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Latest Jokes

Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.

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Men jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

I was at an important job interview today and was asked “ are u on Facebook”
“No I’m not” I replied.
“are u on Twitter"
"No”
“Instagram?"
"Nope”
“Look just put your fuскing phone away, will u ?”

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Social Network Jokes Office and Work Jokes Facebook Jokes

Virus "Windows" found: Delete, Repair, Next?

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

A guy asked his very good friend if you could stop over to his place and spend a little time working on his computer.

His friend agreed and turned the system on. When he turned on the PC he had an unpleasant surprise.

He asked: ”Why is the display completely black?”

His friend answered: ”The PC is mourning his video card...”

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Computer Jokes Office and Work Jokes Friendship Jokes

Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rаре alarm and some pepper spray. She looked confused and said, "What are these for?" I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge."

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Dirty jokes

Dog rules
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, it's yours.

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Animal Jokes Dog jokes

Two blondes were running from the cops as they had just been caught sneeking over the border into Mexico.
They dashed up to a fence and climbed over it, lights and sirens running behind them.
As they arrived on the other side, they came face to face with a long river.
One blonde said to the other. "Here I'll shine this flashlight over the water and you can walk accross the beam of light."
The other said:
"What do you think I am, sтuрid!? I'll get halfway accross and you'll turn it off!"

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Blonde Jokes Mexican jokes Police Officer Jokes

how do you make a chicken cross the road?
shoot at it.

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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

It got foreclosed on and they made him drive it back to the lot.

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Blue Collar Jokes

A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.
The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''

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Dark Humor Jokes Religion jokes Jewish Jokes Priest Jokes Political Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Priest Jokes

Doctor to a blonde patient: Don't breathe.

Patient: Why doctor? Did you fаrт?

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

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Food Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

The pregnancy report of Santu’s wife came.
Doctor said, "Oh, nothing to get excited, it was just the gas problem."
Santu looks up at the sky towards the God and says, "Lord, What have you given me, a реnis or an Air Pump."

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God Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Christmas Jokes Pregnancy Jokes

Yo mama is so ugly she made the ugliest person in the world cry.

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Insult Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Ugly Jokes

Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"?
Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

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Kids Jokes School Jokes Animal Jokes

I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

Man to a woman:
"Do you know the difference between a вlоwjов and a cheeseburger is?"
Woman:
"No."
Man:
"Lets have lunch sometime…"

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes

An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had a million dollars.
Alec handed in a blank sheet of paper.
'Alec !' yelled the teacher, 'you've done nothing.
Why?'
'Because if I had a million dollars, that's exactly what I would do !'

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Money jokes School Jokes

How do Germans tie their shoes? With little knot-sies!

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Nationality Jokes