Sarcasm Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

A visitor to Texas once asked, “Does it ever rain out here?”
“Yes, it does,” replied the rancher. “Do you remember that part in the Bible when it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?”
“Yes, I’m familiar with Noah’s flood,” the visitor said.
“Well,” said the rancher, “we got two and a half inches during that spell.”

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Sarcasm Jokes

A guy goes into a costume shop. He says, “I’m going to a costume party, I want to go as Adam.”
The girl brings out a fig leaf. He says, “Not big enough.”
She brings out a вiggеr one. He says, “Still not big enough.”
She brings out a huge fig leaf. He says, “Still not big enough.”
She says, “Listen, Ace, why don’t you just throw it over your shoulder and go as a gasoline pump?”

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Sarcasm Jokes

A guy walks into a bar, puts his pet rabbit up on the mahogany, and starts drinking. While he’s drinking, the rabbit starts doing little rabbit pellets on the bar.
After a while, he leaves, and another guy, a real loudmouth, walks in.
He says, “Hey, barkeep,give me a drink for me, a drink for you, what do you say, there’s nothing to do.”
He has a few drinks, and the whole time he’s running his mouth, annoying the bartender. Finally, he spots the rabbit pellets.
He says, “Hey, barkeep, what are these?”
The bartender says, “They’re smart pills.”
The loudmouth says, “Can I try a few?”
The bartender says, “Knock yourself out.”
The guy pops a few in his mouth, chews for a while, then spits them out and exclaims, “Yuck! These taste like fсuкing sh1t!”
The bartender says, “You’re getting fсuкing smarter already.”

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Sarcasm Jokes

Cadbury’s have brought out a new box of chocolates for inconsiderate people.
They’re self centred!

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Sarcasm Jokes

My gold plated вuтт-plug business is being sued by Apple.
Apparently they have a patent for overpriced сrар for arseholes.

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Sarcasm Jokes

I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my smartphone.
(The Only Thing Worse Than a Dead Person is a Dead Battery!)

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Sarcasm Jokes

Gentlemen: I have been riding trains daily for the last two years,and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day.
I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip.
I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people2,000 years ago. Yours truly, A Commuter.
Dear Sir: We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation2,000 years ago was by foot.
Sincerely, The Railroad.
Gentlemen:I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible, Book of David, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his аss.
That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last two years.
Yours truly, A Commuter

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Sarcasm Jokes

I saw a sign in McDonald’s today, it said ‘we do not accept $100 notes’.
Fcuk me, if I had a $100 note, I wouldn’t be eating in McDonald’s.

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Sarcasm Jokes

I applied for a job today and they ask for three references. I wrote, "a dictionary, a Thesaurus, and a map."

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Sarcasm Jokes

Some people have way more diск in their personality than they do in their pants.

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Sarcasm Jokes

The wife was counting all the 1p’s and 2p’s out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got angry and started shouting and crying for no reason !
I thought to myself ‘ she’s going through the change’.

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Sarcasm Jokes

Barry Manilow 1974 - Oh Mandy Barry Manilow 2017 - Oh Andy

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Sarcasm Jokes

Me being rude: Can you move out my fuскing way.
Me being nice: Can you please move out my fuскing way.

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Sarcasm Jokes

When she asked me if I liked her, I said, “No.” As I stared into her tearful eyes, I said, “You didn’t ask me if I love you, though.”
“Do you love me?” she said, as her face lit up. “No,” I replied.

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Sarcasm Jokes

I was playing Fifa earlier, and found that Chicago had a team called Chicago Fire.
I was disgusted, imagine naming your sports team after the worst event in your cities history.
You don’t see the New Orleans Katrinas, the Boston Massacres, the Okalahoma Bombings, the San Francisco Big Ones, or the New York Jets…

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Sports Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

The missus was watching a cookery programme the other day.
I said, “What you watching that for? You can’t cook.”
She said, “You watch роrn.”
Bitch.

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Sarcasm Jokes

Justin Bieber gets nакеd, looks in the mirror asks Serena, “Нun why is it that every time I look at my self nакеd my соск gets hard ?
“She replies without missing a beat,”Because, even your соск thinks you’re a рussy”

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Sarcasm Jokes

1 out of 5 people suffer from loneliness.
So, if you look around and you don’t see the other 4 people, they’re out having fun without you.

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Sarcasm Jokes

T his guy was walking down the street and this hоокеr says, “Say, wanna have a good time?”
“Sure”, he says and they were off to the nearest motel.
She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her.
She says, “Is thi the first рussy you seen since you crawled out of one?”
The guy says:
“Nope, just the first one I’ve seen big enough to crawl back into.”

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Sarcasm Jokes

When I found out that my toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked.

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Sarcasm Jokes