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A blonde says to her doctor, "Each time I try to sip my coffee, my eye hurts."
The doctor says, "Maybe you should take the stirrer out of the cup."
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Men vs Women Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes Coffee Jokes
Two blondes were on their way to Disneyland and came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left." So they went home.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road."Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?" she asks.
The shepherd agrees. She blurts out, "352!"
The shepherd is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep."I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"
"Hey lady," says the shepherd. "If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
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Една мутра пътува със своя джип. На една блондинка много и се подигравали, че е много глупава и тя решила да си боядиса косата черна. Blonde Counting Sheep Gefärbte Blondine beim Schäfer Der Schäfer und der TT Fahrer Η ΒΑΜΕΝΗ ΞΑΝΘΙΑ блондинка решила доказать, что она не дура. для этого она... Некој овчар си пасел овци,дошол некој цајкан без униформа и му рекол: Cansada das brincadeiras sobre sua burrice, a loira resolveu pintar o cabelo de preto. Para comemorar o novo visual, foi dar uma volta de carro pelo campo e la encontrou um pastor de ovelhas. — Bom dia, senhor pastor! Que lindo rebanho o senhor tem! — Obrigado! — Se eu acertar quantas ovelhas há... There was a typical blonde. She had long, blondehair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all theblonde jokes. One day she decided to get makeover. She cutand dyed her hair brunette and went drivingdown a country road, searching for someonewho would appreciate her for her intelligence. When she came... Eine Blondine, genervt von den ewigen Blondinenwitze, lässt sich die Haare rot färben und fährt aufs Land. Auf dem Weg dorthin trifft sie einen Hirten mit seiner Schafherde. Sie sagt ihm: "Wenn ich herausfinde wieviele Schafe Du hast darf ich eines mitnehmen, alles klar?" Der Hirte: "Ok"... A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. He tells to the shepherd: "I will bet you 100 € against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet.... There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence. So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country. Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the... Do bacy wypasającego owieczki przyjeżdża człowiek w średnim wieku. Po wyjściu z samochodu pyta: - Baco, co tu robicie? Wypasacie owce? - Tak, panocku. - A baco, jak wam powiem ile macie tych... Un touriste en train de faire une randonnée en montagne croise un troupeau de moutons avec son berger. Ils discutent de tout et de rien et sur la proposition du touriste en viennent à faire un... A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I... Er was er eens een herder die met zijn schapen langs de kant van de weg liep. Plots dook er een spiksplinternieuwe Cherokee Jeep op, bestuurd door een man in een Hugo Boss hemd, Nike baskets, Rolex... Een dom blondje loopt op de Veluwe en ziet daar een herder met zijn schaapjes lopen. "Oh wat leuk" zegt het domme blondje tegen de herder, "ik wil ook zo'n lief schaapje hebben!" "Nou, zegt de... En blondine blev træt af alle de blondine vittigheder der var, og farvede sit hår sort, og kørte en tur på landet. Hun kom forbi en bondegård, med en mark med får. Hun holdte ind og spurgte... Det var en gång en blondin, som ville prova om det var sant det som folk säger om blondiner. Hon färgade håret kastanjebrunt, och åkte ut på landet, och stannade vid en bondgård. - Nu skall jag... Det var en gang en blondine som var lei av alle blondine-vitsene, og farget derfor håret brunt for å se om hun bli smartere. Litt senere på dagen kjørte hun forbi en bondegård med sauer. Hun sa til... Rigtig blondine? Blondinen er træt af at blive kaldt dum så hun tager en sort paryk på og kører sig en tur i bilen. Hun kommer til et vejkryds hvor der står en hyrde med sine får. Blondinen vil... One day a blonde woman named Sally finally got tired of everyone assuming she was stupid because of her hair color. She decided to go to the hairdressers and have her hair dyed brown. Feeling quite... Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was out driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to... A blonde got tired of everyone treating her like she was dumb so she decided to dye her hair brown. She went out and about in the world to prove that she was smart. She came upon a sheep farmer and... A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she... Jede přebarvená blondýnka na kole a potká baču se stádem ovcí. V dobrém rozmaru navrhne: „Když ti povím, kolik máš přesně ovcí, dáš mi jednu?” Bača souhlasí. Exblondýnka mu to řekne, strefí se a... Sikke et får En blondine ville bevise over for sig selv og for andre, at blondiner var knap så dumme som folk troede, så hun farvde sit hår brunt og drog ud for at bevise. Da hun var kommet godt ud... Blondinen på landet Så var der blondinen der farvede sit hår og kørte en tur på landet. Efter et stykke tid blev hun stoppet af en hel masse får der blokerede vejen. Blondinen fandt frem til...
Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Dog jokes
Q: How do you know a blonde is having a bad day?
A: Her тамроn is behind her ear, and she can't find her pencil.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: She crawled across the street when the sign said, ''DON'T WALK.''
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70?
A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.
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Men vs Women Jokes School Jokes Blonde Jokes Math Jokes
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner.Q: How does a blonde confuse you?
A: She comes out and says she did.
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Δωμάτιο To confuse a blonde, stick her in a round room and tell herthere is a M&M in the corner. Comment occupé une blonde pendant une heure? Il suffit simplement de lui demandé de chercher des coins dans une pièce ronde Wie kann man eine blondine in den wahnsinn treiben man bringt sie in ein zimmer das nur runde ecken hat und sagt in der ecke ist ein hunderter schein ¿Sabes cómo puedes mantener a un atlante en movimiento todo el día? Lo metes en un cuarto redondo y le dices que se siente en la esquina.
Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Tell her a blonde joke.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: How are blondes and computers similar?
A: You never appreciate them until they go down on you.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: A blonde and a brunette jumped off a cliff. Who hit bottom first?
A: The brunette - the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.
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Блондинка и брюнетка ще скачат от Айфеловата кула. Vom Hochhaus fallen A blonde and a brunette fell off a building, which hit the ground first? The brunette, the blonde had to ask for directions Om en blondin och en brunett hoppade samtidigt från en skyskrapa, vem skulle träffa marken först? Brunetten, blondinen måste stanna och fråga efter vägen Me: If a blonde girl and brunette girl jumped off a cliff at the same time, who would hit the ground first? Friend: I don't know, who? Me: The brunnete, the blonde had to ask for directions. Det var en blondine og en brunette som falt ned fra en skyskraper, hvem traff bakken først? Svar: Brunetten, fordi blondinen måtte stoppe fire ganger og spørre etter vegen Blondi ja terroristi hyppäsivät yhtä aikaa katolta. Kumpi osui ensimmäisenä maahan? Terroristi, sillä blondi eksyi matkalla. Brunette ja blondi hyppäsivät tornista alas. Kumpi oli ensin alhaalla? – Brunette, koska blondin täytyi pysähtyä kysymään tietä. Una bionda e una bruna si buttano dal 25° piano di un palazzo. Quale delle due arrivera’ per prima al suolo? La bruna! Perche’ la bionda si perde per strada! En brunette og en blondine hopper ut fra et fly. Hvem lander først, og hvorfor? Svar: Brunetta lander først, fordi blondina stopper 5 ganger for å spørre om veien. - Perche’ la bionda ha smesso di prendere la pillola ? Perche’ continuava a cadere di fuori. - Perche’ alla bionda faceva male l’ombelico? Perche’ anche il suo ragazzo era biondo. - Se una bionda... En blondine og en brunette springer samtidig ud fra et højhus. Hvem rammer først jorden? - Brunetten. Blondinen bliver nød til at spørge om vej! O blonda si o bruneta cad de pe Intercontinental. Care ajunge prima jos? Raspuns:bruneta,blonda s-a oprit sa intrebe care-i drumul. Blondi ja brunetti hyppäsivät katolta. Kumpi osui ensimmäisenä maahan? - Brunetti, sillä blondin piti matkalla pysähtyä kysymään tietä Blondi ja kukkaruukku putoavat kerrostalon katolta. Kumpi on maassa ensin? - Kukkaruukku. Blondi pysähtyy kysymään tietä. O blonda si o bruneta sunt aruncate din avion. Cine ajunge prima jos?Bruneta, pentru ca blonda se intoarce sa intrebe Cum ajunge jos. Blondýna a bruneta skočí z mrakodrapu. Obě zároveň a bez padáku. Kdo dopadne dřív? Bruneta, protože blondýna se ještě musí ptát na cestu! Jeśli blondynka i brunetka wypadną razem z okna wieżowca, która szybciej spadnie? - Brunetka. Blondynka parę razy zatrzyma się by spytać o drogę... Een domblondje en een negertje springen van een gebouw. Wie is het eerst beneden ? Het negertje want het domblondje vroeg onderweg de weg. P: Uma loira e uma morena tentam suicídio, se jogando de cima de um prédio de 20 andares... Quem cai primeiro no chão? R: A morena. Por que a loira parou para pedir informação! A blonde, brunette, and redhead are all on a building about to jump off. They all jump at the same time. Which one landed last? The blonde because she asked for directions. Boy1: A blonde and brunette are on the top of a building. Who falls off first? Boy2: The blonde? Boy1: No, she has to ask for directions on how. Ερώτηση: Εάν μια μελαχρινή και μια ξανθιά πέσουν από ένα κτήριο ποια θα φτάσει πρώτη κάτω? Απάντηση: Η μελαχρινή – η ξανθιά θα σταματήσει στο δρόμο για οδηγίες
Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing in a circle?
A: A dope ring.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: What do you call three blondes at Christmas?
A: Но, hо, hо!
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: How do blondes' brain cells die?
A: Alone.
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Знаеш ли как умират мозъчните клетки на блондинка? Gehirnzelle einer Blondine Το τελευταίο κύτταρο How do blonde brain cells die? Comment meurt une cellule cérébrale d'une blonde? Très seule. Come muoiono le cellule cerebrali di una bionda ? Solitarie. Hvad dør en blondines hjerneceller af? - Ensomhed! Miten blondin aivosolut kuolee? - Yksinään Hvordan dør svenske hjerneceller. - Alene. - Hur dör hjärncellerna hos en norrman? - Ensamma! - Hur dör genusmaffians hjärnceller? - Ensamma. Jak umierają komórki mózgowe blondynki ? - Samotnie... Kaip jaučiasi smegenų ląstelė blondinės galvoje? Labai labai vieniša.
Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Q: Why did the blonde keep taking off the soda's bottle cap and putting it back on?
A: The bottle cap said, "Sorry, try again."
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: What does a blonde do when it gets cold?
A: She sits by a candle.
Q: What does she do when it gets really cold?
A: She lights it.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
A blonde goes to the doctor with burns on both of her ears and her right hand. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor.
"I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear."
"'What about the other ear and your hand?" the doctor asked.
She replied, "I tried to call for an ambulance."
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Блондинка отива на лекар с изгорени, ярко червени бузи. Пациент со изгорени уши оди на доктор Iron Phone La oreja y la plancha Το σιδέρωμα. Ein Mann besucht einen Idioten, der auf beiden Ohren einen dicken Verband hat. A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had had happened to her ears? One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt. The doctor askes her what had happened. Ein Beamter wird mit verbrannten Ohren ins Krankenhaus eingeliefert. "Wie ist das passiert?" fragt der Arzt. "Ich habe gebügelt", berichtet der Beamte, "da klingelte das Telefon. Ich war so in Gedanken, da habe ich statt des Hörers das Bügeleisen ans Ohr gepresst." - "Ja, aber wieso haben Sie... Duas irmãs, que por acaso eram loiras, moravam num apartamento quando uma amiga vai visitá-las e nota uma queimadura no rosto de uma delas: — Nossa amiga, o que foi isso? — Nem te conto! Estava passando roupa quando o telefone tocou e no reflexo eu acabei atendendo o ferro... — Nossa que descuido... Eine Blondine hat sich beide Ohren verbrannt. "Wie ist denn das passiert?" will der herbeigeeilte Arzt von ihr wissen. "Nun, ich war gerade beim Bügeln, als das Telefon klingelte, und dann habe ich aus Versehen das Bügeleisen ans Ohr gehoben." Daraufhin der Arzt: "Ja, aber wie haben sie... Comment faire cramer une blonde ? Il faut l'appeller sur son portable quand elle est en train de repasser ! Había un tipo con las dos orejas quemadas y su amigo le pregunta: ¿Por qué tienes las dos orejas quemadas? El atlante le responde: Porque estaba planchando y llamaron por teléfono y contesté con la... Bellman var på läkarbesök. Han hade fått kraftiga brännskador på båda öronen så doktorn frågade: - hur gick det till? - jag stod och strök när telefonen ringde men jag tog fel på telefonen och... Dois portuguêses chegam na casa de um amigo com a orelha queimada e o dono da casa perguna para um deles: -porque está com a orelha queimada?? e ele responde: -porque o tele fone tocou e sem... En blondin kommer till sitt arbete och hon möts av sin chef som säger, - Vad har hänt med dina öron? - Jag höll på att stryka lite kläder då telefonen ringde och jag svarade med strykjärnet.... Две блондинки: - Муцка, защо са ти превързани и двете уши? - Оооф, вчера взех да гладя. Звъни ми телефона през това време... - И ти кво? - Вместо телефонът допрях ютията до ухото си... - Добре де,... Iba caminando por la calle un borrachito y se encuentra con su compadre, y éste al ver que el borrachito tenía las orejas a carne viva le pregunta: - Pero, ¿qué te ha pasado compadre? - Es que a mi... Manolo está tratando de decirle algo al doctor. Dígame ¿Qué le pasó en las orejas? Ay, ay, ay, doctor es que escuché el teléfono y en vez de coger el teléfono cogí la plancha. ¿Y qué le paso en la... Ollie walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, “What happened to your ears?” … … Ollie says, “Yesterday I vas ironing a shirt ven da phone rang and I accidentally... En blondine kom til legen med brennmerke på øret. Legen spurte da: - Hva har skjedd med deg. - Jo jeg holdt på å stryke ei bukse da telefonen ringte, og da tok jeg strykejernet. To gamle kjente møttes på byen: – Hva har du gjort med ørene dine, Knut? – Jo, du skjønner. Jeg stod med strykejernet da telefonen ringte. Og du vet jeg blitt litt distré med årene. Så jeg svarte... Hos lægen. "Hvordan kunne du brænde ørene?" "Jeg stod og strøg tøj, da telefonen pludselig ringede. Og så tog jeg fejl af telefonen og strygejernet!" "Men du har jo brændt begge øre..." "Ja, jeg... Legen på legevakten i Stockholm så spørrende på pasienten som hadde kommet inn med svidde ører. – Hvordan i alle dager klarte du å brenne deg slik på ørene, spurte hun pasienten. – Jeg stod og... C'est une blonde qui rend visite à sa copine blonde. Mais la copine a deux gros pansements, un sur chaque oreille. - Oh dis donc qu'est-ce qui t'es arrivé ? - Ben, c'est tout bête. L'autre jour,... Білявка з обпеченими вухами приходить до лікаря. — Що трапилось? — запитує лікар. — Переглядала по телевізору серіал, праску вимкнути забула, а вона, як на зло, стояла поряд із телефоном. Коли... Przychodzi baba do lekarza z poparzonymi uszami. Lekarz się pyta: co się pani stało? Prasowałam gdy zadzwonił telefon. A drugie ucho? Chciałam zadzwonić na pogotowie. Un uomo vicino ad un suo amico vedendolo con le orecchie piene di vesciche: - "per la miseria gigi, ma cosa hai fatto a quell'orecchio?" - "mia moglie ha messo il ferro da stiro vicino al telefono... Sarışın yanmış iki kulağıyla doktora gider. Doktor; - Kulaklarına ne oldu . Sarışın; - Ütü yapıyordum ve telefon çaldı. Ben de telefon diye ütüyü koydum kulağıma . ...Doktor; - Peki öteki kulağına... A portuguesa foi ao medico com queimaduras de segundo grau nas duas orelhas. — Mas como a senhora conseguiu queimar as duas orelhas? - perguntou o esculápio, indignado. — Ora, doutor! - explicou a... Han hadde stygge brannsår på begge ørene, og på legevakten ville de vite hva som hadde skjedd. - Jeg stod og strøk skjorter da telefonen ringte. Og så tok jeg feil og løftet strykehjernet til høyre... Een Belg liep met zijn oor helemaal in het verband. Een Nederlander kwam hem tegen en vroeg: "Wat is er met jou gebeurd?" De Belg antwoordde: "Ik was aan het strijken toen de telefoon ging".
Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.
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Блокада Eine Blondine zwischen zwei Brünetten Jak nazvete blondýnku mezi dvěma brunetkami? Mentální blok. Hvad kalder man en blondine mellem to brunetter? - En mental blokering! Stiti ce-i o blonda intre 2 barbati? Un blocaj mintal. Vad kallar man en blondin mellan två brunetter? Mental blockad Jak się nazywa blondynka pomiędzy dwoma brunetkami? - Przepaść intelektualna.
Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
A: The translator.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: Why did the blonde build a bridge across the river?
A: So she could have shade when she swam across.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea?
A: Inflate it.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
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