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Latest Jokes

You ever been telling a story in front of a group of people, and you realize right at the end of the story, it's a really sucky story? So to make it better, you lie at the end, you know? Spice it up a little bit:
'Yeah, so we're waiting there, and Alex shows up 45 minutes late, and he doesn't have the keys -- and then his head blew up.'

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

How many stoners does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
Zero, the only way a stoner would get off his lazy а$$ and change a light bulb is if he thought he hid his stash in the socket.

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

"Hey girl, quit acting like North Korea and вlоw me already"

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Pick-Up Lines Jokes

Are you a веаvеr? Cause Dam.

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Pick-Up Lines Jokes

Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Music and Musician Jokes

Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t".
Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.

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School Jokes

Alex was a sports fаn whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen.
One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV.
"Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?"
"I’m sick of sports, I’m sick of TV," she replied.
"You haven’t touched me in months.
We’re going to talk about sеx right now!"
"OK, OK.
So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"

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Sports Jokes Sex Jokes

Two women are talking. ‘You know,’ says one.
‘Eighty per cent of men think the best way to end an argument is to make love.’
‘Well,’ says the other.
‘That will certainly revolutionise the game of hockey!’

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Jokes about Women Sports Jokes Men jokes

Yo mama so fат that when she played Xbox live you can see her face sticking out of your tv screen.

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Technology Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?
A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people stealing it.

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Technology Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes

What do you call a рrоsтiтuте with a runny nose?
Full.

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Gross Jokes Sex Jokes

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

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Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Animal Jokes Dog jokes

Q: If a man crashes his car into a woman who's fault is it?
A: Well what was the man doing driving in the kitchen...

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Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes Men jokes Sexist Jokes

During a conversation regarding new potential Johny's job:
"Johny, tell us and what is your weak feature?"
Johny:
"Openness!"
Interviewer:
"But the openness isn't a weak feature!"
Johny:
"Ok, but I fuск what you think!"

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Office and Work Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes

Two firemen are вuтт fuскing in a smoked filled room.
The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?"
Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says:
"I did how do you think all this shiт got started..."

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Office and Work Jokes Sex Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Boss Jokes

One night a lady came home from her weekly prayer meeting, found she was being robbed, and she shouted out, "Acts 2:38:
'Repent & be baptized & your sins will be forgiven.'" The robber quickly gave up & the lady rang the police. While handcuffing the criminal, a policeman said, "Gee mate, you gave up pretty easily. How come you gave up so quickly?" The robber said, "She said she had an axe and two 38's!"

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Religion jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Police Officer Jokes

What's the last thing that went through Sally's mind after falling from a skyscraper? Her ankles.

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Anti-Humor Jokes

Dimes are silver,
Nickels are brass,
Why does your face,
Look like your аss?

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Anti-Humor Jokes

Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders?
A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

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Holiday Jokes