School jokes, Teacher Jokes

Apparently, when the Queen was at school, her strongest subject was the Gym teacher.

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(Dad) I just got an invitation to my thirty year High School class reunion. I don’t think I’m going to attend.
(Son) Dad isn’t it true that each year the graduating class is larger than the year before.
(Dad) Yes, that’s generally how it works. By the time you graduate son the graduation class should be double of what it was last year.
(Son) My point exactly, based on that I really think you should attend.
(Dad) What point?
(Son) I just did the math in my head and it just wouldn’t be fair to the other two graduates if you missed it.

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dad Jokes Math Jokes

Ever since I took geometry at school, my life has turned around 360 degrees.

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School Jokes Life Jokes

Little johnny's teacher was warned before the start of school to never make a bet with him. she understood. school started and little johnny bet his teacher 50$ that he could guess what color underware she had on. she said " ok after class come to to me and tell me your guess. he said ok. during class the teacher slipped out to the bathroom and removed her underware. after class little johnny told his teacher his quess. he said blue. she said nope i aint got none on. she hiked up her skirt to show him. he said ok here is your money, but its fine i bet my dad 100$ that i could see your рussy by the end of the day.

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School Jokes Money jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dad Jokes

Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to school?
He wanted a higher education.

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes

Little johnny came from school one night to hear noises coming from his perants bedroom and he walked in to see his dad on top of his mom and he asked them what they were doing they replied baking a cake little johnny said to his pearants were you baking cakes last night as well they said yess little johnny replied: because i licked the icing off the couch

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk about
The world. After her talk she offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is. “Kenneth,” he says
And what is your question, Kenneth?” she asks.
I have three questions,” he says.
“1st - whatever happened in Benghazi?
2nd - why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
And, 3rd - whatever happened to the missing six-billion-dollars while you were Secretary
Of State?”
Just then the веll rings for recess. Hillary informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume Hillary says, “Okay, where were we? Oh, that’s right, question time. Who has a
Question?”
A different boy - little Johnny - puts his hand up.
Hillary points to him and asks him what his name is. “Johnny,” he says.
“And what is your question, Johnny?” she asks.
“I have five questions,” he says.
“1st - whatever happened in Benghazi?
2nd - why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
3rd - whatever happened to the missing six-billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?
4th - why did the recess веll go off 20 minutes early?”
And 5th - where’s Kenneth?”…

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Secretary Jokes

It was the toughest experience of my life.
First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis.
Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy.
These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis. I completely lost my memory for a while. I know I had diabetes and acute ingestion, besides gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis.
Realizing that perhaps I might do better with another doctor, I made an appointment at new medical office. The receptionist had me fill out forms that included my medical history.
I don't know how I pulled through it. It was the hardest spelling test I've ever had.

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

H e’s the only son of Awh Schitt and Oh Schitt. Awh Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Oh Schitt, the owner of the Kneedeep Schitt Inn.
Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. They produced six children. Holy Schitt, their first, passed on shortly after birth.
Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, and another son, Bull Schitt. Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
Dip Schitt married Lotta Schitt, and they have a son, Chicken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt Married the Happens brothers.
The Schitt-Happens children are Dog Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Horace Schitt.
Bull Schitt just married a spicey number, Pisa Schitt, and they are awaiting the arrival of Baby Schitt.
Now you know… Jack Schitt

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

Mom: get up Liam, you will be late for school
Liam: but I don't wanna go, all the teachers and students hate me
Mom: you have to go
Liam: give me one reason why I should go
Mom: your 35, and your the principal

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School Jokes

I really have no use for the FBI, the CIA, the FCC, the FDA and all those three letter government agencies that intrude on our lives claiming they will make things better. Usually it’s the other way around.
Most of all I feel contempt for the EPA, the “Environmental Protection Agency” that decreed toilet manufacturers redesign their water systems to flush on 1.6 gallons of water or less… Half the water means сrар (figuratively) if it means twice the flush… which it does… and three flushes if someone drops a big enough deuce.
But the kids of today are missing out on one of life’s boyhood pleasures that we rarely told anyone about because of the punishment that would follow: The Swirlie.
The target or mark was usually a crybaby kid in first or second grade. By advance planning, three, four, five of us in 5th and 6th grade would lure him to the boy’s bathroom, tip him upside down and dunk him in a flushing toilet. It was almost worth getting caught as the little kid begged and shrieked as his hair went ’round and ’round in the water, swirling in the bowl as we laughed our аssеs off.
Alas, a childhood rite of passage no longer exists thanks to the “guvvamint” and their green rules.
I fondly remember little Dudley, squirming, shrieking, blubbering and all that soaking wet hair… Priceless!!!
(And it was only a 3 day suspension.)

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School Jokes Kids Jokes

A young boy is doing poorly in math at public school. His mother decides to send him to a private Catholic school to rectify the situation.
Lo and behold, after a semester in the new private Catholic school, the boy’s grades were straight A’s, even in math!
Surprised, his mother asked him how he liked his new school.
“Oh, it’s all right, I guess,” he replies.
“They must be teaching you some new tricks!”
“Not really.”
“Then what do you think is making the difference in your math grades?”
“Well”, he says, “as soon as I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they meant business!”

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Religion jokes School Jokes Math Jokes

The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor's study and asked for help.
The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment. Finally he looked serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock. The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor," she said.
"It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling."

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Religion jokes School Jokes

A schoolteacher's son brought his report card home. The father said; let's see what you have accomplished. He opens the report and to his dismay sees all bad grades. What do you have to say about this Johnny? Well dad at lease you know I'm not cheating.

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dad Jokes

Son:
"Dad, aren't you getting ready to office today?"
Dad:
"I am working from home today. Get ready soon otherwise you will be late to school."
Son:
"Dad, I am not going to school today."
Dad:
"Why?"
Son:
"I am studying from home today."

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Dad Jokes

Why did Sally miss school
Her mom died

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School Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a nature history lesson.
"Worker ants," she told them, "can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?"
One child was ready with the answer, "They don't have a union?"

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Food Jokes

I'm going to miss Bill Clinton, but you know we'll still see him, you know we will. Because, remember, like, the losers in high school that would graduate and still drive around the campus at noon? That's going to be Bill Clinton at the White House.

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School Jokes News and Politics Jokes

What does school stand for:
S: six
C: cruel
H: hours
O: of
O: our
L: lives

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School Jokes

I can't count how many times I failed maths at school.

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School Jokes