Latest Jokes

A waiter was working one night, when a beautiful Blonde was seated in his section. He went over to take her order, and saw that she was crying. "What's wrong, miss? Are you ok?" he asked. Wiping tears from her eyes, she looked up at him and said,
"My boyfriend just dumped me, and today is my birthday. Nice gift, isn't it?" The waiter talked with her a few moments, and was able to get her to stop crying. He kept a close eye on her, and when she had finished her meal, he went into the kitchen, cut a large slice from the best cake on the menu, and stuck a candle in it. He lit the candle, and brought it to her table. She looked very happy, and he was glad. He said,
"Make a wish and вlоw!" She closed her eyes, and made her wish. Then she came up to the waiter, got down on her knees, unzipped his pants, pulled out his соск, and started suскing on it. He had no idea why she was doing this, but she was really into it, suскing away, and playing with his ваlls. He knew that he should stop her-they didn't even know each others names-but hey, when you've got a hot blonde suскing on your соск, like you're really going to say, no don't suск it. He stood there, enjoying every moment, and when she made him сuм, he exploded inside her mouth, and she swallowed every drop of his huge, hot load. She looked up at him with a smile, and said,
"Did you like it?" He said,
"Yes, of course, you suск соск great... But I'm just wondering why you suddenly started suскing my соск??" She looked confused. "Well, I was just doing what you told me to." Now he's confused. "What I told you to?" Smiling, she says,
"Don't tell me you forgot already... You said, 'Make a wish and вlоw!'"
Blonde Jokes
Lawyer Jokes
A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total of $200.00.
Then, the blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. The brunette agrees, and so the brunette leaves to go find the perfect bull. When she does she is to telegram the blonde and tell her to come get it.
Finally, the brunette find the bull of her dreams. The farmer says he wants $200 for it. The brunette, thinking she can get a better deal, says no to his offer.
The farmer says,
"Alright then, I'll give you a great deal, how about $199.00?"
The brunette accepts and buys the bull. She has $1.00 left for the telegram. The telegram guy says,
"It's $1.00 per word." The brunette thinks about this and says,"Comfortable, write that."
"Comfortable?" the guy questions.
"Yes, you see she reads slow."
Blonde Jokes
Whore and Bungee Jumper Der Sohn beim Bungee-Jumping? - Você teria coragem de praticar bungee jumping? - Claro que não! - Por quê? - Cara, eu vim parar neste mundo por causa de uma borrachinha que arrebentou e não quero sair dele pelo mesmo motivo. What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common? If the rubber breaks you're screwed. - Vet du vad det är för likhet mellan att hoppa bungyjump och att pippa en polsk hora? - Nä? - Om gummit spricker så är du dödens. Was haben ein Puff und ein Bungeesprung gemeinsam? Beides kostet 100 Euro. Der Höhepunkt ist kurz. Und wenn das Gummi reißt, hat man ein Problem! Vad är det för likhet med att vara otrogen och att hoppa bungyjump? Svar: Först vet man inte om man vågar, men sedan går det åt helvete om inte gummit håller. Saar en Moos wonen al 25 jaar samen. 'Zouden we nou toch niet eens gaan trouwen?' vraagt Saar. 'Ach meid,' zegt Moos, 'wie wil ons nou nog hebben? Wat is een overeenkomt tussen een prostituee en bungeejumpen? Het is net zo duur, je geniet er ongeveer net zolang van en als het rubber knapt ben je de lul. - Какво е общото между проститутка и бънджи скок? - И двете са евтини, бързи и ако гумата се скъса си мъртъв... - Vet du vad det är för likhet mellan att hoppa bungyjump och att vara otrogen? - Nä? - Först vet man inte om man vågar, sen går det snabbt och så går det åt helvete om gummit inte håller! Hvad er ligheden med en prostitueret og prøve bungee jumping?– Du er død, hvis gummiet går i stykker. Qual a semelhança entre uma ida ao bordel e um salto de bungee jumping? Ambos custam 200 reais, o clímax é muito rápido e, quando a borracha se rompe, eis o problema. (asta-i cu asemanare de fapt) Q: Care-i asemanarea dintre o prostituata si un elastic de bungee-jumping ? A: Amandoua costa 75$, iar daca s-a rupt cauciucul esti halit. Was haben Bungee-Jumping und Sex gemeinsam? - Beides geil bis der Gummi reißt. Vet du vad det är för likhet mellan en kondom och bungyjump? Det går åt helvete om gummit spricker! How are sex and bungee jumping related? When the rubber breaks, you're screwed! What does bungee jumping and shagging a hooker have in common?.... Awesome at first but if the rubber snaps your f*cked!
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