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Tarzan affronte un énorme gorille. L'issu du combat es t une cuisante défaite pour Tarzan, qui a perdu un oeil, un bras et son zizi. Lors d'un terrible combat contre un lion enragé, Tarzan perd un oeil, un bras et son pénis. Les animaux de la jungle le soignent et le ramènent à la vie. Ils lui greffent un oeil de faucon, un bras... Tarzan råkade ut för en olycka. Han miste ett öga, en arm och snoppen. Så han fick opererat in ett hököga, en aparm och till snopp en elefantsnabel. Vid en förfrågan en tid efter om hur det var,... Tarzan krijgt een ongeval en moet hierdoor een oog, een arm en zijn penis missen. Hij gaat ten rade bij een wonderdokter die hem eens goed bekijkt. "Kijk" zegt hij, "ik heb geen onderdelen van... Tarzan havde engang mistet en arm et øje og sin penis. Derfor gik han til doktoren og spurgte hvad han skulle gøre. Så gav doktoren ham bare en abe arm et ørne øje og et elefant snabel. 2 uger... Chlap přijde k doktorovi: „Pane doktore, já mám hrozně krátkej penis, můžete mi s tím něco udělat?” „No nevím, jedině snad přioperovat chobot z mláděte slona.” Tak udělají. Za měsíc přijde chlap na... U doktora: ,,Pane doktore, já mám strašně krátký penis. Můžete s tím něco udělat?" ,,No, jedině, že bychom Vám tam přioperovali chobot od slůněte." ,,To by bylo skvělé!" Provedou operaci a za týden...
Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes
Отива мутра в салон за татуировки и казва: Мъж татуирал на кура си сто доларова банкнота. Питали го защо? А той: Tattooed Wang $100 Bill Tattoo 3 reasons why you should get a $100 bill tattooed onto your salami. 1. You can play with your money. 2. You can watch your money grow. 3. Every woman loves to blow money. Geht ein Mann zum Tätowierer und sagt, er hätte gerne einen 500-Euro-Schein auf dem Schwanz tätowiert. Fragt der Tätowierer: Ein Mann kommt in ein Tattoo-Studio und möchte auf sein bestes Stück einen Tausender tätowiert haben. Dort ist man zwar an ungewöhnliche Wünsche gewöhnt, aber der Schrödinger ist neu, daher möchte... Un conseil de banquier......Vous ne savez que faire de votre argent? Voici la solution : Faites vous tatouez un euro sur votre sexe et vous aurez le plaisir d'avoir 5 avantages 1) Vous verrez croître vos investisements 2) Vous prendrez plaisir à toucher votre pognon 3) Vous ne verrez plus d'un... O sujeito foi fazer uma tatuagem e ordenou ao tatuador: — Quero que você tatue uma nota de 100 reais no meu pênis! — Você tá louco, cara? — perguntou o tatuador, perplexo — Isso aí vai doer pra cacete! Aliás, vai doer no cacete! — Não tem problema —... Det var en kille som gick till tatueraren och bad att få en 100 kronors sedel tatuerad på det allra heligaste, men han tvekade och frågade varför. - Jo jag har tre skäl. För det första så gillar...
Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction."Al-gebra is a fearsome cult, "Gonzales said. They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as unknowns, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
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Here's what the heck they mean in the Lone Star State...
The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving = Not too smart As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party = An unwelcome person Tighter than bark on a tree = Stingy Big hat, no cattle = All talk, no action We've howdied but we ain't shook yet = We've met, but haven't been formally introduced He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow = He thinks his s#%! doesn't stink She's got tongue enough for ten rows of teeth = She's a talker It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs = Rain would be nice Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly = Appearances can be deceiving This ain't my first rodeo = I've been around the block He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch = U-G-L-Y They ate supper before they said grace = They're living in sin Time to paint your вuтт white and run with the antelope = Stop arguing and do as you're told As full of wind as a corn-eating horse = A braggart You can put your boots in the oven, but that doesn't make them biscuits = You can say whatever you want, but that doesn't change a thing
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