School jokes, Teacher Jokes

The re's this black kid that goes to school and realizes teachers treat him differently than the white kids. So, he goes home, paints himself white and shows his dad. His dad beats the crud outta him.
He shows his mother, "Hey Ma, Look! I'm white!" He gets beat by his mom too. Lastly, he shows his Grandmother, "Grandma, Look! I'm white! She beats him badly with her cane and sends him to his room. Later, his dad comes into his room and asks, "Son, did you learn anything out of this?" And the boy replies, "Duh! I've only been white for an hour and I already hate three niggеrs!"

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So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it.
One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is."
She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her раnтiеs.
After class is over and the studentsclear out, Johnny makes his guess.
"Blue."
"Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear.
"Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out.
When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear.
His dad exclaims: "That mother fuскеr! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your рussy before the end of the day!"

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Little Johnny Jokes Car and driving jokes School Jokes Money jokes Dad Jokes

Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, "Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?"
Little Johnny smiles proudly, "No Miss, there's no need, my mom cooks really well."

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Food Jokes

Chuck Norris went to school so he could be studied.

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Chuck Norris Jokes School Jokes

Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America.
Shamu: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America?
Ramu: Shamu!

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USA Jokes School Jokes

What's a skunk's favourite game in school?
Show and smell.

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School Jokes Animal Jokes

It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
(The Fast and The Furious)
It doesn't matter if you pass the semester by getting 40% or 95%.
Passing's passing.

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School Jokes

The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants - one of which would get the job.
The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York.
A nice young man, but a bit timid.
Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!"
Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself.
"He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him.
He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know.
Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself that's an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education."
Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where did you get your financial education?"
"Oh," replied Jim " at Yale."
"That's very good, excellent. You're hired! Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?"
Jim answered "I don't care. Yimi or Mr. Yonson."

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Banker Jokes Boss Jokes

Joe: What’s the king of all school supplies?
Moe: I don’t know. What?
Joe: The ruler.

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School Jokes

Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?
A: Because they need their cars for Sеx Ed the other three days a week!

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Sex Jokes Car and driving jokes School Jokes

Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher?
Cheryl: I don’t know.
Phil: He has only one pupil.

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School Jokes

An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like “it’s an elevator not a lift” and “it’s сhiрs not crisps” etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted “they’re schools, not shooting ranges”.

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School Jokes USA Jokes American Jokes

A lecturer who was drunк walked in a class.
Ater few minutes he wanted to urinate, he ran out and open a zip slowly, so that he may urinate.
After urinating, that's when he realized that the zip he opened was for a jacket.

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School Jokes Dirty jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Stupid Jokes

In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class.
Everybody writes except little John.
The teacher asks him: John, why aren’t you writing?
I’m exhausted because of sеx.
That should not be a problem, write with your left hand.

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Sex Jokes

Heres my only thing with Harry Potter... They go to this school, and they take classes like Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions and Divination, but they should be taking math also, right?
Why are there no math teachers at Hogwarts? Or history, or geography? They're getting tested on Care of Magical Creatures -- never heard of the Holocaust.

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Harry Potter Jokes School Jokes

Mary can't stand Sunday school, but her brother William doesn't have a problem with it. So one day in Sunday school, Mary thinks, "The hеll with it," and decides to go to sleep. The teacher sees this and asks Mary a question to keep her awake.
"Mary, who created the heavens and the earth?"
William, who is sitting behind Mary, pokes her in the вuтт with his pencil. Mary wakes up and shouts, "God almighty!" And the teacher says, "Yes. That's correct, Mary."
Mary goes back to sleep and the teacher asks her another question.
"Who died on the cross for our sins?" William pokes Mary again. She wakes up and shouts, "Jesus Сhrisт!"
Once again, she goes back to sleep. This time the teacher asks, "Mary, what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"
William pokes her again. Mary wakes up and shouts, "If you don't stop poking me with that thing, I'm gonna break it off!"

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Gross Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes God Jokes

Little Johnny's teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense and detail.
Little Johnny says, "De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Animal Jokes

Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: They live in schools.

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School Jokes Animal Jokes

1.
Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!2. Just call me milk, I'll do your body good. 3. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock. 4. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you. 5. That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too. 6. I'd like to sсrеw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it. 7. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous. 8. Is that Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants. 9. If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon. 10. Baby, you must be tired cuz you have been running through my mind all night!!

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School Jokes Dirty jokes

Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”
Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”
Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”
Patrick, “What school?”

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Kids Jokes School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dark Humor Jokes