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One-Liner Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
A blonde says to a brunette, "Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt." The brunette says,
"Well, maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup."
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Coffee Jokes
I have a new idea for a game show for people who are high, and its called Can You Remember What You Just Saw? Thats actually the bonus round. Round one is Can You Describe Whats in Front of You Right Now? OK, you got it? Were going to take it away. What was it? We will not accept awesome.
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One-Liner Jokes
I think that Vanna White got the best job ever. Is that not the best job? If I were a woman, I would want that job so bad. Like, thats her job! What a country -- she just turns letters. I turn letters, but only when they glow. Im not sтuрid.
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One-Liner Jokes
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes
The US government is throwing away millions of unused stamps with pictures of favorite lawyers on them.
The people that use them don’t know which side to spit on!
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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes
Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? They don't know the route.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
I play the worlds most dangerous sport.
I disagree with my wife.
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Marriage and Family Jokes Sports Jokes One-Liner Jokes Communication Jokes
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A reporter outside of a courtroom asked a defendant clad only in a barrel: “Oh, I see your attorney lost the case!”
The defendant answered, “No, we won.”
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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
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Какво носят блондинките зад ушите си, за да привличат мъжете? Seduction Made Easy Was legt sich eine Blondine hinter die Ohren, damit sie attraktiver wirkt? - Ihre Füße. Qu'est-ce que les blondes se mettent derrière les oreilles pour être plus attractives ? Leurs chevilles ! Why does a blonde put perfume on her ankles? Because it ends up behind her ears anyway! ¿Qué se tienen que poner las mujeres en los hombros para estar atractivas?. Las rodillas. Hvad tager en blondine bag ørerne for at virke mere attraktiv? – Benene.
Blonde Jokes Dirty jokes One-Liner Jokes
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes Phone jokes
Chuck Norris is ambidextrous.
He can do Roundhouse kicks with his left and right leg.
All at the same time.
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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A blonde girl was talking to her redhead friend about her boyfriend's dandruff problem.
The redhead says "Why don't you give him Head and Shoulders?"
The blonde replies,
"How do you give shoulders?"
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Friendship Jokes
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows... You don't find Chuck Norris; he finds you.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Technology Jokes One-Liner Jokes
What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?
The rooster clucks defiance.
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Office and Work Jokes One-Liner Jokes Accountant Jokes Lawyer Jokes
A blonde's house was on fire, so she called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!"
The operator said, "OK, calm down, and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?"
The blonde replied, "Duh, in that big red truck!"
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Някакъв се обажда в пожарната: Пожар Блондинка предизвиква пожар в къщата си и звъни на пожарната. От там и отговарят: "Ist da die Feuerwehr? Hier brennt es !" - "Keine Panik, wie kommen wir denn zu Ihnen?" - "Haben Sie denn nicht mehr diese roten, schnellen Autos?" Мужик звонит пожарным и орет: - Помогите! Мой дом горит! Быстрее сюда! Диспетчер: - Как к вам доехать?" Мужик: - Вы, что совсем того?! На большой красной машине! A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone. "Please state the nature of your emergency," says the... Ein Anruf bei der Feuerwehr: “Hilfe bei mir brennt es!” Der Leitstellendisponent: “Ja, wie kommen wir denn zu Ihnen?” Anrufer: “Haben Sie nicht mehr die großen roten Autos?” - Halló, tűzoltóság? Kérem, jöjjenek gyorsan, ég a házam! - És hogy jutunk el Önhöz? - Miért? Már nincs meg az a szép piros autójuk? O blonda Suna la pompieri ca sa raporteze un incendiu in cartier. Operatorul il intreaba: - Cum ajungem acolo? - Pai nu mai aveti masinile alea mari si Rosii? Die Blondine ruft aufgeregt in den Telefonhörer: "Es brennt, es brennt! Machen Sie bitte schnell!" Der Feuerwehrmann am anderen Ende: "Wie kommen wir denn zu Ihnen?" Blondine: "Ja, haben Sie denn... Eine ältere Dame ruft die Feuerwehr an: "Es brennt! Es brennt! So kommen Sie doch! Es brennt! Es brennt!" Fragt der Feuerwehrmann: "Wie kommen wir denn zu Ihnen?" Fragt die Dame: "Ja - haben Sie...
Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Q: Why did the blonde think it was Sunday?
A: Because the sun was out.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Q: What's the difference between a man and a pig?
A: There's a difference?
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Insult Jokes Gross Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes One-Liner Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Math Jokes Fat Jokes
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes
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