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New year jokes

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My New Year’s resolution is already going great. Day 1 at the gym — just took a shit, time to work out.
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Новогодишното ми обещание вече върви чудесно. Ден 1 във фитнеса — току-що се изсрах, време е за тренировката. Мојата новогодишна одлука веќе оди одлично. Ден 1 во теретана — штотуку се изсрав, време е за тренинг. Mi propósito de Año Nuevo ya va de maravilla. Día 1 en el gimnasio — acabo de саgаr, hоrа de entrenar. Моё новогоднее обещание уже идёт отлично. День 1 в спортзале — только что сходил по-большому, пора тренироваться. Mein Neujahrsvorsatz läuft schon richtig gut. Tag 1 im Fitnessstudio — gerade geschissen, Zeit fürs Training. Ma résolution du Nouvel An se passe déjà très bien. Jour 1 à la salle — je viens de chier, place à l’entraînement. Η πρωτοχρονιάτικη απόφασή μου πάει ήδη τέλεια. Ημέρα 1 στο γυμναστήριο — μόλις χέστηκα, ώρα για προπόνηση. Il mio proposito di Capodanno sta già andando alla grande. Giorno 1 in palestra — hо appena cagato, è ora di allenarsi. Yeni yıl kararım şimdiden çok iyi gidiyor. Spor salonunda 1. gün — az önce sıçtım, antrenman zamanı. Моє новорічне рішення вже йде чудово. День 1 у спортзалі — щойно посрався, час тренуватися. A minha resolução de Ano Novo já está a correr muito bem. Dia 1 no ginásio — acabei de саgаr, hоrа de treinar. Moje noworoczne postanowienie idzie już świetnie. Dzień 1 na siłowni — właśnie się wysrałem, czas na trening. Mitt nyårslöfte går redan jättebra. Dag 1 på gymmet — nyss sket jag, dags att träna. Mijn goede voornemen voor het nieuwe jaar gaat al top. Dag 1 in de sportschool — net gescheten, tijd om te trainen. Mit nytårsforsæt går allerede rigtig godt. Dag 1 i fitnesscenteret — har lige skidt, tid til træning. Nyttårsforsettet mitt går allerede veldig вrа. Dag 1 på treningssenteret — har akkurat driti, på tide å trene. Uudenvuodenlupaukseni sujuu jo loistavasti. Päivä 1 salilla — kävin juuri paskalla, aika treenata. Az újévi fogadalmam máris remekül halad. 1. nap az edzőteremben — most szartam, ideje edzeni. Rezoluția mea de Anul Nou merge deja foarte bine. Ziua 1 la sală — tocmai m-am căcat, e timpul pentru antrenament. Moje novoroční předsevzetí už jde skvěle. Den 1 ve fitku — právě jsem se vysral, je čas cvičit. Mano naujametinis pažadas jau puikiai sekasi. 1 diena sporto salėje — ką tik nusikakojau, metas treniruotis. Mana Jaungada apņemšanās jau iet lieliski. 1. diena sporta zālē — tikko nokārtojos, laiks trenēties. Moja novogodišnja odluka već ide odlično. Dan 1 u teretani — upravo sam se israo, vrijeme je za trening.
Fitness jokes New year jokes
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh.
The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?"
So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
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Jokes about Women Christmas Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes New year jokes
New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hеll with them as usual.
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New year jokes
My resolution was to read more so I put the subtitles on my tv.
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New year jokes
I hope my New Year’s Eve night out will be better than last year, when I got arrested in Bradford.
I tried to explain it was a misunderstanding. If I see a Ракi counting down from ten, my immediate reaction is to punch the сunт before he can hit the detonator.
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New year jokes Masturbation jokes
My new years revolution is to learn how to spell
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New year jokes
It’s a good job Apple isn’t in charge of New Year.
We’d all be expecting 2015 and get 2014S instead.
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New year jokes
My New Year’s resolution is to save enough to buy a Velcro wall.
And I plan on sticking to it.
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New year jokes
2016: Well 2017, it’s almost your turn. You cannot possibly do as bad a job as I did. 2017: Hold my вееr.
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New year jokes Beer Jokes
My New Year’s resolution is to stop pretending I’m Chinese.
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New year jokes
On new years eve I’m going to start wanking just before midnight and сuм exactly at 12 so I can pretend all the fireworks celebrations are for me.
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New year jokes
What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve? Social Security.
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New year jokes
I had no idea time zones were so far apart…
Just landed in China and it’s fuскing New Year apparently.
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New year jokes
My New Years resolution for 2014 is gonna be for me to stop procrastinating
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New year jokes
I’ve thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year’s resolution.
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New year jokes
I think women get more excited about New Year’s Eve than men. If you think about it, you can see why. What do you do on New Year’s Eve? You get drunк and make a lot of promises you don’t keep. You see, men do that all the time, it’s called dating!!
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Jokes about Women Men jokes New year jokes
I hope you all have a prosperous New Year … I may have to borrow money.
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Money jokes New year jokes
For my New Year’s Resolution, I have decided to only smoke after sеx.
If 2014 is anything to go by, I’ve quit.
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Sex Jokes New year jokes
New Year's is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don't want you reusing last year's calendar.
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New year jokes
Holiday Revelers, just remember: …. …..
1) Alcohol is not the 5th food group. …. …..
2) You’re on your own if the parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar. …. …..
3) You have a real problem if you have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. …. …..
4) It’s time to quit if the back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. …. …..
5) You can’t change a chandelier bulb by holding the bulb to the socket and letting the room spin. …. …..
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Food Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes New year jokes
My New Year’s Resolution was to stop making innuendo jokes about my sеxuаl stamina.
Day two and so far so good.
I just hope I can keep it up.
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New year jokes
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