Computer Jokes

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C program run.
C program crash.
C programmer quit.

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

my wife said if I don’t get of the computer shes gonna slam my head in to the keyboard but I think I’ll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf

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Computer Jokes

Chuck Norris can access private methods.

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Technology Jokes Programmer Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes Geek jokes Military Jokes

What did the psychiatrist say to the android kleptomaniac?
DON'T keep taking the tablets!

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.

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Technology Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Internet Jokes

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and restart.
Order shall return.

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection

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Computer Jokes

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, “I still love Vista, baby”.

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Computer Jokes

Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach?
No, you should do it on a computer.

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Technology Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Computer Jokes Internet Jokes

This website may not be idiот proof, but at least it’s diмwiт resistant.

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

What goes ‘choo choo choo’ while online?
Thomas the search engine.

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.”

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Computer Jokes

Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?

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Marriage and Family Jokes Baby Jokes Computer Jokes

Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk?

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians?
Because they can’t find the motherboard

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Office and Work Jokes Computer Jokes

A wife and husband was setting up their computer and the husband makes the password my diск, but the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.

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Computer Jokes

Fed up with your computer winning at chess?
Try it at kick-boxing instead!

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire.
The three men try to solve the problem.
The project manager said:
"Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination."
The computer programmer said:
"We have here the driver's guide.
I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive."
The computer operator said:
"First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again.
Maybe it will fix the problem."
Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said:
"Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again."

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Programmer Jokes Men jokes Computer Jokes Boss Jokes

I started a band called 999 megabytes… we still haven’t gotten a gig

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Computer Jokes