Skip to main content

  • Home
  • Categories
  • Popular
  • Funny pictures
  • Most Popular Jokes
  • Latest Jokes
  • Jokes about Women
  • Religion jokes
  • Office and Work Jokes
  • Gross Jokes
  • Sports Jokes
  • School Jokes
  • Marriage and Family Jokes
  • Kids Jokes
  • Medical and Doctor Jokes
  • Dark Humor Jokes
  • Blonde Jokes
  • Animal Jokes
  • Dirty jokes
  • Chuck Norris Jokes
  • Donald Trump Jokes
  • Drinking and Drunk Jokes
  • Putin Jokes
  • Sex Jokes
  • Christmas Jokes
  • Jewish Jokes
  • Police Officer Jokes
  • Weed Jokes
  • Old People Jokes
  • Mother-in-Law Jokes
  • Masturbation jokes
  • Political Jokes
  • Vulgar jokes
  • Genie jokes
  • Aviation Jokes
  • Nurse jokes
  • Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes
  • Knock-knock jokes
  • Scottish Jokes
  • Soccer Jokes
  • Lawyer Jokes
  • Dad Jokes
  • Gynecology Jokes
  • Rude Jokes
Вицове за Нова година New year jokes Silvesterwitze Chistes de año nuevo Анекдоты про Новый Год Blagues du Nouvel An Barzellette di Capodanno Ανέκδοτα για την Πρωτοχρονιά Вицеви за Нова Година Yılbaşı Fıkraları Анекдоти про Новий рік Piadas de Ano Novo Dowcipy o Sylwestrze Nyårsskämt Nieuwjaarsmoppen Nytårsvittigheder Nyttårsvitser Uudenvuoden vitsit Szilveszteri poénok Glume de Revelion Vtipy o Silvestru Naujųjų metų anekdotai Jaunā Gada joki Vicevi za Novu Godinu
My Jokes Edit Profile Logout
  1. Home
  2. New year jokes

New year jokes

Most popular in this category
I had a quiet New Year’s Eve. Nothing to drink, TV switched off by 8.00pm, then bed with a long sеx session to end the night.
I hate prison.
0 0
0
Sex Jokes New year jokes
The average person has sеx 89 times a year.
This is gonna be one hеll of a week.
14 0
0
Според статистиката, човек на моята възраст прави секс 92 пъти годишно. По статистике, человек в среднем занимается сексом 80 раз в год. Läste någonstans att en person har sex i genomsnitt 89 gånger per år. Verkar som om jag har en oförglömlig kväll framför mig!
Sex Jokes New year jokes
My New Year’s resolutions are:
1. Stop making lists.
B. Be more consistent.
7. Learn to count.
7 0
0
New year jokes
Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
13 0
0
New year jokes Funny Poems
My New Years resolution is simple…. Remember to write 2015 instead of 2014.
14 0
0
New year jokes
New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies...
I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe...
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard
to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support."
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
I will think of a password other than "password."
I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.
I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er...
I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
17 0
0
Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Geek jokes New year jokes Internet Jokes
You don't have to wait until midnight to see my ваlls drop.
24 0
0
Dirty jokes New year jokes
Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
16 0
0
Chuck Norris Jokes New year jokes
My new year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either ruм, vоdка, or whiskey.
31 0
0
Drinking and Drunk Jokes New year jokes
My New Years resolution is 1080p.
28 0
0
New year jokes Technology Jokes Programmer Jokes
Q: What's the forecast for New Year's Eve?
A: Mostly drunк with a slight chance of passing out.
57 0
0
Drinking and Drunk Jokes New year jokes
On New Year's Eve, a woman stood up at a local pub and said it was time to get ready for the midnight countdown. At the sтrоке of midnight, she wanted every husband to stand next to the one person who made his life worth living. As the clock struck midnight, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
0 0
0
Marriage and Family Jokes Jokes about Women Bar and Bartender Jokes Relationship Jokes New year jokes
A drunк man comes inside a bar and says, "Happy New Year everybody." and the waiter says, "We are in June you drunк man.".
And the drunк man says, "Oh my god my wife is going to кill me I have never been so late in my life!"
31 0
0
Un borracho entra en un bar y dice: - ¡¡¡Feliz año nuevooo!!! El camarero le contesta: - ¿Cómo que feliz año? ¡Si estamos en julio! Y responde el borracho: - ¡Julio! Carajo, mi mujer me va a matar? ¡Nunca me había retrasado tanto!! Un borracho entra a la cafetería, y con la voz todavía temblorosa dice: - Feliz año nuevo! Pero una mujer le responde: -Señor, pero si estamos en abril. Y el borracho contesta: -¿Abril? ¡Maldición, mi mujer me va a matar, nunca he llegado tan tarde! - ¡Feliz Navidad, grita un borracho! - ¡Pero si estamos en enero!, le dice un amigo. - ¡Ay, la leche, mi mujer me va a matar!
New year jokes Marriage and Family Jokes God Jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes
My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
34 0
0
New year jokes Friendship Jokes
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a ваng.
0 0
0
Sex Jokes Kids Jokes New year jokes Birthday Jokes
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
22 0
0
New year jokes
Q: What do New Year's Parades have in common with Santa Claus?
A: No one is awake to see either of them.
68 0
0
Christmas Jokes New year jokes
A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky.
"If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it.
But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it.
This is my position, and I will not compromise."
41 0
0
Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes USA Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Political Jokes New year jokes Tax jokes
Q: What does it mean if you were born in September?
A: That your parents started the new year with a ваng!
75 0
0
Dirty jokes Sex Jokes New year jokes Birthday Jokes
Just got out of prison after attacking a man on New years eve.
Excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from ten.
34 0
0
Ethnic and Racial Jokes Men jokes New year jokes Prison Jokes
  • Previous
Privacy and Policy Contact Us