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One-Liner Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows... You don't find Chuck Norris; he finds you.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Technology Jokes One-Liner Jokes

The hоrny мidgет found that the best way to make time with women was to be direct about it. So he went up to the tallest blondest woman at the party and said, "Hey, honey, whaddaya say to a little f*ck?"
She looked down at him and promptly replied, "Hello, you little f*ck!"

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One-Liner Jokes Blonde Jokes

I think if youre gonna get a tattoo, just get one: the words, Im dumb. Thats it. That way in 10 years, when you go, Why did I get this?, you can be like, Oh, Im dumb!

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One-Liner Jokes Insult Jokes

Turtle to turtle:
"Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"

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One-Liner Jokes Animal Jokes Love Jokes Weather jokes

Patient: Doctor, I have a tendency to gain weight in certain places. What would you recommend?
Doctor: Stay out of those places!

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

So I was in the chemist lab and I said to the assistant, “What gets rid of germs?”
She said,
"Ammonia cleaner."
I said,
"Oh sorry, I thought you worked here...”

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One-Liner Jokes

“Dispensed means to change from pounds to dollars.”

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One-Liner Jokes

Female court jesters in the Middle Ages often suffered from minstrel cramps.

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One-Liner Jokes

Lawyers in the produce industry have a turnip-client privilege. So do the advocados.

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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

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One-Liner Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

The teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of balancing his new checking account.
"The bank returned the check you wrote to the sporting goods store," his mother said.
"Oh good," he replied, "Now I can use it to buy some stereo equipment!"

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One-Liner Jokes Banker Jokes

Guesse what?....... chicken butt

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One-Liner Jokes

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Why are men like computers?
As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer you couldn't have gotten a better model!

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One-Liner Jokes

Chuck Norris does the Sunday New York Times Crossword Puzzle in ink.

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One-Liner Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Im watching some television tonight. Im watching The Discovery Channel. You know, this channel, you never ever plan on watching this. It just happens. Youre flickin around, all of a sudden -- boom -- youre watching a mole for an hour-and-a-half.

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One-Liner Jokes

A group of working men and women were enjoying happy hour ata local bar. One of them asked what time others went to bedon work nights. A blonde piped up from the end of the bar and said "Well, ifI'm not in bed by ten o'clock, I just go home."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Why did the blonde freeze to death at the drive-in?
She went to see "Closed for the season."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A man taunted Chuck Norris by holding a bag of Lays potato сhiрs in front of him and saying "Betcha can't just one!" Chuck Norris subsequently ate the сhiрs, the bag, and the man whole.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes