Harry Potter jokes

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Heres my only thing with Harry Potter... They go to this school, and they take classes like Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions and Divination, but they should be taking math also, right?
Why are there no math teachers at Hogwarts? Or history, or geography? They're getting tested on Care of Magical Creatures -- never heard of the Holocaust.

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What dinosaur would Harry Potter be?
The Dinosorcerer

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What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!

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Harry, can I be your girlfriend?

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How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash?
With quit-itch.

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How many Slytherins does it take to stir a cauldron?
Just one. She puts her wand in and the cauldron revolves around her.

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Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter over Facebook?
Because he has only followers, not friends.

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If a wizard gets robbed by a Muggle, has he been Muggled?

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What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord?
A Volt-demort.

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Why is Mad-Eye Moody such a bad professor?
Because he can’t control his pupils.

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I must have had some Felix Felicis, because I think I’m about to get lucky.

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Do you like Harry Potter?
Because I a-Dumbledore you!

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Why did Severus Snape stand in the middle of the road?
So you’d never know which side he was on.

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What do you call a postal carrier who can speak to packages?
A parcel tongue.

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Harry Potter puns can Slytherin to any conversation.

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Why doesn’t Voldemort have glasses?
Nobody nose.

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Why was Harry Potter sent to the office?
Because he was cursing in class.

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What did the comedian say to Harry Potter?
“Why so Sirius?”

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