Newest jokes - Page 160

Q: Two coins add up to thirty cents, and one of them is not a nickel. What are they?
A: A quarter and a nickel. Only one of them is not a nickel.

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Money jokes

A hоокеr brings a client to her condo on Lake Shore Drive in Chicago. The client asks her if she gives good hand jobs.
"You see this condo? I bought it by giving good hand jobs."
Her client tells her to give him a hand job. Afterwards, he is impressed and asks her if she gives good вlоw jobs.
"Look out the window. See that red Ferrari on the street? I bought it by giving good вlоw jobs."
Her client asks her to give him a вlоw job. Afterwards, he is really impressed and asks her if she is good in bed.
"Look out the window. See that big yacht out there on Lake Michigan? I could own that if only I had a vаginа."

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Money jokes

The Cost of Pleasure:
Cover charge: $15
Round of drinks: $23
Table dance: $30
A round of shots: $34
Private dance in your hotel room: $300
Send her on her way and never have to hear her complain: priceless.

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Money jokes Military Jokes Hotel Jokes

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being sтuрid.
Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime - Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's вiggеr?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"

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Money jokes Little Johnny Jokes Stupid Jokes

Little Johnny asks his father for a $200 bicycle for his birthday.
Johnny's father says, "We have an $80,000 mortgage on the house, and I just got laid off! There won't be a $200 bike this year."
Two days later, Little Johnny walks out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. His father asks him why he's leaving.
Johnny says, "Early this morning, I was walking past your room, and I heard you tell Mommy that you were pulling out, and Mommy said that you should wait because she was coming too, and I'll be dамnеd if I'll get stuck with an $80,000 mortgage!"

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Money jokes Little Johnny Jokes

Joe asked God, "How much is a penny worth in heaven?"
God replied, "$1 million."
Joe asked, "How long is a minute in heaven?"
God said, "One million years."
Joe asked for a penny. God said, "Sure, in a minute."

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Money jokes

Homeless people here are different.
You ever notice that? Our homeless people are serious, man. They have signs that not only say, 'Will work for food,' some of them have what they want: 'Baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet potato pie, sour chives.'

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Food Jokes Men jokes

Q: Why aren't there any nails in a lеsвiаn's floor?
A: They're all laid with tongue and groove.

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Money jokes

Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.

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Jokes about Women Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

A woman asks the pharmacist if he sells extra-large condoms.The pharmacist replies, "Yes, would you like to buy some?"
The woman says, "No, but do you mind if I stand here and wait to see if anyone buys a box?"

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Jokes about Women

He took me to McDonald's, backed his car through the drive-through window, so the cashier could be on my side.

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Money jokes

Cats are cool because you don't have to buy them.
You see them on the street, take them home - they're yours. You ain't never seen a cat being bought out of a pet store. They just sit in the pet store. They're under there like, 'Meow,' and you be looking at them like, 'Oh they're so cute. Let's go find one like that.'

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Money jokes

My mama was so cheap, she waited 'til after Christmas.
'Baby, Santa Claus missed our house. I called him, and he coming back tomorrow.' She was waiting for the stuff to go on sale.

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Money jokes

Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart?
A: "Cheap, cheap!"

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Money jokes

A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill.
He decided to try it out anyway, so he went to the bank and asked for change. The teller looked at the $8 bill and gave the crook two $4 bills as change.

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Money jokes Banker Jokes

We need to just understand saying 'I love you' to your mom and dad because you only get one mom - and two or three dads.

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Nationality Jokes

A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant in London.The waiter tells them, "Excuse me - if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad соw disease."
The Texan says, "What's a shortage?"
The Russian says, "What's a steak?"
The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"

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Nationality Jokes Food Jokes Restaurant Jokes

I want me a big black girl...
the type of woman that sits in the car and it looks like it's got tinted windows.

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Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes Nationality Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Black People Jokes

Q: What's white and 14 inches long?
A: Absolutely nothing.

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Nationality Jokes

Why Do Scotsmen Wear Kilts?
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Because the sound of zippers scare the sheep away.

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Nationality Jokes

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