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Вицове за секс, 18+ Sex Jokes Sexwitze Chistes de sexo Русский Blagues de sexe Barzellette sul Sesso Σεξουαλικά ανέκδοτα Сексуални вицеви Türkçe Анекдоти про секс 18+ Português Dowcipy o seksie 18+ Svenska Seks moppen Sex jokes Sex-vitser Seksivitsit Szexi viccek Româna Vtipy o sexu a milování Lietuvių Anekdotes par attiecībām un seksu Seksi vicevi
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Sex Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
People should have the option to make a personal choice!
I have frequently not had sеx due to lots of peoples’ personal choices.
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Sex Jokes
Yo mama is so fат that when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet.
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Sex Jokes Yo Momma Jokes
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
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Sex Jokes Jokes about Women Wine jokes Restaurant Jokes
Rаре is such a harsh word - why not call it surprise sеx?
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Sex Jokes
Мъж и жена гледат психологично предаване. Sagt der Ehemann zu seiner Frau: Муж: Может ли человек одновременно быть счастливым и грустным? Мъж и жена си пийват ракийката и си приказват. Мъжът пита: Ein Mann sagt zu seiner Frau: A man comes home and tells his wife to tell him something that is going to laugh and cry. Die Frau kommt spät nach Hause, ihr Mann sieht sich gerade eine Quizsendung im TV an. Le dice un hombre a su mujer: -Te apuesto 50 euros a que no eres capaz de decirme algo que sea capaz de alegrarme y entristecerme a la vez. A lo que ella responde: -De tu grupo de amigos, el que la... Un homme dit à sa femme:  - Dis moi quelque chose qui me fasse à la fois plaisir et qui m'énerve.  La femme réfléchit et dit:  - De tous tes potes c'est toi qui a la plus grosse. Mies ja vaimo istuivat katsomassa TV-ohjelmaa, joka käsitteli psykologiaa ja sekoitettuja tunteita, kuten olla samanaikaisesti onnellinen ja surullinen. Mies kääntyi vaimon puoleen ja sanoi:... Чоловік розмовляє з дружиною: — Б'юся об заклад, ти не зможеш мені сказати в одному реченні таке, щоб одночасно мене порадувати і роздосадувати! — В тебе найбільший член з усіх твоїх друзів!
A husband says to his wife, "I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time." The wife thinks about it for a few moments and replies, "Your diск is вiggеr than your brothers."
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Relationship Jokes Sex Jokes
Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, “mark, what would you like to eat?” Mark said, “I’d like some fuскing potato’s.” SMACK! mother slapped mark. She then asked suzie, “what would you like to eat?"
"Well, I’d like some fuскing potatos” said suzie SMAACK! she slapped suzie. “Ok. Johnny, what would you like to eat?” Well… I sure as hеll dont want no fuскing potatos.
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Sex Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes
I hate when Doctors asks questions like: "Are you sexually active?"
Depends on What you mean by "active".
There are plenty of "active" volcanoes that haven't gone off in over 50 years.
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Sex Jokes
There was an old couple laying in bed. The man turns and tells the woman, "If you want to have sеx, pull on my diск once. If you don't want to have sеx, pull on my diск one hundred times."
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Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes
A woman is having a hard time getting her tomatoes to ripen so she goes to her neighbor with her problem. The neighbor says,
"All you have to do is go out at midnight and dance around in the garden nакеd for a few minutes, and the tomatoes will become so embarrassed, they will blush bright red." The woman goes out at midnight and dances around her garden nакеd for a few minutes. The next morning, the neighbor comes over to the woman's house and asks the woman if her tomatoes have turned red. The woman says "No, they're still green, but I noticed the cucumbers grew four inches!"
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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes
A guy and girl had sеx poem competition.
Guy:
"Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl:
"Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
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Insult Jokes Sex Jokes
A gynecologist notices that a new patient is nervous. While putting on the latex gloves, he asks her if she knows how they make latex gloves. The patient says no. The doctor says,
"There is a plant in Mexico full of latex that people of various hand sizes dip their hands into and let them dry. She does not сrаск a smile, but later she laughs. The doctor says,
"What's so funny?" She says,
"I'm imagining how they make condoms."
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Medical and Doctor Jokes Sex Jokes
A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies,
"No. I work for a соndом company. These are customer complaints."
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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes
"Daddy, where did I come from?" seven-year-old Rachel asks. It is a moment for which her parents have carefully prepared. They take her into the living room, get out several other books, and explain all they think she should know about sеxuаl attraction, affection, love, and reproduction. Then they both sit back and smile contentedly. "Does that answer your question?" the mom asks. "Not really," the little girl says. "Judy said she came from Detroit. I want to know where I came from."
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Sex Jokes
On hearing that her elderly grandfather has just passed away, Katie goes straight to her grandparents' house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asks how her grandfather has died, her grandmother replies,
"He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie tells her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sеx will surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear. Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. It was nice, slow, and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the ding and out on the dоng." She pauses, wipes away a tear and then continues, "And if that dамnеd ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"
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Sex Jokes
I saw a young teenage kid on the subway today. He had a Mohawk hairstyle dyed yellow, green, and red. He caught me staring at him and in a nasty voice asked,
"What the fuск are you looking at?" I replied, "Sorry, but when I was about your age I had sеx with a parrot. I thought maybe you were my son."
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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes Sex Jokes
If you force sеx on a рrоsтiтuте is it rаре or shoplifting?
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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Sеx is good, sеx is fine.
Doggy style or 69,
Just 4 fun or getting paid,
Everyone loves getting laid,
So if u want me in the sack,
Lick ur lips n kickass me back.
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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes
A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordan Ramsey’s F-king cooking show!
Husband:STOP WATCHING THAT F-KING SНIТ!!! YOU CAN’T COOK TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!!!
Wife: so what??! You watch роrn don’t you!!!
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Sex Jokes
For pedophiles, watching teen роrn must be like watching mature роrn.
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Sex Jokes
Why is Cinderella still a virgin?
Because she runs away from all the ваlls.
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Sex Jokes
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