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Latest Jokes

When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Food Jokes

Q: How do tax accountants make a bold fashion statement?
A: Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.

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Accountant Jokes Beauty Jokes Tax jokes

Q: How do pirates make their money?
A: By hook or by crook!

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Sailor Jokes Money jokes Pirate Jokes

This woman walks into a bar, and she has the hairiest armpits in the history of armpits.
She sits down, raises her arm, and says, "Bartender, I would like a drink."
There's an old drunк sitting next to her.
Slurring, he says, "Barkeep, I would like to buy the ballerina a drink."
She accepts, drinks it, raises her arm again to get the bartender's attention, and orders another.
The old man says, "Barkeep, you just keep giving the ballerina anything she wants."
Finally, the bartender goes over to the drunк and says, "Sir, that's nice of you, but how do you know she's a ballerina?"
The old man answers, "Son, you don't get to be my age without learning that only ballerinas can lift their legs that high."

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Old People Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

A woman goes to a doctor, doctor, I'm tired of life, want to finish my life, what is best to кill myself?
The doctor says: "Should yourself 5 cm under your вrеаsт, you will be dead!"
2 weeks later, woman back at doctors, what happened?
I shot myself into my knee.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Jokes about Women

The judge:
Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association?
The inculpated:
Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?

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Judge and Court Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Animal Jokes Hunting Jokes Lawyer Jokes

An exhausted hunter out in the woods stumbled across another hunter.
Hunter 1: "Am I glad to see you, I've been lost for three days."
Hunter 2: "Don't get too excited, friend, I've been lost for three weeks."

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Hunting Jokes Men jokes Friendship Jokes

Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Food Jokes

Q: Why did the cowboy get a hot seat?
A: Because he rode the range.

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Cowboys and Indians Jokes

There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.

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Computer Jokes Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes

‘If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?’ Steven Wright

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Funny Quotes Money jokes

A Pontiac takes examinations for the driver’s licence for the fourth year in a row.
The examiner asks him "So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; the one young and the other an old woman. Which one are you going to hit?"
"Of course the old woman!"
The examinet frustrated "I told you last year! You hit the brakes!"

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Car and driving jokes Jokes about Women Old People Jokes

How many service technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, and he does it very well, but there is that $85 non-refundable on-site service fee to consider

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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

A blonde has been working in a broom factory since childhood, despite the state's strict anti-child labor laws, and has always been a good worker. But one day, she storms into her boss' office.
"I quit! That's it, I'm not working here anymore!"
"Why?" asks the boss. "What's the problem?"
"I've been working here for so long that I've grown the broom bristles between my legs. I can't take it anymore."
"Listen," the boss says. "That's perfectly normal. Look, I have those too."
"Oh, my God!" she exclaims.
"It's worse than I thought! You've also grown a broom handle!"

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Blonde Jokes Office and Work Jokes God Jokes Boss Jokes

A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today"
The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes."
"What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss.
"I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."

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Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes Boss Jokes

After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's вrа off, I decided to give up,
I wish I'd never put it on now.

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Men jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

What is a cursor?
Someone having computer problems.

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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

Once Chuck Norris went to Mc Donalds and had a pizza.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".

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Funeral jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

I knew I was gonna get along with my mother's boyfriend just fine.
Cause when we met, I said to him "Hi Mr. Bob, How are you doing?"
He said: "Oh you don't have to Mr. Bob me, just call me мотhеrfuскеr".

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Dirty jokes