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Dark Humor Jokes

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Two Arabs are sitting in the Gaza Sтriр chatting over a pint of goats milk.
One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.
"This is my oldest son.
He's a martyr.
"Here's my second son.
He's a martyr too!"
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab wistfully says , They вlоw up so fast, don't they?"
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What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
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How do the fairy-tales of the whites and the blacks differ?
The stories of whites start: Once upon a time...
The stories of blacks start: Yo, man, you won't believe what a f**k has happened to me...
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If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
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Did you hear about the black guy that died on the highway?
- He stuck his head out the window and his lips beat him to death
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Only nowadays there appeared a possibility to realize yourselfe: sell your liver, kidneis, skeleton...
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Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I rареd didn't stand a chance.
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I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
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How do you hide your money from a mexican?
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Anyone want to try the ALS gas bucket challenge HMU.
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Press kickass if your saying jokes from this website to people at your school
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The other day a friend and myself decided to try out an aerobics video because we were both feeling very unfit.
We put the tape in and started to copy the movements.
After a few minutes we had chopped each other's arms off with chain-saws.
It was only then that we realized that I had accidentally put "Рsyсhо Killers III" in the video by mistake!
How we laughed!!!!
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One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor:
- Help me, please. I have a knife in my back.
The doctor, looking his watch says:
- Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you.
Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8.
- But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now.
The doctor, angrily says:
- I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you.
You must pass here tomorrow.
- But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead.
Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back.
The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye.
- Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
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How many dead babies does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
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Why did little Billy fall off the swing?
Because he got hit by a microwave.
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What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl?
Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
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An apple and a black person both fall off a tree at the exact same time who hits the ground first?
The apple because the rope catches the black person.
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Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago?
Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
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Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard?
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?
So you can tell which ones are still alive.
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