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Blonde Jokes
A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak.... He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged... shooting him in the gеniтаls.
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.
"Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot."
"What's the bad news?" asked the hunter.
"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your реnis. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister."
"Oh, well I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"
"Not exactly," answered the doctor. "She's a flute player in the local symphony and she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't рiss in your eye."
Medical and Doctor Jokes
A brunette who can't stand blondes is walking in the forest when all of a sudden she sees a magic lamp on the ground. Thinking to herself, "It always works in the movies," and so proceeds to pick up and rub the lamp.
A genie immediately emerges from the spout and says,
"I will grant you 3 wishes, but whatever you wish for, all the blondes in the world will receive double the amount you receive. Do you understand?"
"Yes I understand," says the brunette, "and for my first wish, I want you to give my an incredibly handsome man."
"Do you understand that all the blondes in the world will receive 2 incredibly handsome men?" asks the genie.
The brunette replies yes and so an incredibly handsome man pops up beside her.
"For my second wish," says the pleased brunette, "I want you to give me 1 million dollars."
"Do you understand that all the blondes in the world will receive 2 million dollars?" said the genie.
The brunette replies yes and a large pile of money pops up on her other side.
Growing even more excited the brunette says calmly, "Lastly - you see that stick over there? I want you to beat me half to death with it."
Blonde Jokes
One night a man walked into a bar with an alligator.
He stood up on the counter and announced, "If i stick my соск and ваlls into this gators mouth, let the gator shut his jaws and pull them out without a scratch on 'em you'll all buy me a drink."
The crowed looked up at the man and nodded with glee.
So the man whipped out his соск and ваlls and stuck them in the gators mouth then shut the gators jaws.
A few moments later he hit it on the head with a вееr bottle and the gators mouth flung open, he pulled his genitalia out without a scratch.
As he was collecting his first free drink he looked to the crowed and asked if anybody would like to try.
A hush blew over the crowed.
All of a sudden a hand shot up in the back. "I would," said the blond lady, "if you promise not to hit me in the head with a вееr bottle."
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