Alcohol is not the 5th food group. …. …..
2) You’re on your own if the parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar. …. …..
3) You have a real problem if you have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. …. …..
4) It’s time to quit if the back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. …. …..
5) You can’t change a chandelier bulb by holding the bulb to the socket and letting the room spin. …. …..

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Food Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes New year jokes

New Year's is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don't want you reusing last year's calendar.

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New year jokes

For my New Year’s Resolution, I have decided to only smoke after sеx.
If 2014 is anything to go by, I’ve quit.

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Sex Jokes New year jokes

I hope you all have a prosperous New Year … I may have to borrow money.

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Money jokes New year jokes

I think women get more excited about New Year’s Eve than men. If you think about it, you can see why. What do you do on New Year’s Eve? You get drunк and make a lot of promises you don’t keep. You see, men do that all the time, it’s called dating!!

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Jokes about Women Men jokes New year jokes

I’ve thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year’s resolution.
1024×768.

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New year jokes

My New Years resolution for 2014 is gonna be for me to stop procrastinating

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New year jokes

I had no idea time zones were so far apart…
Just landed in China and it’s fuскing New Year apparently.

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New year jokes

What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve? Social Security.

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New year jokes

On new years eve I’m going to start wanking just before midnight and сuм exactly at 12 so I can pretend all the fireworks celebrations are for me.

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New year jokes

My New Year’s resolution is to stop pretending I’m Chinese.

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New year jokes

2016: Well 2017, it’s almost your turn. You cannot possibly do as bad a job as I did. 2017: Hold my вееr.

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New year jokes Beer Jokes

My New Year’s resolution is to save enough to buy a Velcro wall.
And I plan on sticking to it.

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New year jokes

It’s a good job Apple isn’t in charge of New Year.
We’d all be expecting 2015 and get 2014S instead.

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New year jokes

My new years revolution is to learn how to spell

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New year jokes

I hope my New Year’s Eve night out will be better than last year, when I got arrested in Bradford.
I tried to explain it was a misunderstanding. If I see a Ракi counting down from ten, my immediate reaction is to punch the сunт before he can hit the detonator.

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New year jokes Masturbation jokes

My resolution was to read more so I put the subtitles on my tv.

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New year jokes