Newest jokes - Page 124

"Doctor I feel like biscuits!"
"What, you mean those square ones?"
"Yes!"
"The ones you put butter on?"
"Yes!"
"Well, that means you’re crackers!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

What gas do snails prefer?
Shell.

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Animal Jokes

All employees are encouraged to devise innovative techniques in effort to save company dollars.
One enterprising individual has already suggested that money could be raised during airport layover periods which could be used to defray
travel expenses.
In support of this idea, red caps will be issued to all employees prior to their departure so that they may earn tips by helping others with their luggage.
Small plastic roses and ball point pens will also be available to employees so that sales may be made as time permits.

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Aviation Jokes

If you can't say something nice, say it in French.

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Life Jokes

Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible.
He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes

Big Brother isn't watching you.
Chuck Norris is watching you!

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Apparently Neil Armstrong use to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and followed them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."

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Space jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes

Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession?
A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.

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Hipster Jokes Office and Work Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way.
We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Car and driving jokes

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Man, to woman, ‘Am I the first man you ever made love to?’
Woman, ‘You might be.
Now you come to mention it, your face does look familiar.’

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes

A woman walks into a dildо shop to buy a dildо. After a few minutes of looking around she approaches the clerk.
"Excuse me, do you have anything вiggеr?" She asks.
The clerk shows her a few items on the shelf.
"I'm looking for something вiggеr than those," she says.
The clerk pauses for a moment, "I think I might have what you're looking for, but it's expensive."
"Oh that's fine," she says.
The clerk leads her to the counter where he was sitting and pulls out a massive chrome cylinder.
"$500" he says.
"Oh wow," says the woman, "that is expensive, but it's perfect."
The woman hands the clerk $500 and happily leaves the store.
The store owner comes out and asks the clerk, "so have you sold any dildоs?"
"No, but I sold my thermos for $500."

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Dirty jokes Jokes about Women

A lady puts an ad in the paper that reads: "Recently single and looking for a man that will not run away, not hit me and treat me right in the bedroom."
One day her door веll rings and there is a man with no arms and no legs at the door.
He says: "I am here to answer your ad in the paper. I have no arms so I will not hit you and no legs so I cannot run away."
She says: "What about the good in bed part?"
He says: "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"

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Dirty jokes Men jokes Single People Jokes

Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes

There was once a lady making a stew for dinner when she found she had no onions,so with no time to waste she raced to the shops, burst in saying could i have some onions please.
The shopkeeper replied sorry lady we are fresh out of onions.
The lady said but i really need onions and gave all the reasons why in one big sentence.
The shopkeeper said look lady,I`ll put it to you another way and continued to ask her- if you take the o from tomato what do you have?
The lady said tomat,Yes said the man and if you take the o from potato what do you have?
The lady said potat.
Yes said the man behind the counter,now if you take the fuск out of onions what do you have?
"But there's no fuск in onions",said the lady,Yes said the man, That's what I have been trying to tell you!"

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

Q: What's the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex?
A: Lefty.

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Dark Humor Jokes Communication Jokes Dinosaur jokes

you moma is so old that she has jesus in her year book

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Yo Momma Jokes Old People Jokes

Q: What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile?
A: A taxi.

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Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes White people jokes

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sеxuаl arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
Steve Martin

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Sex Jokes Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes Technology Jokes Boss Jokes

One by one the dustmen lined up to shаg the blonde at No.25. Finally it's the turn of the driver and the blonde hands him a tenner.
"Merry Christmas" she says.
"What's this?" he says "you didn't give my mates a tenner."
"No" she explained, "it was my husbands idea. When I asked him what we should give the dustmen as a Christmas box, he said just give the driver a tenner and fuск the rest!"

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Blonde Jokes

Latest Jokes