Criminal Jokes

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I met this girl at a party the other week.
She had a T-Shirt on with the words “Make Love Not War”.
So I tried it on with her, you should’ve seen the fuскing fight she put up.

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Military Jokes Criminal Jokes

‘Teen held for rаре in South Africa’
No shiт. How else are you supposed to rаре them?

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Criminal Jokes Africa Jokes

A man was sleeping soundly when his wife shook him and said, “Wake up, someone is breaking in!”
The man had gone through this same scenario almost every night of his marriage, and he knew that the only way he would get any rest was to get up and go check it out.
This time, however, he found that there really was a man with a gun who entered to rob the house!
As the thief was about to flee the man said, “Stop! You have to come with me and meet my wife.”
Surprised, the thief turned around abruptly and said, “Why would you want me to meet your wife?”
The man replied, “She’s been expecting you for 20 years.”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Criminal Jokes

How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized сriме? They were always using pyramid schemes!!

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Criminal Jokes

Did you hear about the сriме in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

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Criminal Jokes

Shrien Dewani’s trial has collapsed in South Africa and tonight he’s a free man…
Although if you ask me, he’s been a free man since the night his wife was shot dead.

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Men jokes Criminal Jokes Africa Jokes

If you were to ask me: “Where would be the worst place to commit a сriме?”, I would say a multi-storey car park. Because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.

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Criminal Jokes

Have you ever been accused of a сriме you didn’t commit? Well I have! I was wrongfully accused of larsiny yesterday, im not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.m

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Criminal Jokes

What’s the smartest сriме?
3rd degree мurdеr.

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Criminal Jokes

what did pepper say to spray
hey spray im pepper
and i think we should fight сriме!!!

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Criminal Jokes

Me:911 I just killed someone
Cops:Cool we will not come
Me:Why
Cops:Don’t admit a сriме.
Phones:Ваng Bang
Me:Well that was 2 crimes done.

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Criminal Jokes

There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the сriме seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

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Criminal Jokes Blonde Jokes

EU Delegate: “Sir, your country has the highest corruption and сriме rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?”
Ambassador: tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros “You didn’t see any statistics.”

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Criminal Jokes

What is the most common сriме in China?
Identity fraud

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Criminal Jokes

Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife in his car and know one could see him. He threw the body out the car and thew the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife is dead and to come to the sene of the сriме. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops amediently arrested him. Why?
ANSWER: The cops never said qhere the sene of the сriме is.

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Criminal Jokes

My time machine landed slap ваng in the middle of Hitlers living room in 1940.
I thought now’s my chance to change the world.
“Please sir,” I pleaded, “don’t gas the Jews. ”
“Gas the Jews?” Нiтlеr replied, “h’mm, I hadn’t thought of that.

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Criminal Jokes Hitler Jokes

Why did the person go to jail?
He committed a сriме.

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Criminal Jokes

What’s the only victimless сriме you can commit? Мurdеr, cause there’s a victimless!

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Criminal Jokes

“When Republicans do Politics, it’s a сriме. But when Democrats commit crimes, it’s Politics.” —Tyler Nixon

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Political Jokes Criminal Jokes

If being ugly was a сriме u would get a life sentence

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Criminal Jokes Ugly Jokes