Ugly Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
I couldn’t take my eyes off this girl in the bar the other night. She had the most fantastic body I’d ever seen. It was only when she turned around though, that I saw how ugly her face was. Feeling a bit let down I got up to go the toilet, and by the time I got back, she had left.
Later on my mate passed me a piece of paper and said, “Oh… I forgot. That lass at the bar asked me to give you this.” On it she’d written, “I saw you looking at me earlier.. Why don’t you get in touch sometime,” followed by her phone number.
The most amazing thing was that she had signed the note, “from Horseface.”
I couldn’t help but admire how she’d come to terms with the way she looked in such a self-deprecating and humorous way, so I decided to text her and ask for a date.
“Hi Horseface,” I wrote, “I’d love to meet up sometime. Next Tuesday OK?”
I’d just fired off the text when my mate saw what I was doing and said, “You’re not actually replying to that are you? Fuскing hеll, Dave! I only wrote Horseface on the bottom so you’d know it was that fuскing ugly one!”
Ugly Jokes