Ugly Jokes

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Gаy translation
I want a commitment.
I'm sick of маsтurватiоn.
Haven't I seen you before?
Nice аss.
I need you.
My hand is tired.
You're the only man I've ever cared about.
You are the only man who hasn't rejected me.
I'm a Romantic.
I'm poor.
I really want to get to know you better.
So I can tell my friends about it.
It's just orange juice, try it.
3 more shots, and he'll have his legs around my head.
He's kinda cute.
I want to have sеx with him till my diск turns blue!
He's not my type.
He won't sleep with me.
I miss you so much
I am so hоrny that my dog is starting to look good.
I had a wonderful time last night.
Who the hеll are you?
Do you love me?
I've done something sтuрid and you might find out.
Do you 'really' love me?
I've done something sтuрid and you're going to find out.
I'll give you a call.
I'd rather have my niррlеs torn off by wild dogs than see you again.
I've been thinking a lot.
You're not as attractive as when I was drunк.
I think we should just be friends.
You're ugly.
I've learned a lot from you.
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I couldn’t take my eyes off this girl in the bar the other night. She had the most fantastic body I’d ever seen. It was only when she turned around though, that I saw how ugly her face was. Feeling a bit let down I got up to go the toilet, and by the time I got back, she had left.
Later on my mate passed me a piece of paper and said, “Oh… I forgot. That lass at the bar asked me to give you this.” On it she’d written, “I saw you looking at me earlier.. Why don’t you get in touch sometime,” followed by her phone number.
The most amazing thing was that she had signed the note, “from Horseface.”
I couldn’t help but admire how she’d come to terms with the way she looked in such a self-deprecating and humorous way, so I decided to text her and ask for a date.
“Hi Horseface,” I wrote, “I’d love to meet up sometime. Next Tuesday OK?”
I’d just fired off the text when my mate saw what I was doing and said, “You’re not actually replying to that are you? Fuскing hеll, Dave! I only wrote Horseface on the bottom so you’d know it was that fuскing ugly one!”
Ugly Jokes