Ugly Jokes

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The Bachelor's Life La chica de la lasaña y el cajero gracioso Single? Момиче пазарува в магазина и на касата: Жена пазарувала в супера. Докато оставяла нещата на лентата един пияница се приближил, огледал подробно покупките и и казал тихо: Una chica entra en un supermercado y compra lo siguiente: A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?" "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?" "Because you're really ugly," replied the man. Uma mulher passava as compras no caixa de supermercado percebeu que um bêbado examinava detalhadamente seus itens de compra: * 2 caixas de leite integral * 1 dúzia de ovos * 1 litro de suco de laranja * 1 alface americana * 1 kg de café; e * 1 pacote de bacon fatiado. Enquanto o caixa registrava,... A woman went shopping. She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk, cheese, orange juice, half of bread, bar of soap, toothpaste... All of a sudden the... Een vrouw ging naar de winkel waar ze de volgende spullen kocht : * 1 liter melk * 1 doos eieren * 1 liter fruitsap * 1 pak koffie * 1 ons ham * 1 doos Cup-a-Soup Terwijl ze haar... A woman is at a grocery store. She goes to the clerk to purchase her groceries. The clerk looks at her items and sees a carton of eggs, a gallon of milk, and a head of lettuce. He says to the... En pige lægger sine varer op ved kassen: 1 tomat, 1 lille pose kaffe, 1 frossen færdigret, 1 tærte, 1 müslibar og en frossen pizza! Manden ved kassen spørger smilende: – Single, hva? Pigen smiler... En pige vader ind i et supermarked, og køber følgende: 1 stykke sæbe 1 tandbørste 1 tube tandpasta 1 lille franskbrød 1 liter mælk 1 æble 1 banan 1 appelsin 1 liter juice 1 glas syltetøj 1 bage... A girl walks into a supermarket and buys the following: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 apple 1 banana 1 orange 1 plum 1 peach 1 grapefruit 1 tomato... En kvinna kommer in i affären och köper lite saker, hon kommer fram till kassan och lägger upp en banan, ett äpple, en tandborste, en schampoflaska, en tvål, en kam, en apelsin, en tandkräm, en...
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Prince Charles was driving around his mother’s estate when he accidentally ran over her favorite dog, a Corgi, crushing it to a pulp.
He got out of his Range Rover and sat down on the grass totally distraught.
The whole world was against him and now his mother would go ballistic.
Suddenly he noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground.
He dug it up, polished it and immediately a Genie appeared.
“You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment, ” said the Genie”
As a reward I shall grant you one wish.”
“Well, ” said the Prince, “I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this dog.”
They walk over to the splattered remains of the dog.
“Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me..?” the Prince asked.
The Genie carefully looked at the remains and shook his head.
“This body is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life.
Is there something else you would like..?”
The Prince thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos.
“I was married to this beautiful woman called Diana, ” said Prince Charles, showing the genie the first photo.
“But now I love this woman called Camilla, ” and he showed the genie the second photo.
“You see Camilla isn’t beautiful at all, so do you think you can make Camilla as beautiful as Diana..?”
The Genie studied the two photographs and after a few minutes said, “Let’s have another look at that frickin’ dog”
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