Animal Jokes

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Why is manna from heaven like horse hay?
Both are food from aloft!

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes

A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem.
As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed.
"I'm so ashamed, and dirтy Doctor," she said,
"I guess I let myself go."
The physician was checking hers eyes and ears.
"Don't feel ashamed, Miss.
You don't look that bad."
"Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked.
The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said,
"Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."

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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes

What does a frog say when it sees something' great?
Toadly awesome!

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Animal Jokes

Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Why do lions always eat raw meat?
"Because they don't know how to cook."

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes

A blonde goes horseback riding for the first time in her life, she's never had any prior lessons or training.
As soon as her bottom hits the saddle, the horse gallops away.
Immediately the girl realizes she's not in the saddle correctly and she does everything she can to stay on the horse, she pulls on the horse's mane, she grabs the saddle ... but she realizes it's no use.
Finally she decides the best thing to do is to jump clear of the horse but as she does this, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and she is dragged by the horse.
Her head is hitting the ground ... thump ... thump ... thump ... over and over again.
Just as she is about to lose consciousness ..... the store manager runs out and unplugs the horse!

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Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Customer service jokes

I backed a horse last week at ten to one.
It came in at quarter past four.

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Animal Jokes

The old mosquito puts the little baby’s to bed and tells them:
If you are good, tomorrow I’m going to take you to the nudists.

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Animal Jokes

How is cat food sold?
Usually purr can!

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes

It was a hot summer night.
Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her niррlе...
I was so excited! I never milked a соw before...

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Animal Jokes

Why can’t elephants go on the beach?
Because they can’t keep there trunks up.

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Animal Jokes

What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds?
A dinosaur with the hiccups.

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Animal Jokes

A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog.
‘Does your dog bite?’ asks the mailman.
‘No,’ replies the boy.
And the dog bites the mailman’s leg.
‘You said he doesn’t bite!’ yells the mailman.
‘That’s not my dog,’ replies the boy.

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Animal Jokes

What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!

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Animal Jokes

Yesterday I saw a man trying to chat up a cheetah.
‘Hello,’ I thought.
‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.’

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Animal Jokes Men jokes

Why did the dolphin feel crabby?
Because he ate too many сrавs.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes

A dog goes to a telegraph office and dictates a message.
‘Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.’
The operator reads it back then says, ‘Y’ know, we charge per ten words.
You could have an extra ‘woof’ for free.’
‘No thanks,’ says the dog.

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Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes

What's green green green green green?
A frog rolling down a hill.

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Animal Jokes

The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.

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Sports Jokes Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

There are two cows in a field.
One says to the other:
"So what do you think of mad соw disease?"
The other replies:
"I don't know, I'm a chicken!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes