Women - Page 134

If a man is in the forest, talking to himself, with no woman around is he still wrong?

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I think female niррlеs are the only things that get hotter as they get cold

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Jokes about Women One-Liner Jokes

* If you don’t believe in оrаl sеx, keep your mouth shut.
* Opinion is like an аss hole, everyone has one.
* A mistress lies between a mister and a mattress
* Squirrel who runs up woman’s leg does not find nuts
* If you think sеx is a pain in the аss, you’re doing it wrong.
* Prostitution is a hole sale business.
* A tight dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view…

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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A man exercises by suскing his stomach in every time he sees a beautiful woman

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Jokes about Women Men jokes One-Liner Jokes

Still More Crazy Laws …
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If you are caught stealing soap, you must wash yourself until the bar of soap has been completely used up. (Arizona) …
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In Washington state, a motorist with criminal intentions must stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town. …
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If you have a mustache, it’s illegal for you to kiss a woman (Eureka, Nevada) …
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In Waynesboro, Virginia, it’s against the law for a woman to drive a car on Main Street unless her husband is walking in front of the car waving a red flag.
You can be arrested or fined for harassing Bigfoot. (Washington state)
In Massachusetts, snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
You may not fish on a camel’s back. (Idaho)

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Jokes about Women Police Officer Jokes Stupid Jokes

China has largest population not because the men are extra hоrny nor women are extra fertile but because… Their condoms are made in China.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

A woman asks her husband if he’d like some breakfast. “Bacon and eggs, perhaps a slice of toast? Maybe a nice sectioned grapefruit, and a cup of fresh coffee?” He declines. “It’s this Viаgrа,” he says, “it’s really taken the edge off my appetite.” At lunch time, she asks if he would like something. “A bowl of home made soup, maybe, with a cheese sandwich? Or how about a plate of snacks and a glass of milk?” Again he declines. “No, thanks. It’s this Viаgrа,” he says, “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.” At dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat, offering to go to the cafe and buy him a burger supper. “Or would you rather I make you a pizza from scratch? Or, how about a tasty stir fry? That’ll only take a couple of minutes…?” Once more, he declines. “Again, thanks, but it’s this Viаgrа. It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”
“Well, then”, she says, “Would you mind getting off me? I’m fсuкing STARVING!”

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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes

What are the two most important holes in a woman’s body? …..
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No!! Not those, you dirтy ваsтаrd!!!! ….
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Its her nostrils … they allow her to breathe while she’s suскing your diск.

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Jokes about Women Masturbation jokes

Man:
“Have I shown you my magic watch?” …
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Woman:
“No, what does it do?” ….
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Man:
“It tells me you are not wearing any underwear.” …
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Woman:
“Well it must be broken because I am wearing underwear!” …
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Man:
“Hmm… It must be an hour fast.”

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Jokes about Women Men jokes

What do you call a woman with no сliтоris ?
What ever you want. She isn’t going to come.

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Jokes about Women Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Little boy is in line with his dad, waiting to check out. In front of them is a really fат woman.
Little boy looks her over and turns to his daddy and says; “She is really big and fат isn’t she daddy?”
The father is embarrassed and tries to get son to quiet down.
In a few minutes the little boy yells out; “She is the biggest woman I have ever seen!”
The father is embarrassed to tears and bends over and tell his son; “We do not talk about people looking different from us, especially if they are fат. Don’t do it again.”
The little boy got the message and stood for a long time, until the woman’s beeper went off. He then yelled:
“Look out daddy, she is backing up!”

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Dad Jokes Fat Jokes

A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jeeves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening. …
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As it turned out, however, the wife wasn’t having a good time at the party, so she came home early, alone. Her husband had to stay there, as several of his important clients were there. …
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As the woman walked into her house, she saw Jeeves sitting by himself in the dining room. She called for him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom. She looked at him and smiled. “Jeeves,” she said. “Take off my dress.”
He did this carefully.
“Jeeves,” she continued. “Take off my stockings and garter.”
He silently obeyed her.
“Jeeves,” she then said. “Remove my вrа and раnтiеs. ”
As he did this, the tension continued to mount.
She then said, “Jeeves, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you’re fired!”

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes

Woman: let's watch a movie, we never do
Man: no get back in the kitchen Woman: u know women live longer than men
Man: how's that
Woman: the kitchen is we're the knives are at
Man: what movie did u want to see
Woman: exactly

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Jokes about Women Insult Jokes Men jokes

Isn’t it ironic how you ask for a woman’s hand in marriage. .
When in fact its your own hand you’ll be using once you’re married.

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes

When a newly married woman smiles, all know why, but when a ten-years married woman smiles, all wonder why.

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes

3 reasons why you should get a $100 bill tattooed onto your salami.
1. You can play with your money.
2. You can watch your money grow.
3. Every woman loves to вlоw money.

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Jokes about Women Money jokes Dirty jokes

I hate when women have roaches and act like they don't have roaches. You go to their house, they see a roach -- they act like they've never seen a roach in their own house. Roach comes out; she's like, 'Now I don't know whose roaches these is. But these are not my roaches.' I say, 'He's got two pieces of ID with your address. That's your roach. He grew up in this apartment. He on your MySpace holding your son.'

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Jokes about Women Money jokes

This woman of forty, being a rather vain person, decided she needed a face lift. With her pocketbook as large as her ego, she went to several plastic surgeons before choosing the best money could buy. The doctor assured her that he could make her look young for many years because of a new technique he used.
After the operation the doc told her that he had put a sсrеw behind each ear that she could tighten as needed to keep her fresh young look.
The woman was pleased for several years until one morning when she noticed bags under her eyes. Furiously she stormed into the doctor’s office demanding to know why there where bags under her eyes.
The doctor replied, “Lady those aren’t bags, they’re your t*ts, and if you don’t stop turning those screws you’re going to have a beard!”

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

A woman goes into the doctors office and says “Dr. I have a problem, I fаrт all the time but my farts are noiseless and they don’t smell…In fact, I have farted no less than twelve times since I arrived here!”
The doctor wrote down a prescription and said, “Take these for a week and then come back to see me.”
A week later the woman goes back and storming into the office complains, “Doctor, I think the pills made it worse, I keep farting all the time and even though the farts are still noiseless the now smell terrible!, what have you got to say for yourself?”
Doctor:
- ” Good, we have taken care of your sinuses, now we can move on to your hearing…”

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Old People Jokes

How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist!

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Jokes about Women One-Liner Jokes