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School Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
As a photographer, imagine my delight when I got a job to photograph pupils at a predominantly Chinese school.
I made a fortune, and only had to take one photo.
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School Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes
What are dentists?
People who failed medical school!
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School Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes
News: A schoolgirl who jumped out of a car just before it rolled off a cliff said she is “so lucky” to be alive.
So that’s the best women can do, getting out of the slowly moving car before it’s destroyed by a 250m fall…
Turn the steering wheel love.
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Jokes about Women School Jokes News and Politics Jokes Sexist Jokes
Boy: Dad, I got expelled from school.
Dad: WHAT?!?! WHY?!
Boy: A kid said "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."
Dad: So?
Boy: So I threw a dictionary at him.
Dad: That's my boy.
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School Jokes Kids Jokes Dad Jokes
When the teacher told us to take a break I said can I take a break from school
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School Jokes Dark Humor Jokes
The professor said, “Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow for the midterm exam. I might consider something like a car crash, or a death in the family, but that’s all.”
A student in the back of the room asked “What if I am suffering from complete sеxuаl exhaustion?”
The whole class laughed, but was silenced when the professor said, “Well, I guess you will have to write the exam with your other hand.”
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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes
Little Johnny was late for class, and when he saw that the door was already closed, he opened it and went into the classroom tentatively. He very quietly shut the door and tiptoed to his seat hoping not to get the teacher after him. This upset the teacher, who said him, "Johnny, is this how your father would have come in - late and sneaking to his seat? Go out and try it again, and get it right this time!"
So, Little Johnny left the room and shut the door behind him quietly, as he'd come in. Then a moment later, he flung open the door with a clatter and stomped back into the room. He slammed the door behind him, "So Honey, didn't expect ME, didya?"
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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny was learning about government at school so his teacher told him to ask they're parents what the government is. Little Johnny asked his dad what the government was and his dad said that there is the president, congress, work force, people and the future. He explained that dad is president, mom is the congress, the maid is the work force, he is the people and his brother is the future. Johnny still didn't get it so his dad asked him to sleep and maybe by tomorrow he'll know what the government is. In the middle of the night little Johnny woke up because he heard his brother crying. He found out that he had pooed in his pants so he went to ask for help. His mom was asleep so he went downstairs to find his dad. His dad was having sеx with the maid. "Now I know what the government is, the congress is asleep, the president is sсrеwing the works force, know one cares about the people and the future is full of сrар.
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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes
The teacher asked Little Johnny why he brought his cat to school. …
…
Little Johnny replied, “Because my dad told my mom he’s going to eat that рussy when the kids go to school…. I’m trying to save my cat!”
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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Dad Jokes
What do you call a group of fish jumping rope?
Skipping School.
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School Jokes
You do comedy when you're like me. When you're Swedish and black, and you look like a Puerco Rican, and you mom's a Jehovah's Witness, who loves country western music, sends your black and white аss to an Irish Catholic school -- you've got some problems, right guys?
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School Jokes Kids Jokes
The day before my high school graduation, the principal called an assembly. He wanted to say farewell informally, he explained, as he reviewed our years together.
There was hardly a dry eye among us as he concluded, "We will remember you, and hope you will remember us. More importantly, we want you to remember each other. I want all of you to meet in this very auditorium 25 years from today."
There was a moment of silence. Then a thin voice piped up, "What time?"
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School Jokes
At school I had the nickname ‘Slugger’
I wasn’t hard or anything, I just used to pull the shells off snails.
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School Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes
Harry came home from Sunday school and asked his mother, “Do people really come from dust?” “In a way said,” said his mother. “And do they go back to dust?”
“Yes, in a way.” She replied. “Well, mother, I looked under my bed, and somebody’s either coming or going.”
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School Jokes Kids Jokes
While I was dining out with my children, a man came over to our table and we started talking. He asked where my kids go to school. I told him we home-schooled them. With a raised eyebrow, he asked if my husband is the sole breadwinner for our family.
I said,
"No, I also work, out of our home."
Then, noticing our two-month-old son, he mentioned that his daughter had just had a baby, and he wondered what hospital our son was born in.
"He was born at home," I answered.
The man looked at me and then said,
"Wow, you don't get out much, do you?"
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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes
Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?
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School Jokes
Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?
Pupil: Because it can’t sit down!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school
Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Pupil: That’s not fair!
You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!
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School Jokes Kids Jokes Math Jokes
Apparently, when the Queen was at school, her strongest subject was the Gym teacher.
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School Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes
(Dad) I just got an invitation to my thirty year High School class reunion. I don’t think I’m going to attend.
(Son) Dad isn’t it true that each year the graduating class is larger than the year before.
(Dad) Yes, that’s generally how it works. By the time you graduate son the graduation class should be double of what it was last year.
(Son) My point exactly, based on that I really think you should attend.
(Dad) What point?
(Son) I just did the math in my head and it just wouldn’t be fair to the other two graduates if you missed it.
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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dad Jokes Math Jokes
Ever since I took geometry at school, my life has turned around 360 degrees.
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School Jokes Life Jokes
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