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Latest Jokes

When a post includes II bet none of my friends will share this' rest assured, I won't.

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Jokes

- Do alcoholics run in your family - No, but they stumble around and break shit

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Jokes

6-year-old: Do dragons fаrт fire?
Me: I don't know.
6: I thought you went to college

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Kids Jokes

Saying that wearing а mask during а pandemic is ”living in fear” is like saying that using oven mitts means you're ”afraid” of the oven

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Coronavirus Jokes

Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.

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Jewish Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Military Jokes What's The Difference Jokes Morbid jokes

Your mama so fат that when she had a lockdown in a gym she wasn't able to go through the window or the door.

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Yo Momma Jokes Fitness jokes

A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep.
He tells to the shepherd: "I will bet you 100 € against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock."
The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet.
"973," says the man.
The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right.
Says "OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal."
Man picks one up and begins to walk away.
"Wait," cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation."
Man says sure.
"You are an economist for a government think tank" says the shepherd.
"You are exactly right!" responds the man, "but tell me, how did you deduce that?"
"Well," says the shepherd, "put down the dog and I will tell you."

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Pet Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Life Jokes Dog jokes

What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato?
Anything, just butter him up.

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Food Jokes

Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit?
It was an inn-grown hare.

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Animal Jokes

Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted.
The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car.
The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"

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Car and driving jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes

What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay?
"Brace yourself, Sheila."

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

Funny Lists: Eight ways to say "Your Fly Is Open"
1. The cucumber has left the salad.
2. You've got Windows in your laptop.
3. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
4. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
6. Sailor Ned is trying to take a little shore leave.
7. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
8. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.

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Life Jokes Sailor Jokes

This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when the laundry is done and when the cooking is made and when the dishes are washed."
One of the guys at the table said, "How long have you been married?"
The man says, "Oh I'm not married I'm single!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Single People Jokes Boss Jokes

You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all.
Well neither can a fence!

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Animal Jokes

A French guest, staying in a hotel called room service for some pepper.
"Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge.
"Toilette pepper!" came the reply

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Food Jokes Hotel Jokes

Yo mama is so dark that that she can leave fingerprints on carbon.

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Yo Momma Jokes

Your mama is so short, she was able to get an job application with the Oompa Loompas!

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Yo Momma Jokes

What are the three rules for being a plumber?
1. Hot water is always on the left.
2. Shiт doesn't flow uphill
3. Never chew your fingernails.

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Life Jokes

A blonde woman is walking down the street, with her blouse open.
A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, "Boy, my eyes must be going, it looks like that woman's right воов is hanging out."
As he gets closer it becomes apparent that it "IS" hanging out.
When he gets face to face with her he says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?"
"Well, your воов is hanging out."
She looks down and says "OMIGOD, I left the baby on the bus!"

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Blonde Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes