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Relationship Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Two women were discussing marriage, and one said,
"We've been married ten years, and every night my husband has complained about dinner. Not one night without complaining about the food."
The other woman said,
"That's awful. Doesn't it bother you?"
The first one replied, "Oh, no. Not in the slightest."
"You must be a sаinт!" commented the second.
To which the first woman replied, "Why should I object? A lot of people don't like their own cooking."

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Relationship Jokes

I’ve been happily married for 4 years - out of a total of 25

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Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes

The prospective son-in-law was asked by his girlfriend's father, "Son, can you support a family?"
"Well, no, sir," he replied, caught off-guard by the question. "Your daughter and I were thinking we'd just have to support ourselves, the rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes

I have a love/hate relationship with my wife.
She’s bipolar.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes

So I didn't appear to be a loser, I concocted a story to tell my friends, about my having a girlfriend who lets me put lipstick and rouge on her.
In other words, not only did I make her up, I MADE her up!

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Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes

My dad always used to say, ‘What doesn’t кill you, makes you stronger,’ - ’till he had the accident.

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Relationship Jokes Dad Jokes

The following conversation took place between a husband and wife whilst at a restaurant.
Husband: What do you want to drink?
Wife: I guess I’ll have champagne.
Husband: Guess again.. Maybe you should go for a diet coke?

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Relationship Jokes

Earlier today my wife asked me to pass her some lip balm but I ended up giving her superglue by mistake. She’s still not talking to me.

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Relationship Jokes

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

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Relationship Jokes

When I found out my girlfriend was having a baby my life really changed. I changed my name, address and phone number.

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Relationship Jokes

What do relationships and video games have in common?
They both start off easy, then they get a little harder and then you end up cheating.

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Relationship Jokes

Cant believe how cheeky my son is. I bought him a bb gun for christmas and he got me a sweatshirt with a bullseye on the back.

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Christmas Jokes Relationship Jokes

I lost my job recently and don’t have much money but managed to get my girlfriend some really nice flowers the other day. It’s amazing what you can find attached to a lamppost.

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Money jokes Relationship Jokes

I've just ended this relationship with this woman. I think the chemistry was all wrong -- she blew up.

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes

Had a really stiff neck when I woke up this morning. My wife said she hopes it spreads.

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Relationship Jokes

A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotherapist's office and declares, "Doctor, I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday I broke that trust and had an affair! The guilt is killing me. I just want to forget that it ever happened!"
The hypnotherapist shakes his head and says. "Not again..."

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Relationship Jokes

Went on a date with a girl and I told her to text me when she got home. It’s been 3 weeks now and I still haven’t got a text, I think she must be homeless.

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Relationship Jokes

After 3 years of marriage, me and the wife had our first real fight last night.
I called my dad for advice on how to fix things.
He told me to apologize and admit I was wrong.
I was really looking for advice on how to dispose of the body.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes Dad Jokes

Q. What do women and bacon have in common?
A. They both look, smell and taste amazing but they also both slowly кill you.

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Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes

The other day my wife asked me to buy her something to make her look nice so I went to the liquor store.

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Relationship Jokes