Newest jokes - Page 79

The answer to the problem was “log(1+x)”.
A student copied the answer from the student next to him, but didn’t want to make it obvious that he was
cheating, so he changed the answer slightly, to “timber(1+x).”

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The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say.
"Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves."
"Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives.
"For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000."
Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood.
A few actually smirked.
But the patient’s daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?"
"A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team. "Women’s brains have to be marked down because they have actually been used."

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes News and Politics Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes

Yo mama is so sтuрid when you asked her to grab McDonald's she brings the building home.

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Yo Momma Jokes Food Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river... It was 3 feet deep on average.

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Science jokes Math Jokes

Two blondes were talking together:
First: "How about your engaged Jim? Is he keeping well?"
Second: "He isn't just now my engaged."
First: Hi good news. His nose was too big and his head was bald with an ugly face!"
Second: "He is now my husband!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Blonde Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes Ugly Jokes

Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?"
"Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?"
The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."

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Men jokes Car and driving jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Sex Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Beer Jokes

Why did Osama Bin Laden кill his wife?
When she spread her legs he saw bush.

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Dark Humor Jokes Military Jokes Political Jokes American Presidents Humor

Q: How can you tell if a bank robber is gаy?
A: He ties up the safe and blows the guard.

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes Gross Jokes Banker Jokes

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, “Watch that wall!”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Jokes about Women

Yo mamma so sтuрid, when I said lets hit the dance floor, she stated hitting it.

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Yo Momma Jokes Insult Jokes Stupid Jokes

What does a man make best for dinner?
Reservations.

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Men jokes Men vs Women Jokes

A doctor asks a patient while examining her:
How many sеx partners did you have?
5 or 6, don't remember exactly..
Hmm, not that many...
Yes, that wasn't the most successful weekend.

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Sex Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

A blonde and her boyfriend are going through they're daily routine in the bathroom when there's a knock at the door.
The boyfriend who is in the shower tells the blonde to go answer the door.
The blonde puts on a towel and goes to the door.
A man is standing there, and says "Hey hun, do me a favor."
"What?" askes the blonde.
"Drop the towel and I'll give you $500!." replied the man.
The blonde drops her towel and jiggles her тiтs for the man at the door.
"Thanks, a ton hun, i'll catch you later" says the man and he hands her the $500.
The blonde walks back smilling to her boyfriend who had just got out of the shower.
As he steps out, he says "Hey hun?
I just thought I'd let you know John will be stopping by to pay me back that $500 he owes me!"

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Pet Jokes Money jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes Boob Jokes

A new study found that more than 11 million people have quit Facebook in the last three years.
And unfortunately, none of them were your parents.

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Facebook Jokes History Jokes

An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking.
They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman's apartment.
After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed.
Afterward, they're both laying there, staring at the ceiling.
The old man is thinking, “Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.”
The old lady is thinking, “Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my раnтiеs.”

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Dirty jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes Old People Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Love Jokes

Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something 'practical' for her birthday.
"Suppose we open a savings account for you?" mother suggested.
Cathy was delighted.
"It's your account, darling," mother said as they arrived at the bank, "so you fill out the application."
Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for 'Name of your former bank.'
After a slight hesitation, she put down 'Piggy.'

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Kids Jokes Money jokes Banker Jokes

Yo momma's so fат...
The animals at the zoo feed her.

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Yo Momma Jokes Animal Jokes Fat Jokes

Define "Egghead":
What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.

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Life Jokes

How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire?
Three, One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.

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Life Jokes

The scene is a dark jungle.
Two tigers are stalking through the undergrowth in single file when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front.
The startled tiger turns around and says, "Hey!
Cut it out, all right!"
The rear tiger says, "sorry," and they continue.
After about another five minutes, the rear tiger again reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front.
The front tiger turns around and cuffs the rear tiger and says, "I said stop it!"
The rear tiger says, "sorry," and they continue.
After about another five minutes, the rear tiger once more licks the bottom of the tiger in front.
The front tiger turns around and asks the rear tiger, "What is it with you, anyway?"
The rear tiger replies, "Well, I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"

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Lawyer Jokes Single People Jokes

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