Sarcasm Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

You’ve found yourself a real trophy wife, I told my pal.
I could see that she was tattooed with all the names of the previous winners.

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Sarcasm Jokes

Himalayan sea salt we just got says it was created 250 million years ago. Label says exp date is 2016. Guess they dug it up just in time!

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Sarcasm Jokes

I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…. he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’
So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which fсuкing one are you?’
And then the fсuкing fight started…..

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Sarcasm Jokes

The hotel has a live band and my favourite song is "We're going for a break now, we'll be back later".

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Sarcasm Jokes Hotel Jokes

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

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Sarcasm Jokes

My teacher said, “Are you chewing gum?” …
I said, “Do I look like chewing gum to you?”

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Sarcasm Jokes

Ladies - want that flawless skin look?
Learn how to use Photoshop properly then.

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Sarcasm Jokes

Facebook, making people who would’nt talk in the street wish each other Happy Birthday since 2004.

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Facebook Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

T he grizzled old sea captain was quizzing a young, tyro naval student. “What steps would you take if a sudden storm came up on the starboard?”
“I’d throw out an anchor, sir.”
“What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?”
“I’d throw out another anchor, sir.”
“But what if a third storm sprang up forward?”
“I’d throw out another anchor, captain.”
“Just a minute, son. Where in the world are you getting all these anchors?”
“From the same place you’re getting all your storms, sir.

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Sarcasm Jokes

I’m not saying my wife has a loud fаrт..
But she’ll never be hit by a ship.

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Sarcasm Jokes

What is the difference between Fosters вееr and a сliтоris?
A сliтоris only tastes like рiss for a second.

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Sarcasm Jokes

I’ve just bought a Malaysian airlines model plane kit..
When I opened the box and saw all the pieces, I thought “Great, some сunт’s already done it”.

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Sarcasm Jokes

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

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Sarcasm Jokes

I was in a bookshop and really lit up when I saw a book called “Living on £4 a Day”.
The fuскеr cost £12.95.

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Sarcasm Jokes

The second Fifty shades of grey film is set to be the sexiest film ever, unless you’re Welsh in which case it’s the Shawn the Sheep movie.

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Sarcasm Jokes

Whilst on a helicopter trip in Miami,
My wife asked the pilot
‘Whats the name of that place around here that’s named after a shape,
Where planes disappear without a trace?’
‘I think you must mean the Bermuda triangle’, He replied.
I said ‘I’ll think you’ll find that it’s the Pentagon’.

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Sarcasm Jokes

I’ve invented a new Kings of Leon smoke alarm.
Instead of just beeping it goes,Whooooooooooooooooooohhhoooooooooooo your house is on fire.

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Sarcasm Jokes

People with 1 syllable names fuскing ruin the happy birthday song.

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Sarcasm Jokes

OK, I got a flat tire and pulled off the roadway to change it. Sтuрid bloke wanders up and says “Did your tire go flat?” ….
….
I said, “No, I was just driving along and the other three just swelled up.”

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Sarcasm Jokes

I was outside smoking when a posh gentleman came over and asked for a cigarette.
As we stood puffing away together I turned and said, “You should give that up, you know. It’s a disgusting habit.”
He said, “Smoking?”
I said, “Begging.”

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Sarcasm Jokes