Blonde Jokes

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
After a bizarre cliff side accident, all eleven members of the women's outing found themselves hanging perilously from a rope over the edge of the cliff. Ten of the women were blondes and one was a brunette. After dangling there for a only a short while it became obvious that the rope would not hold all their collective weight. They decided that to prevent the rope snapping and killing them all, one of them must sасrifiсе themselves and let go, to save the others. Well, they talked about it for a while but no one could decide a fair way of choosing who should jump. Finally, the brunette, exasperated by the indecisiveness of the blondes, could see that if nobody acted soon the rope was going to snap. To save the others she bravely decided that it must be her who made the sасrifiсе. She plucked up a little courage and told the others that she would jump to save them. After giving a short but very moving speech that she hoped would be remembered after she'd gone, the blondes were so moved that they all started clapping!
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Comment fait-on pour noyer une blonde ? Wie ertränkt man eine Blondine? Indem man einen Spiegel auf denn Boden eines Pools klebt!!! Vet du hvordan man drukner en blondine? Svar: Man plasserer et speil i bunden av et basseng. Miten blondi upotetaan? - Asetetaan peili uima-altaan pohjalle Jak najłatwiej utopić blondynkę? - Przyczepić lustro do dna. Hvordan få en blondine til å drukne seg selv i et svømmebasseng? - Man plasserer et speil på bunnen av bassenget... - Hur dränker man en blondin? - Sätter en spegel i botten av poolen! - Vet du hur man dränker en blondin? - Nej? - Det är lätt, man lägger en spegel på botten i en simbassäng Hur får man en blondin att drunkna? - Du lägger en spegel på botten av en pool. Hur dränker man en blondin? Säg inte åt henne att svälja... Lägg en spegel på botten av en pool Sätt en "luktis" på botten Hvordan kan man f. Eks drukne en blondine? Hvordan kan man f. Eks drukne en blondine? Man lægger et spejl på bunden af en swimmingpool. — Você sabe como matar uma loira afogada? Coloque um espelho no fundo da piscina. Como se mata uma loira afogada na piscina? Colocando um espelho em baixa da picina Vc sabe como a loira morre afogada em seu banheiro?? Colocando um espelhoembaixo da banheira!!
Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Blonde Jokes
Blonde Jokes
Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown.
A few days later, as she was out driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute wooly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?" The shepherd, always the gentleman, said,
"Sure!"
The blonde thought for a moment and, for no discernible reason, said,
"352." This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed, and exclaimed, "You're right! OK, I'll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock."
The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked the one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.
When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said,
"OK, now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?"
Една мутра пътува със своя джип. На една блондинка много и се подигравали, че е много глупава и тя решила да си боядиса косата черна. Blonde in Disguise Blonde Counting Sheep Gefärbte Blondine beim Schäfer Der Schäfer und der TT Fahrer Η ΒΑΜΕΝΗ ΞΑΝΘΙΑ блондинка решила доказать, что она не дура. для этого она... Некој овчар си пасел овци,дошол некој цајкан без униформа и му рекол: Cansada das brincadeiras sobre sua burrice, a loira resolveu pintar o cabelo de preto. Para comemorar o novo visual, foi dar uma volta de carro pelo campo e la encontrou um pastor de ovelhas. — Bom dia, senhor pastor! Que lindo rebanho o senhor tem! — Obrigado! — Se eu acertar quantas ovelhas há... There was a typical blonde. She had long, blondehair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all theblonde jokes. One day she decided to get makeover. She cutand dyed her hair brunette and went drivingdown a country road, searching for someonewho would appreciate her for her intelligence. When she came... Eine Blondine, genervt von den ewigen Blondinenwitze, lässt sich die Haare rot färben und fährt aufs Land. Auf dem Weg dorthin trifft sie einen Hirten mit seiner Schafherde. Sie sagt ihm: "Wenn ich herausfinde wieviele Schafe Du hast darf ich eines mitnehmen, alles klar?" Der Hirte: "Ok"... A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. He tells to the shepherd: "I will bet you 100 € against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet.... There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence. So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country. Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the... Do bacy wypasającego owieczki przyjeżdża człowiek w średnim wieku. Po wyjściu z samochodu pyta: - Baco, co tu robicie? Wypasacie owce? - Tak, panocku. - A baco, jak wam powiem ile macie tych... Un touriste en train de faire une randonnée en montagne croise un troupeau de moutons avec son berger. Ils discutent de tout et de rien et sur la proposition du touriste en viennent à faire un... A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I... Er was er eens een herder die met zijn schapen langs de kant van de weg liep. Plots dook er een spiksplinternieuwe Cherokee Jeep op, bestuurd door een man in een Hugo Boss hemd, Nike baskets, Rolex... Een dom blondje loopt op de Veluwe en ziet daar een herder met zijn schaapjes lopen. "Oh wat leuk" zegt het domme blondje tegen de herder, "ik wil ook zo'n lief schaapje hebben!" "Nou, zegt de... En blondine blev træt af alle de blondine vittigheder der var, og farvede sit hår sort, og kørte en tur på landet. Hun kom forbi en bondegård, med en mark med får. Hun holdte ind og spurgte... Det var en gång en blondin, som ville prova om det var sant det som folk säger om blondiner. Hon färgade håret kastanjebrunt, och åkte ut på landet, och stannade vid en bondgård. - Nu skall jag... Det var en gang en blondine som var lei av alle blondine-vitsene, og farget derfor håret brunt for å se om hun bli smartere. Litt senere på dagen kjørte hun forbi en bondegård med sauer. Hun sa til... Rigtig blondine? Blondinen er træt af at blive kaldt dum så hun tager en sort paryk på og kører sig en tur i bilen. Hun kommer til et vejkryds hvor der står en hyrde med sine får. Blondinen vil... One day a blonde woman named Sally finally got tired of everyone assuming she was stupid because of her hair color. She decided to go to the hairdressers and have her hair dyed brown. Feeling quite... A blonde got tired of everyone treating her like she was dumb so she decided to dye her hair brown. She went out and about in the world to prove that she was smart. She came upon a sheep farmer and... A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she... Jede přebarvená blondýnka na kole a potká baču se stádem ovcí. V dobrém rozmaru navrhne: „Když ti povím, kolik máš přesně ovcí, dáš mi jednu?” Bača souhlasí. Exblondýnka mu to řekne, strefí se a... Sikke et får En blondine ville bevise over for sig selv og for andre, at blondiner var knap så dumme som folk troede, så hun farvde sit hår brunt og drog ud for at bevise. Da hun var kommet godt ud... Blondinen på landet Så var der blondinen der farvede sit hår og kørte en tur på landet. Efter et stykke tid blev hun stoppet af en hel masse får der blokerede vejen. Blondinen fandt frem til...
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One night a blond nun was praying in her room when God appreared before her. "My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish," said God. "Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Сhrisт. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways," said the nun. "There must be something you would have of me," said God. "Well, there is one thing," she said. "Just name it," said God. "It's those blonde jokes. They are so demeaning to blonds everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blond jokes to stop."
"Consider it done," said God. Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do just for you."
"There is one thing. But it's really small, and not worth your time," said the nun. "Name it. Please," said God. "It's the M&M's," said the nun. "They're so hard to peel."
Blonde Jokes
A blonde was driving her car home one night when she suddenly found herself in the middle of a dreadful hailstorm. The hailstones were as big as golf ваlls and her car got dented up very badly. The next day, she takes the car to a repair shop to have the dents looked at. The repair guy, noticing that she is blonde and pretty flaky, decides to have some fun and tells her to вlоw into the tailpipe of the car really hard when she gets home, and that doing so will cause all of the dents to pop out. When she gets home, she starts blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she can, over and over. Just then, her best friend -- who also is blonde -- shows up. Her friend sees her blowing into the tailpipe and is quite startled by the action. She blurts out:
"What are you doing?"
She tells her the repair guy told her to вlоw into the tailpipe real hard and the dents would pop out. Her girlfriend says:
"Duh! You need to roll up the windows first!"
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