School Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Two southern ladies are sitting at the country club by the pool. The first southern lady says,
"When I had my first child, my husband bought me a diamond ring." The second lady says,
"Well, isn't that nice."
The first lady says,
"When my second child was born, my husband took me on a cruise." The second lady says,"well isn't that nice The first lady continues, "When my third child was born, my husband took me on a trip around the world." And the second lady says, once again, "Well, isn't that nice."
The first lady asks, "Well, what did your husband get you when your first child was born?" The second lady repiles, "My husband sent me to finishing school." The first lady asks, "Well why did he do that?" And the second lady says,
"So I could learn to say ‘Well isn't that nice,’ instead of ‘F**K YOU’!"

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School Jokes Men vs Women Jokes

Yo' Mama is so old, Cleopatra signed her high school yearbook, "BFF."

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School Jokes Insult Jokes

Teacher, "Martha, come to the blackboard and tell us on the world map where America is."
Martha point to America correctly.
Teacher, "Good. Now John, you tell us who discovered America"
John, "Martha just did"

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School Jokes USA Jokes

Teacher: If you had 20p in one trouser pocket and 60p in the other, what do you have?
Pupil: Someone else’s trousers, miss.

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School Jokes

Student: I would love for you to teach me a foreign language.
Teacher: Certainly. French, German, Russian, Italian, Spanish?
Student: Oh, which is the most foreign?

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School Jokes

The students in my third-grade class were bombarding me with questions about my newly pierced ears.
"Does the hole go all the way through?"
"Yes."
"Did it hurt?"
"Just a little."
"Did they stick a needle through your ears?"
"No, they used a special gun."
Silence followed, and then one solemn voice called out, "How far away did they stand?"

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School Jokes

Me:
"May I go to the restroom."
Teacher:
"What for?"
Me:
"To Open The Chamber Of Secrets, What the hеll do you think?

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School Jokes

Teacher: Class, you have 30 minutes to write a composition on the subject of
Baseball
Jonah: Here’s my paper
Teacher: Jonah, you spent only one minute writing your essay
Lets hear what you wrote
Jonah: Game called off on account of rain

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School Jokes

Two verbs, three adjectives, three nouns and a conjunction appeared in court. They’re due to be sentenced next week.

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School Jokes

On my first day teaching remedial English to inmates, I was very nervous to be in a prison classroom.
My students seemed uncomfortable as well, many of them hadn’t been near a classroom in decades.
I began class by nervously asking, “Who can tell me what a sentence is?”
The class burst out laughing. That broke the ice.

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School Jokes

"Simon, if I had eight apples in my right hand and ten apples in my left hand, what would I have?”
“Huge hands, sir.”

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School Jokes

A teacher sees a lad entering the classroom - his hands were dirтy.
She stopped him and said, “John, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?”
Smiling the boy replied, “I think I’d be too polite to mention it.”

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School Jokes

A rather strict English teacher also had the responsibility of teaching “homemaking,” as home economics used to be called. The teacher noticed a student carefully applying lipstick and powder, rather than doing her home ec lesson.
“Jenny,” said the teacher, “you pay more attention to your makeup than you do to your homemaking lessons.”
“Well, said Jenny, “before I can home make, I have to catch someone with whom.”

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School Jokes

The teacher asked little Peter; "If I have 5 mangoes in one hand and five mangoes in the other, what do I have?”
" Big Hands, " said Peter.

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School Jokes

The teacher was warning the class about the dangers of going to in cold weather insufficiently clad. “There was one a boy,” he said, “who was so eager to go out and play with his sled that he didn’t put a coat or scarf on; he caught a chill, the chill led to pneumonia and he died!”
The teacher paused to allow the moral of this story to sink in, when a small voice said, “What happened to the sled ….?”

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School Jokes

"Frank, if you have 20 dollars and Bill takes away 14. What would you have?” said the teacher.
"A fight!” answers Frank.

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School Jokes

In a class room exam, John was peeping into the answer sheet of his neighbor.
The teacher shouted, “No cheating John!”
John replied, “I am not cheating. I am copying. There is a difference!”

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School Jokes Cheating Jokes

A teacher was telling her class about plant names that have the word "dog" in them, such as dog-rose, dogwood, dog violet.
She asked the class if they could name another flower with the preface "dog".
Steven raised his hand and said,
"Sure Miss Jones. How about a 'collie' flower?"

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School Jokes Dog jokes

The teacher says, “I wish you’d pay a little attention Mary.”
“I am paying as little as I can Mrs. Веll,” said Mary.

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School Jokes

A teacher called upon the classroom to make sentences with words previously chosen.
The teacher smiled when Pete, a slow learner, raised his hand to participate during the challenge of making a sentence with the words “Defeat,”
“Defense,”
“Deduct,” and “Detail.”
Pete stood thinking for a while, all eyes focused on him while his classmates awaited his reply. Smiling, he the proudly said, “Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail.”

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School Jokes