Women - Page 51

A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. every time I sneeze I have an оrgаsм.
The doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it.
The woman replied, snorting pepper.

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A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her.
Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed.
When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her.
She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her.
Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead.
She screeched to a stop and ran into the lady's room.
Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out.
The three cops were standing their waiting for her.
Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet none of you thought I would make it."

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Jokes about Women Police Officer Jokes

A man goes to the doctor suffering from premature еjасulатiоn.
"Can you do anything to help me, Doc?" said the man.
"No, but I can give you the address of a woman who has a short attention span" replied the doctor.

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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are sтuрid, but few are blind.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Stupid Jokes

What do you call a woman that works like a man??
Lazy.

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

A funeral service was being held for a you ng woman who had just passed away.
As the pallbearers carried the casket out, they accidentally bumped into a wall. They heard a faint moan come from inside the casket. They opened the casket and found that the woman was still alive! She went on to live 10 more years and then died, and they held another funeral for her. While the pallbearers were carrying her out, her husband yelled, "Watch out for that wall!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!" "This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."

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Police Officer Jokes Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes God Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes Priest Jokes Friendship Jokes Wine jokes

What do women and bowling ваlls have in common?
Three holes

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Dirty jokes Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Fart Jokes

Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A.So they wouldn't huмр women's legs at cocktail parties.
B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.

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Jokes about Women Dogs Sleeping Anywhere Men jokes Animal Jokes

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

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Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Animal Jokes Dog jokes

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes

A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem.
As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed.
"I'm so ashamed, and dirтy Doctor," she said,
"I guess I let myself go."
The physician was checking hers eyes and ears.
"Don't feel ashamed, Miss.
You don't look that bad."
"Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked.
The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said,
"Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."

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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes

I had two women in my bed the other day.
I got home from work and discovered my wife is having a lеsвiаn affair.

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

A passenger train is creeping along, slowly.
Finally it creaks to a halt.
A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.
"What's going on?" she yells out the window.
"Соw on the track!" replies the conductor.
Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.
Within five minutes, however, it stops again.
The woman sees the same conductor walk again.
She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the соw again?"

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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down?
Kick her where the sun don't shine.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and they stink.

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Jokes about Women

Who were the first two black women?
Aunt Jemima and Mother Fuскеr!

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Jokes about Women Vulgar jokes Black People Jokes

Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?

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Dirty jokes Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Food Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes

How come the women loves the PC?
It’s easier to turn on!

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Jokes about Women Computer Jokes Love Jokes

Three women (a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette) are lost in the forest while hunting. They each have a shotgun with 2 bullets. They make a fire. Then the redhead gets up and goes hunting. She comes back with 2 rabbits. The other two say, "Wow, where did you get that?" She says,
"I found tracks. I followed tracks. I saw rabbits. Rabbits ran. I shot. Rabbits stopped." Then the brunette leaves and comes back with a deer. The other two say, "Wow, Where did you get that?" She says,
"I found tracks. I followed tracks. I saw deer. Deer ran. I shot. Deer stopped." The blonde leaves and comes crawling back, all bloodied and black and blue. They others say, "Wow, where did you get that?" She says,
"I found tracks. I followed tracks. I saw train. Train ran. I shot. Train didn't stop."

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Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes