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A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.
The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion, surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and then begins to explore the house. Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor is covered in $100 bills.
Then, there's a knock at the door. He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Кlаn outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he's dead. As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods; it's the two blonde genies.
One blonde genie says to the other one, "I can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire. But why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me."
Blonde Jokes
Блондинка и брюнетка се разхождат в парка. Мртва птица Watch the Birdie Eine Brünette und eine Blondine Το πεθαμένο πουλάκι Ein Ostfriese ist in Bayern im Urlaub. Идут 2 блондинки. Одна и говорит: Una pareja de gallegos caminaba por la playa y en eso que le dice el hombre a su mujer: One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly, the blonde's friend said, "Oh, look, a dead birdie!" The blonde looked up and said, "Where?" Eine Brünette und eine Blondine gehen durch einen Park. Plötzlich sagt die Brünette: "Kuck mal, ein toter Vogel". Die Blondine sieht zum Himmel und fragt: "Wo?" Uma morena e uma loira estavam passeando. A morena disse: - Veja, um passarinho morto! A loira olhou pra cima e perguntou: - Onde? C'est une brune qui dit à une blonde : "Ho, un oiseau mort!!" Et puis la blonde regarde vers le ciel et dit : "Ou ça ????" Idą dwie blondynki przez park. Jedna mówi do drugiej: - Patrz, zdechły ptaszek. A druga patrzy w niebo i mówi: - Gdzie? En brunette och en blondin var ute och promenerade när brunetten plötsligt utbrister: - åhhh, titta en död fågel Varvid blondinen stannar och stirrar upp i lufte... Ce sont deux amis, un francais et un belge qui se promenent sur la plage.Soudain, le francais dit au belge: 'regarde une mouette morte! ou ça?'dit le belge en regardant en l'air... Un lepero le dice a otro: Oye Paco... mira mira, un pájaro muerto!! Paco mira hacia el cielo y pregunta... ¿dónde dónde? Une brune et une blonde se balade en ville.Soudain la brune crie : - AAAAH UN PIGEON MORT !!!! La blonde regarde dans le ciel et dis : - OU ÇA,OU ÇA !!!!! Dos atlantes se encuentran en la playa y uno de ellos le dice al otro: - Mira, una gaviota muerta. Y el otro mirando hacia el cielo le pregunta: - ¿Dónde? Deux blondes se promènent en forêt. L'une dit : "Oh, regarde, des oiseaux morts !" L'autre regarde en l'air et fait : "où ça ?". Op straat loopt een dom blondje en een brunette. De brunette roept: “Kijk een dood vogeltje!” Waarop het domme blondje omhoog kijkt en zegt: “Waar dan?” En brunette og en blondine kommer gående, og brunetten sier: - Se, der er en død fugl. Blondinen kikker opp og sier: - Hvor? Det var en gang to svensker som gikk på en vei så sa den ene: Titta, en död fågel. Da ser den andre svensken opp i lufta og sier: Var da? En blondine og en brunette går en tur i parken. Pludselig siger brunetten: Ad! Prøv at se på den døde fugl! – Blondinen stopper, kigger op og siger: Hvor? Det var en gang ei blondine og en brunette som gikk seg en tur, plutselig sier brunetten: – Åå, se på den døde fuglen. Og blondina såg opp mot himmelen og sa: – Hvor? Uma loira e uma morena, estavam passeando pela calçada, quando de repente a morena falou: - Olha um passarinho morto! Então a loira olhou para cima e disse: - Onde? Come si misura l’intelligenza di una bionda ? Le si infila un manometro in un orecchio. Perche’ la bionda ha attraversato la strada ?- Dimenticati la strada…. cosa stava facendo fuori dalla... Iemand zegt tegen een Limburger: "Kijk daar een dode vogel!" Waarop de Limburger naar de lucht kijkt en vraagt: "Waar dan?" O blonda si o bruneta se plimbau in parcul Cismigiu. Bruneta : - Uite o pasare moarta! La care blonda ,uitandu-se pe cer ,spune : - Unde ,unde?? Memento mori To blondiner går tur på stranden. Pludselig siger den ene: "Guuuud, se en død måge!" "Hvor?" Siger den anden, mens hun kigger op luften. Blondi ja brunette kävelevät puistossa. - Katso! Kuollut lintu! sanoo brunette Blondi katsoo ylös ja kysyy: - Missä? O bruneta se adreseaza unei blonde: - Uite, draga, o pasare moarta... - Unde, unde, unde? intreaba blonda privind spre cer! Deux blonde se promènent, soudainement ; l'une s'écrit : - Oh ! Regarde un oiseau mort ! - Où ça ?! Demande l'autre en regardant le ciel. Ei brunette og ei blondine var ute og gikk en tur i parken sammen. Plutselig ser brunetten en død fugl på bakken og sier "å se på den stakkars døde fuglen". Blondinen kikker opp i lufta og sier... Une blonde se promène avec une amie. Soudain, celle-ci lui dit : - Oh, regarde ! Un oiseau mort ! La blonde lève alors la tête : - Où ça ? Où ça ? Une blonde et son amie(qui n'est pas blonde) se promènent dans un parc. Plus tard son amie dit : - «Regarde un oiseau mort!» Et la blonde lui répond en levant sa tête : - «Où ça» Død fugl En blondine og hendes kæreste var ude og gå en tur. Pludselig udbryder manden: - Ad, prøv at se den døde fugl der!!! Hvorefter blondinen kigger op og siger: - Hvor. Blondinen og brunetten En blondine og en brunette kom gående.... Lige pludselig siger brunetten: "SE! der ligger en død fugl" . Blondinen kigger op i himlen og siger: "Hvor, hvor!".... Brunetka i blondynka idą przez park. Brunetka nagle mówi: "Och, popatrz na tego biednego zdechłego ptaszka!" Blondynka spojrzała na niebo i spytała "Gdzie?" O blonda si o Bruneta stau pe o banca in parc. - Uite o Pasare moarta, zice bruneta. - Unde? zice blonda, Uitandu-se pe cer. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park one morning. Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird. "Awww, look at the dead birdie," she says sadly. The blonde stops, looks up into the... Birgün dagda Temel ile Cemal yürürken Temel Cemal’e derki: - "Yahu Cemal paksana, kus ölmüs daa!" Cemal de havaya bakarak cevap verir: - "Ula Temel hanidur daa??"
Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor of a smallcongregation in a little Pennsylvania town.
One day, he was walking down Main Street andhe happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar,drinking вееr. The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of hiscongregation should do. He walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next tothe woman. "Mrs. Fitzgerald," the reverend saidsternly. "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me takeyou home?" "Sure," she said with a slur, obviouslyvery drunк. When Mrs. Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to
weave back and forth. The reverend realized that she had had too much to drink and hegrabbed hold of her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance andtumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few seconds, the reverend wound up lyingon top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist. The bartender looked over the bar and said,"Here, here, buddy, we won't have any of that carrying on in this bar." The reverend looked up at the bartender and said,"But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Fuzz." The bartender nodded, "Well if you're thatfar into the game, you may as well finish!"
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Τα πολλά καρώτα του Γιωρίκα - Откъде знаеш, че морковите са полезни за зрението? Un médico le dice a su paciente: - Las zanahorias son buenas para la vista. - Y eso, ¿Cómo lo sabe? - Muy sencillo, ¿Qué usted ha visto un conejo con gafas? Пацієнт запитує в лікаря: — Лікарю, а правду кажуть, що від моркви зір покращується? — Правду кажуть! Ви коли-небудь бачили зайця в окулярах? Przychodzi baba do lekarza, a lekarz mówi: - Co pani dolega? - Mam bardzo słaby wzrok Na to lekarz: - Proszę jeść dużo marchewek tak jak królik. - Co? - zdziwiła się baba. - No tak widziała pani... Medicul oftalmolog o sfatuieste pe o pacienta sa faca o Cura de morcovi pentru a-si imbunatati vederea. Sceptica, femeia intreaba: - Domnule doctor, sinteti sigur ca nu voi mai avea Probleme cu... - Honnan lehet tudni, hogy a répa jó hatással van a látásra? - Miért? Te láttál már szemüveges nyulat? - Daktare, jeigu valgysiu daug morkų, ar tikrai pagerės mano regėjimas? - Aišku! Argi kada matėte triušį su akiniais?..
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One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver's side door with him standing right there. "NOOO!" he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same. Finally, a cop came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling. "MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!!!" he exclaimed. "Your a lawyer aren't you?" asked the policeman. "Yes, I am, but what does this have to do with my car?!?!" the lawyer asked. "HA! Your lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your possessions. I bet you didn't even notice that your left arm is missing did you?" the cop said. The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed "MY ROLEX!"
докарват една мутра, която е претърпяла катастрофа в пирогов. The Hit and Run Case Некој богат човек си се возел во новото Ферари и направил сообраќајка… A successful London banker parked his brand new Porsche in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a bus came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver's side. The banker immediately whipped out his phone and dialed 999. The police were... A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was hopping up and down with rage, complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious... Un abogado se compra un BMW nuevito y sale a mostrárselo a los otros abogados en el tribunal. Llega y estaciona sobre la derecha, abre la puerta para salir y en ese momento pasa un camión y le... En advokat körde på landsvägen med sin nya BMW och sjöng för sig själv: - Jag älskar min BMW, jag älskar min BMW... Eftersom han fokuserade mer på sin bil än på vägen så slutade bilresan med att... Um advogado estacionou seu BMW novo em folha na frente de seu escritório, pronto para mostrá-lo aos seus colegas. Logo que ele abriu a porta para sair, um caminhão passou raspando e arrancou... Ein Porschefahrer überschlägt sich mit seinem Wagen auf der Autobahn. Als die Sanitäter ihn aus dem Wagen bergen jammert dieser: "Mein Porsche, mein schönes Auto!" Sanitäter: "Der Wagen ist doch... Een advocaat opende de deur van zijn BMW toen er plotseling een auto langs kwam rijden die de deur raakte en hem er finaal afreed. Toen de politie op de plaats van het ongeval arriveerde, klaagde... Jedzie Szkot autem, zatrzymał się otwiera drzwi i bach... jakiś samochód uderza mu drzwi i je wyrywa. Przyjeżdża policja i karetka, wysiada doktor a Szkot: - O mój Boże! Mój samochód! Doktor na... Clodomiro era un abogado muy avaro, un día se compró un Rolex y un Mercedes-Benz. Al día siguiente fue a la corte a resolver un caso de un ladrón que mató a alguien. Cuando llegó, al abrir la... Een advocaat loopt naar zijn auto en doet de deur open. Er komt ineens een auto heel hard aanrijden. Hij raakt de deur van de auto van de advocaat. De deur vliegt er vanaf. De advocaat belt de... A lawyer's car stalled on the side of the freeway. As he was getting out to see what was the matter, a reckless driver swerved taking off the whole car door and knocking the lawyer to the ground. A... One day in New York City, a banker was driving his new Jaguar down the streets. He parked it and opened the door to get out. Suddenly a taxi went by and ripped the door off. The driver reported... A lawyer opens the door of his BMW. Another car speeds by and hits the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrive, the lawyer is complaining bitterly. ‘Officer, look what they’ve done... Um judeu estava viajando com sua BMW, quando de repente bateu em um poste. Ele sai desesperado do carro todo amassado dizendo: — Ai, meu Deus, meu carra! Pouco depois, os bombeiros chegam. Um deles... Een rijke patser krijgt met zijn Ferrari een geweldig auto ongeluk. Hij moet uit het wrak gezaagd worden en de zwaar gewonde man jammert terwijl de brandweer bezig is. "Oh mijn ferrari... Mijn... Ένας δικηγόρος πάει να κατεβεί από το αυτοκίνητο του, όταν ένα άλλο περνάει Και του διαλύει την πόρτα τελείως. Έρχεται η αστυνομία και ο δικηγόρος Διαμαρτύρεται εντόνως για την καταστροφή της... Atrasado para a audiência, o advogado abre rapidamente a porta do seu carro, porém, infelizmente, outro carro bate nele, levando a porta pelos ares. Desconsolado, o advogado reclama para o policial...
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