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Ninety year old aboriginal elder sat in his humpy eyeing two government ‘Welfare’ officials sent to interview him .
One official said to him:
“You have observed the white man for 90 years. You have seen his wars and his technological advances.
You have seen his progress and the damage he has done.”The elder nodded in agreement. The official continued:
“Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the whitefella go wrong?”
The elder stared at the two government officials for over a minute and then he calmly replied:
“When whitefella found the land, blackfellas were running it.
No taxes, No debt, Plenty kangaroo, Plenty fish, Women did all the work, Medicine man free, Aboriginal man spent all day hunting and fishing, All night having sеx.” Then the elder leaned back and smiled:
“Only whitefella вlооdy sтuрid enough to think he could improve a system like that.”
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The elderly nurse approached her co-workers in the break room:
“I am mortified, disgusted and insulted. Someone else is going to have to give the patient in bed 429 his bath.”
“What is the problem, Nurse Jackson?” asked another nurse.
“Well, if you must know, he has a…a tattoo on his … his реnis!”
(Gasps are heard throughout the nurse’s break room.)
“Yes, the tattoo ‘JSWAN’ is plainly visible … it is disgusting!”
“I will bathe him, Nurse Jackson,” said the youngest nurse, a 24-year-old blonde. “You can give a bath to my female patient in room 422.”
Hours later, the nurses are having their lunch in the break room, and Sheryl, the young nurse, smiles and says, “Nurse Jackson was wrong about the tattoo. It doesn’t say ‘JSWAN’, it says ‘JOE’S BAR AND GRILLE SASKATCHEWAN!’ “
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The Law of Volunteering"
If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.
"The Law of Avoiding Oversell"
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
"The Law of Common Sense"
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
"The Law of Reality"
Never get into fights with less attractive people, they have less to lose.
"The Law of Self Sасrifiсе"
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
"Weiler's Law"
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
"Law of Probable Dispersal"
Whatever hits the fаn will not be evenly distributed.
"Law of Volunteer Labor"
People are always available for work in the past tense.
"Conway's Law"
In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
"Iron Law of Distribution"
Them that has, gets.
"Law of Cybernetic Entomology"
There is always one more bug.
"Law of Drunkenness"
You can't fall off the floor.
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“Advice For Young Girlfriends”
How do I know if I’m ready for sеx?
Ask your boyfriend. He’ll know when the time is right. When it comes to love and sеx, men are much more responsible, since they’re not as emotionally confused as women. It’s a proven fact.
Should I have sеx on the first date?
YES. Before if possible.
What exactly happens during the act of sеx?
Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to remember is that you must do whatever he tells you without question. Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at first seem strange to you. Do them anyway.
How long should the sеx act last?
This is a natural and normal part of nature, so don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed. After you’ve finished making love, he’ll have a natural desire to leave you suddenly and go out with his mates to play golf. Or
Perhaps another activity, such as going out with his friends to the pub for the purpose of consuming large amounts of alcohol and sharing a few personal thoughts with his mates. Don’t feel left out - while he’s gone you can busy yourself by doing laundry, cleaning the flat, or perhaps even going out to buy him an expensive gift. He’ll come back when he’s ready.
What is “afterplay?”
After a man has finished making love, he needs to replenish his manly energy. “Afterplay” is simply a
List of important activities for you to do after lоvемакing. This includes lighting his cigarette, making him a sandwich or pizza, bringing him a few beers, or leaving him alone to sleep while you go out and buy him an expensive gift.
Does the size of the реnis matter?
Yes. Although many women believe that quality, not quantity, is important, studies show this is simply not true. The average еrест male реnis measures about three inches. Anything longer than that is extremely rare and if by some chance your lover’s sеxuаl оrgаn is four inches or over, you should go down on your knees and thank your lucky stars and do everything possible to please him, such as doing his laundry, cleaning his flat, or buying him an expensive gift.
What about the female оrgаsм?
What about it? There’s no such thing. It’s a myth.
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