Blonde Jokes - Page 61

One day, a blonde drove by a cornfield and saw another blonde out in the field trying to row a boat. "Geez, I hate blondes like that," said the blonde as she drove by. "If I could swim I'd go out there and kick her вuтт!"

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Whats the advantage of having a blonde as a girlfriend? A: You get to park in handicapped zones.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

What does the left leg of a blonde say to her right leg?
Nothing they have never met.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

An blonde girl goes to the council to register for child benefit. "How many children?" asks the council worker. "10" replies the blonde girl. "10???" says the council worker.. "What are their names?"
"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne"
"Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naah..." says the blonde girl "its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker. "That's easy," says the girl... "I just use their surnames" Submitted by Calamjo Edited by Curtis

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Blonde Jokes

A blonde walked in a diner and orders a cup of coffee. When she gets her drink, she notices that it has a "contest game piece" on the side of the cup. She peels off the sticker and instantly starts screaming, "I won a motor home!" She continues shoulting, "I won a motor home!" until the waitress decides to get her boss. "What's the problem here?" the manager asks. "I won a motor home!" she shouts again. "That's impossible!" he replies. "We didn't give out motor homes." She says "Well, it says so on this sticker." The boss takes the sticker and reads it. It says:
"Win a bagel."

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Blonde Jokes Boss Jokes Coffee Jokes

I was in Lowe's the other day pushing my cart around when I collided with a young guy pushing his cart.
I said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says,
"That's OK, it's a coincidence, I'm looking for my wife,too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.
I said,
"Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
The young guy says,
"Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with blonde hair, big blue eyes, long legs, big воовs, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no вrа. What does your wife look like?"
I said,
"Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."
Most old guys are helpful like that.

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Blonde Jokes Boob Jokes

Question: What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up on each other? Answer: An air mattress.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes for heads, and no for tails. Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out. During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers." Submitted by Calamjo Edited by Curtis

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Blonde Jokes

Did ya hear about the blonde who brought a bag of frozen french fries to a poker game? Someone told her to bring her own сhiрs.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words? A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs? A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? A: Perri-air.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote? A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head? A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.
Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear? A: Data transfer.

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Blonde Jokes

Why are there no ice cubes in the blonde's freezer? A: She forgot the recipe.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A blond was rollerblading with her headphones on. she stopped in the hair salon and asked for a hair cut. she instructed that the hair stylist could not take off the headphones. the stylist replied "no" so the blond left. she went to a different hair salon and said the same thing. the stylist replied "ok". after a while, the blond fell asleep in the chair. the stylist took off the headphones and the blonde died on the spot. confused at what happened, the stylist put on the headphones. they were saying, "breath in, breath out"

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Blonde Jokes

A blonde goes into the cleaners and drops off a blouse to be dry cleaned.
As she's leaving the clerk says,
"Come again."
The blonde stops and says,
"No, it's mustard this time."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, 'DALLAS COWBOYS'!
And they say blondes are dumb....

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Blonde Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? They don't know the route.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A blonde was having sharp pains in her side.
The doctor examined her and said,
"You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde yelled at the doctor,
"I came here to get medical help, not get a sтuрid compliment!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

The Local sheriff was looking for a new deputy. When a blonde walks in to try for the job, he asks her "Okay, what is 1 and 1?"

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

A traveler wandering on an island inhabited by cannibals comes upon a butcher shop. This shop specialized in human brains sorted out according to source.
The sign in the shop read:
Artists' Brains $9/lb
Philosophers' Brains $12/lb
Scientists' Brains $15/lb
Blondes' Brains $100/lb
Upon reading the sign, the traveler noted, "My, those beekeepers' brains are expensive - they must be very powerful!"
The butcher replied, "Not really. They're expensive because it takes so many Blondes to get one pound of brains!!"

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Blonde Jokes

A redhead, a brunette and a blonde that were captured and ordered before the firing squad. The redhead was brought out, put on the stand and at the time when the squad leader yelled "Ready, aim..." she shouted "Tornado!" and pointed behind the firing squad. Everyone looked and she jumped down and ran away. They brought out the brunette, put her up on the stand and when the squad leader yelled, "Ready, aim..." she pointed and yelled "Earthquake!". When everyone stopped to look around, she ran away. Finally, the firing squad brought the blonde out and when the squad leader yelled "Ready, aim..." she pointed and yelled "Fire!"

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Blonde Jokes

Three women escape from prison - a blonde and two brunettes - and to get away from the cops they hide in an abandoned farm house. Inside the house there are three sacks that the escapees crawl into when the police search the building. One of the cops sees the sacks and yells, "There's just three burlap sacks in here!" To which his partner replies "Then kick them just to be sure it's not them hiding". The officer goes and kicks one with a brunette in it and she yells "MEEEYYOWW!" The officer says "Oh, its just a sтuрid cat in there." So he kicks the one with the other brunette in it and she yells "RUUFFF RUFFF!" The officer says "Oh, it's just a sтuрid dog!" Then he kicks the sack with the blonde in it and she yells "POTATOES!"

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Blonde Jokes