School jokes, Teacher Jokes

Isn't that -- at my age -- isn't that illegal? I mean, isn't that like me hanging around in front of a grammar school with a van and a kitten? Dirтy.

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When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad.
He said,
"I want my daughter back by 8:15."
I said,
"The middle of August? Cool!"

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dad Jokes

There is this African-American kid that goes to school and notices that the teachers treat the white kids better than the kids of color.
So he goes home and paints himself white and shows his dad.
Hey dad look im white! His dad kicks his аss, and says alright go show your mother.
Hey mom look im white! His mom beats the sh1t out of him then tells him to go show his grandma.
Hey grandma look im white, she beats his аss (Big Momma style) and sends him to his room.
About an hour later all the family comes to his room and says have you learned anything from this?
The kid says yeah ive learned I have only been white for an hour and I already hate 3 black people.

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Dad Jokes

*everyone in class talking at once*
Teacher: *yell's* WHY DO I HEAR TALKING
James: *yell's* CAUSE YOU HAVE EAR'S YOU DUMB АSS ВIТСН!
Teacher: James's can you please step outside of the class for a minute
*kid's in the back with air horn's make MLG horn sound's*
I legit no joke did this at school

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

An ironworker nonchalantly walked the narrow beam fifteen floors above the city sidewalk. Though strong winds were blowing a heavy rain, the worker showed no fear whatever. When he came down to the sidewalk, a man who had been watching him from ground level went over to him and said, “I was really impressed watching you up there. You were so calm. How did you get a job like this?” “Well, as a matter of fact,” replied the ironworker, “I used to drive a school bus, until my nerves gave out.”

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Men jokes

A little boy came home eating a big candy bar. Seeing the candy bar, his mother remembered he had already spent all his allowance money. Surprised, she asked him where he got it.
"I bought it at the store with the dollar you gave me," he said.
"But that dollar was for Sunday School," his mother replied.
Smiling, the boy said,
"I know, Mom, but the Pastor met me at the door and got me in for free!"

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School Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

Little Kelvin's darkest day was when he was asked by his mathematics teacher to solve a problem on the board. The question was asking for the answer to 2+3.
He knew he couldn't solve that so he glanced towards his bright friend for help. His friend willing to help but fearing to speak out loud, showed him his palm as a silent indication to the answer.
So little Kelvin drew the palm.

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School Jokes Friendship Jokes Math Jokes

A student in chemistry class was instructed to create a new substance by mixing some special ingredient with water. But the student chose the wrong ingredient and the teacher realized mixing it with water would create an explosion.
He stopped the student and asked him to first stir the water in the bucket for five minutes before adding the ingredient. The student wanted to know what that would accomplish.
The teacher answered, "It will give me time to get away."

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School Jokes

How do you tell if you're making love to a nurse, a schoolteacher, or an airline stewardess?
A nurse says:
"This won't hurt a bit." A schoolteacher says,
"We're going to have to do this over and over
Again until we get it right." An airline stewardess says,
"Just hold this over your mouth and nose, and breath
Normally."

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School Jokes Dirty jokes

A Sunday school teacher wanted to stimulate her first grade class as the lesson started by asking them, "Do you want to go to heaven today?" All but one of the ten children raised their hands enthusiastically. Everyone but Susie.
"Susie, don't you want to go to heaven?" she asked.
"Yes, I do." Susie replied
"Well, why did you not raise your hand when I asked if you want to go to heaven?"
"I really want to go to heaven, but not with these guys," she replied.

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Religion jokes School Jokes

One man asked a schoolboy, "How old is your father?"
The boy replied, "He is 8 years old."
Man:
"What?"
Boy:
"Because he became a father when I was born 8 years ago."

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes

In school, a teacher goes up to student named Johnny who is chewing gum. The teacher asks him, "Are you chewing gum?"
The student replies,
"No, I'm Johnny."

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School Jokes

Sсrеwing someone from work is great unless you work in a primary school.

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Dirty jokes

Teacher: At the end of this ruler is a sтuрid student (pointing at student).
Narrator: The student got detention for say "Which end?"

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School Jokes

Two dogs talking...
Fido: I can't go to dog obedience school tonight.
Spot: Why not?
Fido: My master ate my homework.

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School Jokes Animal Jokes

A neighbor asked Ollie why the Norwegian government doesn’t draft men until age 45. …
…
Ollie Explained, “Dey vant to get dem right otta of high school.”

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School Jokes Men jokes Stupid Jokes

Aughter:
"Mommy Mommy, This Kid Jeff Told Me To Climb The School Flag Pole And I Did And He Gave Me Five Dollars!"
:Mother:
"Sweetie, He Just Wanted To See Your Underwear"
The Next Day...
Aughter:
"Mommy Mommy, Jeff Told Me To Climb The Flag Pole, And I didn't Wear My Underwear..."
:Mom:
"....."

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

I is very proud dat I went 2 school in da UK. I fink out of all 17 countries in da world UK is da best.

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School Jokes Political Jokes

I went to correspondence school. That really suскеd -- no school spirit, our school color was manila.

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School Jokes

“How did school go today? a mother asked her little boy. “Fine”, the little fellow replied. “We had a new teacher and she wanted to know if I had any brothers and I told her I was an only child”. What did she say?” his mother asked. “The teacher said, “Thank goodness”

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School Jokes Kids Jokes