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Ugly Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
I wish I could be ugly for one day. … …
Being ugly every day suскs.
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Ugly Jokes
Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says:
"We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he has ever seen. St. Peter chains them together and says,
"Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to the ugly woman!"
The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first guy.
The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on: a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sеxy blonde. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The guy remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
She says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
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Blonde Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Ugly Jokes
A guy goes into this bar, sits down and orders a drink.
While waiting, he sees a guy sitting at the bar who has a very big muscular body but a little tiny head.
So, he asks the guy, "How is it that you have such a huge body and a small head?"
The guy replied, "I was walking along the beach one day and I came across this bottle buried halfway in the sand. So I picked it up, brushed away the sand, and out popped this fine female genie. She said she would grant me three wishes for releasing her."
"For my first wish, I asked for ten-million dollars, and РООF right there on the sand was $10,000,00."
"For my second wish, I asked for a luxury yacht, and РООF right there on the ocean was a 90-foot yacht."
"Finally for my third wish, I asked to have sеx with the genie, but she said that genies were not allowed to indulge in that kind of activities."
So, I said, "c'mon, how about a little head?"
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Sex Jokes Money jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Genie jokes Ugly Jokes
Yo mama so ugly, people break into her house to close the curtains!
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Yo Momma Jokes Ugly Jokes
- Мамо, аз грозна ли съм? -Maman je suis moche ? - Je t'ai dis tu m'appelles pas maman en public !!
Kid: "Mom, am I ugly?"
Mom: "I told you not to call me mom in public."
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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Ugly Jokes
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her for Halloween!
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Yo Momma Jokes Halloween Jokes Ugly Jokes
Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?
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Yo Momma Jokes Halloween Jokes Ugly Jokes
Your momma is so ugly when she gets her beauty sleep she falls into a coma!
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Yo Momma Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Beauty Jokes Ugly Jokes
Yo mama so ugly when she went to sleep Freddy Krueger was scared of her.
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Yo Momma Jokes Ugly Jokes
I'm not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween, she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.
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Halloween Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Ugly Jokes
Yo mama so ugly when she looked at the sun, it turned nighttime.
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Yo Momma Jokes Ugly Jokes
Two blondes were talking together:
First: "How about your engaged Jim? Is he keeping well?"
Second: "He isn't just now my engaged."
First: Hi good news. His nose was too big and his head was bald with an ugly face!"
Second: "He is now my husband!"
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Marriage and Family Jokes Blonde Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes Ugly Jokes
Bertie comes sadly to his mommy and says, "Mom, the kids have been mean to me. They keep teasing me that my feet are too big. Please tell me honestly. Are my feet to big?"
"Of course not, Bertie. Now go put your shoes in the garage, the dinner is ready."
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Kids Jokes Ugly Jokes
Yo mama so ugly the devil is afraid of her.
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Yo Momma Jokes Ugly Jokes
Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
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Yo Momma Jokes Ugly Jokes
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her armpits look like she's got Don King in a headlock.
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Yo Momma Jokes Animal Jokes Ugly Jokes
Your mama is so ugly that I guess you can say that the genes passed down.
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Yo Momma Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Ugly Jokes
Yo mama so ugly, Instagram tagged her selfies 'explicit content'.
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Yo Momma Jokes Technology Jokes Ugly Jokes
Yo mama so ugly when she auditioned for a horror movie they sent her to a professional!
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Yo Momma Jokes Office and Work Jokes Ugly Jokes
Yo mama's so ugly that slender-man ran from her.
She's also the reason why slender-man doesn't have eyes.
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Yo Momma Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Ugly Jokes
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