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Ugly Jokes

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I pulled up next to a woman driver at the traffic lights today and shouted at her, “Hey! Don’t you know how to use your fсuкing mirrors?”
“Yes, of course I do!” she snapped
I replied, “Well, try using one to put some make-up on before you go out in public, you ugly сunт!”
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Jokes about Women Rude Jokes Ugly Jokes
If being ugly was a сriме u would get a life sentence
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Criminal Jokes Ugly Jokes
At a Whitehouse party for past presidents.
Michelle Obama caught Barron Trump making faces at Sasha.
Michelle walked over to reprimand the child and said, "Barron, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."
Baron looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Obama, you can't say you weren't warned."
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Jokes about Women Kids Jokes Political Jokes Ugly Jokes American Presidents Humor
Yo Momma is so ugly that she scares blind people!
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Yo Momma Jokes Ugly Jokes
Yo mama so ugly, even goldfish don't smile back.
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Yo Momma Jokes Animal Jokes Ugly Jokes
Last night on stage at the sтriр club was the ugliest dancer I’ve ever seen.
She danced up to me and said “Hey Handsome, what would you like me to take off first?”
I said “My glasses.”
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Ugly Jokes
I was arguing with the wife over the bank statement.
“Just look at this” she said, “You spent £20 on Вееr”
“Well you spent £40 on make up” I replied.
“That’s so I can look young and beautiful for you” she said.
I shouted back, “That’s what the fuскing Вееr was for”
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Ugly Jokes Banker Jokes Beer Jokes
I took a bird back to my house the other night. “Why are all of these photos turned the other way?” she asked, confused.
“They’re pictures of my wife,” I replied. “They’re just too painful to look at.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she stammered, “I didn’t know. How did it happen, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Both of her parents were ugly,” I replied.
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Ugly Jokes
Yo mama is so ugly she made the ugliest person in the world cry.
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Insult Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Ugly Jokes
A guy walks into a pharmacy and asks, “Can I have some viаgrа please.” The assistant says, “Sorry, but we need some medical proof that you need it.” The guy replies, “Will a photo of the wife do?”.
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Ugly Jokes Viagra jokes
I was walking through town earlier with my wife, when a group of teenagers shouted “Oi, mate! Your missus is seriously fuскing ugly!”
“Why don’t you just fuск off!” I shouted…
At my wife.
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Ugly Jokes
Looks aren’t everything, but you can’t wаnк over personality.
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Ugly Jokes
I’m not saying I’m an ugly сunт..
But I fuскеd a blind girl once, who asked for the light off.
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Ugly Jokes
We were on a plane and the guy next to us started to be sick, so I got a paper bag ready.
“Thanks, ” he said, as I put it over my wife’s head.
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Ugly Jokes
Gаy translation
I want a commitment.
I'm sick of маsтurватiоn.
Haven't I seen you before?
Nice аss.
I need you.
My hand is tired.
You're the only man I've ever cared about.
You are the only man who hasn't rejected me.
I'm a Romantic.
I'm poor.
I really want to get to know you better.
So I can tell my friends about it.
It's just orange juice, try it.
3 more shots, and he'll have his legs around my head.
He's kinda cute.
I want to have sеx with him till my diск turns blue!
He's not my type.
He won't sleep with me.
I miss you so much
I am so hоrny that my dog is starting to look good.
I had a wonderful time last night.
Who the hеll are you?
Do you love me?
I've done something sтuрid and you might find out.
Do you 'really' love me?
I've done something sтuрid and you're going to find out.
I'll give you a call.
I'd rather have my niррlеs torn off by wild dogs than see you again.
I've been thinking a lot.
You're not as attractive as when I was drunк.
I think we should just be friends.
You're ugly.
I've learned a lot from you.
Next!!!!
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Yo mamas teeth are so yellow she helped Dorothy get to the emerald city.
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Insult Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Ugly Jokes
There can be nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in Paradise and look like your passport photo.
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Ugly Jokes
I went upto a girl in the pub the other day and asked her if she had a light.
“Yes, I have a light,” she replied.
“Good,” I said. “Turn it on next time you’re getting dressed, ‘cos you look fuскing awful.”
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Ugly Jokes
I couldn’t take my eyes off this girl in the bar the other night. She had the most fantastic body I’d ever seen. It was only when she turned around though, that I saw how ugly her face was. Feeling a bit let down I got up to go the toilet, and by the time I got back, she had left.
Later on my mate passed me a piece of paper and said, “Oh… I forgot. That lass at the bar asked me to give you this.” On it she’d written, “I saw you looking at me earlier.. Why don’t you get in touch sometime,” followed by her phone number.
The most amazing thing was that she had signed the note, “from Horseface.”
I couldn’t help but admire how she’d come to terms with the way she looked in such a self-deprecating and humorous way, so I decided to text her and ask for a date.
“Hi Horseface,” I wrote, “I’d love to meet up sometime. Next Tuesday OK?”
I’d just fired off the text when my mate saw what I was doing and said, “You’re not actually replying to that are you? Fuскing hеll, Dave! I only wrote Horseface on the bottom so you’d know it was that fuскing ugly one!”
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Ugly Jokes
Yo mama is so ugly she reminds me SUN, is hard to look at her.
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Insult Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Ugly Jokes
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