Birthday Jokes

Most popular in this category

My girlfriend isn’t talking to me because apparently I ruined her birthday.
I’m not sure how I did that – I didn’t even know it was her birthday…

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Birthday Jokes

For my birthday, the only thing I got was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I find that very hard to deal with.

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Birthday Jokes

Why was the Muslim rubbing the goat?
Not because he was in to веsтiаliтy, you Islamophobe.
He was at the petting zoo for his wife's 9th birthday

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Birthday Jokes

My wife's birthday is in two days, and she told me that she would be happy as long as I get her something with a lot of diamonds in it.
She's gonna love this pack of playing cards.

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Birthday Jokes

Ladies, if there’s a man who remembers your birthday, knows what you enjoy and understands your friends and family...
.. it’s Mark Zuckerberg.

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Birthday Jokes

I bought my son a puppy for his birthday, but I accidentally backed over him in the driveway and killed him...
Sure is gonna be tough raising this puppy without him.

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Birthday Jokes

My daughter want's the new iPhone for her birthday. I told her she will get one as long as she has good grades, does her chores, and follows the house rules. Otherwise she will get a cheaper phone, because.
It's my way or the Huawei.

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Birthday Jokes

I completed another lap around the Sun, but I only get half a minute to celebrate today.
It's my thirty-second birthday.

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Birthday Jokes

My wife is turning 32 soon...
I’ve told her not to get her hopes up for her birthday. “After all,” I said, “The celebrations are only going to last half a minute.”
“What are you talking about?” she asked.
I said, “It’s your thirty-second birthday.”

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Birthday Jokes

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye matey!

*Courtesy of a 7 year old in my class.*

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Sailor Jokes Birthday Jokes Pirate Jokes

As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said
Y'know, one would have been enough.

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Birthday Jokes Dad Jokes

My bullies broke my MP3-Player at school. Luckily, my parents bought me an MP4 for my birthday, but these idiots destroyed it again.
Tomorrow, I'll bring an MP5.

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Birthday Jokes School Jokes

My girlfriend is turning 32 soon…
….
I’ve told her not to get her hopes up.
“After all,” I say, “we’re only going to be celebrating it for half a minute.”
When she asked what in the world I was talking about, I pointed out, “This is your thirty-second birthday.”

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Birthday Jokes

For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early.
No one surprises Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Old People Jokes Birthday Jokes

Your so ugly when you were born your mom said "Oh what a treasure" and your dad said "Yeah le´ts bury it."

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Dad Jokes Birthday Jokes

For my wife's birthday, I bought her a fridge freezer. I know it's not much, but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it.

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Birthday Jokes

Immaculate conception is spreading rapidly, with adult born yesterday!

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Birthday Jokes

My little cousin’s birthday was in a few days and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming “HOT WHEELS!”

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Birthday Jokes

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

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Birthday Jokes

Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper

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Birthday Jokes