One-Liner Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

So grateful somebody invented window blinds...
Or it would be curtains for all of us!

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One-Liner Jokes

A mighty сrаск was heard around the world as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the supercontinent, Pangaea, beginning continental drift.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Buckwheat of the Little Rascals fame grew up, became a Muslim, and changed his name. He now goes by Kareem of Wheat.

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One-Liner Jokes

My 5 year old:
"Do trees роор?"
Me:
"Of course they do, that’s how we get #2 pencils."

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One-Liner Jokes

Heres how you play: on your drive home tonight... when you get, like, 15, 20 minutes away from your house, take an Ambien -- and then just try to beat it. Really fun, and it makes the last part of the drive go really fast, you guys.

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One-Liner Jokes

Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders, but the Judge dropped the charges because Chuck Norris doesn't "attempt" мurdеr.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

How do you make a blonde a brunette? Turn her upside down

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A bunch of lawyers were sitting around the office playing poker.
"I win!" said Johnson.
Henderson threw down his cards. "That's it! I've had it! Johnson is cheating!!!"
"How can you tell?" Phillips asked.
"Those aren't the cards I dealt him!"

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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes Cheating Jokes

Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe?
Joe: I won it in a race.
Bill: How many people participated in it?
Joe: Three, a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me!

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Police Officer Jokes Money jokes One-Liner Jokes

Man is incomplete until he’s married.
Then he’s finished.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

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Marriage and Family Jokes One-Liner Jokes Love Jokes

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

`You seem to be in some distress,' said the kindly judge to the witness. `Is anything the matter?'
`Well, your Honor,' said the witness, `I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects.'

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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes

BLONDE: "Excuse me, what time is it right now?"
WOMAN: "It's 11:25PM."
BLONDE: (confused look on face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I've asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer."

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One-Liner Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: What is the definition of eternity?
A: Four blondes in four cars at a four-way stop.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Dressed as "El Niño" for Halloween

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One-Liner Jokes Halloween Jokes

This is how my week goes. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, FridaySaturdaySunday.

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One-Liner Jokes Monday jokes Friday jokes

Everyone has photographic memory!
Difference is some do not have any film.

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One-Liner Jokes

Do airport workers have to take hangar management courses?

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One-Liner Jokes Aviation Jokes

Are bulimics all bile lingual?

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One-Liner Jokes