Dirty jokes

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A blind woman told me I had a big реnis yesterday. I think she was pulling my leg.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

There are some nights, when it comes to sеx, I'm like one of those goldfish you used to win as a party favor.... Sure, I'll twitch around for a couple minutes, but before you know it, I'm flat on my back.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

My friend: you where a mistake your parents didn't want a kid like you!
Me: well at least I wasn't born on a interstate where accidents happen!!!!!
Other friends: OHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIT!

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

Q. Why is the реnis the saddest part of the human body?
A. Because its hair is a mess, its best friend is a рussy and its next door neighbor is an аsshоlе.

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

We all know that men and women think differently. I know when I'm having sеx with a woman, she's thinking about love and marriage and romance, and I'm thinking, 'A hundred bucks? I can't afford this.'

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

The following coversation took place in a hospital bathroom.
Patient: Have you seen one as big as this today? (points to crotch area)
Nurse: Yes, I also work on the maternity ward.

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes

What starts with p and ends with orn. if you guessed popcorn you are right

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Dirty jokes

A man walks into an empty bar and asks the bartender where the bathroom is the bartender points toward the restroom and says "over there" about 20 minutes later another guy walks in and asks where the bathroom is the bartender points toward the restroom and says "over there" a then one more man walks in and asks where the bathroom is and the bartender says "over there". 2 hours later one guy walks out and the bartender asks "what were yah doin in there it sure took you long enough?" The man replies saying "blowin' bubbles" then about 10 min later another man comes out and the bartender asks "what were you doing in there it took u a while" the man replies "blowing bubbles" 13 minutes later the last man walks out zipping his zipper and the bartender asks "whats your name" the man replies "Bubbles"

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

I just broke up with my girlfriend, and my father really helped me through the break up. He said, 'Would you forgot about this girl? She's no good in bed anyway.'

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Dirty jokes

Can I put my tape in your Betamax?

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Dirty jokes

You know, it's not the length of the vector that counts... it's how you apply the force.

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Dirty jokes

Boy- give me a вlоw job
Girl-ok
Boy-starts to record her sucking
Girl-what are you doing(with diск in her mouth)
Boy- "replies" playing candy crush b*tch just keep sucking
Girl-.....

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Dirty jokes

The best way to get over one woman is to get under another...

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

(Kangaroo peeks into a mans pants) "WOW your kid is so small!"

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

My husband's so macho, he has five guns, a helicopter, a motorcycle; he used to be on a SWAT team; and he works the cattle at his mom's farm. So, I thought, he's either really macho, or he's really gаy and he's overcompensating. He likes to clean the house and vacuum, so I think he's really gаy. But I'm just gonna enjoy him 'til he comes out of the closet.

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes

So a pickle and cucumber where talking. the cucumber said to the pickle when ever i get big fат and juice i get sliced up and put on a salad, the pickle said when i get big fат and juice i get sliced up and put in a jar. a реnis over heard the conversation and said that's nothing, when i get big fат and juice my owner put a bag over my head and sticks me in a dark smelly room and makes me do push-ups until i throw up.

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Dirty jokes Fat Jokes

Name an activity that 9 out of 10 people enjoy.
Gang Rape

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Dirty jokes

I sometimes wonder if necrophiliacs are really into dead people or if they just enjoy the quiet.

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Dirty jokes

Hey baby, you look weightless to me.

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Dirty jokes

Q. Why did the butcher go to hospital?
A. He cut the wrong sausage.

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Dirty jokes